you are in for a treat today as my guest is an international authority on
authentic leadership and self-awareness you will be blown away by her
experiences her inspiring story of strength and by her wisdom Norma Hollis
has researched human nature for over 30 years while consulting at fortune 500
companies directing large nonprofits coaching c-suite executives and writing
programs for human development she uses these skills to help people bring out
the best in themselves so that they can create a more joyful and meaningful life
both personally and professionally she also certifies and licenses people
to deliver this program as well as use it as a self coaching tool Norma is one
of 16 women selected to represent the United States on a five-week visit to
China to teach her authenticity program to university students Norma is so
committed to helping people know themselves because she uses this as the
foundation for finding personal peace and making a more powerful impact in the
world
welcome to the succeed against the odds podcast my name is Francesca Anasazi
also known as the baya I'm a multi passionate entrepreneur I'm your host
and mentor and each week we bring you and inspiring persons and extras or
message and some behind the scenes to help you ignite and leave your potential
thanks so much for listening all the way from Los Angeles my guest is Norma
Hollis welcome Norma Thank You franceska it's great to be with you thanks for
having me I am so intrigued to have you here in my show because I saw the
description what you do you are an authenticity consultant can you please
share with us what that means well yes I work with individuals and
organizations I believe that every individual was born with a certain set
of gifts and talents that is what they're supposed to be using and doing
in their life but that society moves us in directions oftentimes away from what
is authentically who we are so I help people get readjusted and put them back
on the path of living the life that authentic for them in the same thing
with organizations in organizations especially with leaders and authentic
leadership I hope the leaders become more aware of who they are and become
more authentic so they can lead more effectively now you been doing this for
a while I've been doing for a while you know in my doing it is in two parts
because part one was the longest part which was writing the program which was
an experience of a 30-year journey of living my own life and writing about it
and not understanding that in dissecting me I dissected others and then when I
figured it out the second part is well what do you do with it now that you've
done this so I'm on part two now which is a very exciting so what led you to
become an authenticity consultant yes it's I didn't start off saying I'm gonna
be an authenticity expert that was not the objective it was I was 28 and I had
realized that I had done everything my parents had say to do to have a
successful life I had the husband the cars the house the job you know all the
things that I was told were important and I was absolutely miserable and I
didn't know what to do with my life because I didn't know who I was because
I was raised in the image of who my parents thought I should be so I then
decided to go on a quest to know who to know me and I didn't know it would take
me 30 years I've dissected myself and so it was just a journey to learn Who I am
and then in the process finding that I had created something that not only
relates to me but to other people because I'm a writer so all the time I
was discovering myself I was also writing about it in writing different
stories and that led me to just do things like make a grid and create an
assessment and just do a number of things I was I got myself into the
professional speaking industry I owned a speaker's bureau for a number of years
and so with that foundation and then my my degrees are early childhood which is
personal development and how people grow up and who they become so it was a
natural mix to start speaking about it once I understood what it was and then
the coach and its end to teach that's what's a lot of speakers or coaches and
I was like I've been a coach all my life I've been coaching everybody did I meet
whether they asked or not for a long time
before I realized it no you don't want to do it quite that way but yeah I think
there's so much value in what you're doing in more ways than one just just
the fact that you know what you said earlier that as you were writing the
program you realize that this was not just your just for you but it could help
other people and I think it brings home that we're really not alone we may feel
like we're going through some big challenges that nobody else can
understand but you're saying it's not true we're not alone really a lot of
people go through challenges and on that specific topic before we started this
interview you did mention that you've had to succeed against some odds are you
share some of that oh wow Sheriff you won is I had ear infections for 55
straight years every single year that I treated with mostly with antibiotics I
took antibiotics for 40 years straight and that obviously wrecked havoc on my
body I've had a total of 11 surgeries the women in my family died of digestive
cancer so I was eating the the anti-cancer diet and little did I know
that when I was eating for anti cancer it was giving me kidney stones so I've
had three kidney stone surgeries and so dealing with all of that and the the
lack of energy that came from the candida albicans that wrecked my body
after the antibiotics and then my most difficult challenge was my husband's
murder three years ago that obviously was very challenging they've never even
found any anyone arrested anyone regarding it so you know all of these
things when things happen to you one on one you know you just deal with
it the best way you can and when they happen two on two and three on three and
just continue you just keep going my my motivation and all of this has just been
understanding that I felt I came here for a purpose and in continuing on the
journey and and and in looking at every struggle that I've had and learning from
the lessons of the struggle and growing from the lessons and that's what's made
the difference for me first of all I'm so sorry about your husband's passing
and how it happened all the other challenges how does one I can't even
begin to imagine what that experience would have been like and I think most
people can't identify with that you're the way you're talking now is you're an
unbelievable pillar of strength and it sounds to me like if you chosen
something that I would say there's always the opportunity and the challenge
but that's quite the challenge did you go through a phase where it was like
there had to be some sort of transition were you immediately like super-strong
or was there a time of grieving how did you go through that process well you
know I has been pretty connected pretty
grounded too to understanding that the picture is bigger than me the world is
bigger than me and where do I fit in the world and having had the years of self
exploration and knowing myself I would lie down my strengths and look for my
friends who understood my weaknesses as a way to be support for me and they very
much were I always kept my my sights on my great passion for making a difference
in the world and my great passion for helping other people and I think I
turned everything into that and and I think the also that I've learned them
out of this strength at a very young age because when I was the other thing I
didn't mention that the reason I had the ear infections for 55 straight years
started when I was 8 years old when I had the first hole in my eardrum I how
still have a hold of my ear time I've had it all my life and they treated it
it was an infection that came from the hole in my eardrum and they treated it
with penicillin and other things and then those always gave me infections I
mean to give the highs and the allergies and the only way they could stop the
infection was to put a substance inside of my ear which felt like acid on the
inside of my head and then I had to go back and have that done on a regular
basis and that was followed by another year of just ear Apes that nobody could
stop they just wouldn't stop they just were just horrible and so that's where
my strength came from being eight and nine years old and having that level of
pain and having to deal with it and just having to go forward and not having
people around me to really help me figure out how to live life with that
pain and where to where to put that pain in my brain where to put it in my
emotions and not let it drive and and and be a part of my life as long as it
has been so where that's the foundation of my
strength and I just built on that so I learned how to deal with pain at a very
early age you also mentioned that you're in order to fight cancer from happening
to you because it runs in the family you went on an anti-cancer die which ended
up causing your kidney stones may I ask what was it that you were eating that
was causing the kidney stones as I'm sure listeners are probably wondering
what were you eating well let me let me just clarify that by saying that I have
it I had a predisposition for it because by taking the antibiotics and for so
many years it destroyed when you take antibiotics they killed the good and the
bad bacteria and you have to replace the good bacteria which I did not know and
did not do and as a result the cilia that are in our intestines that move
things through your intestines mine I don't have them so I had to be careful
what I eat and as a result the oxalates in oxalates
i have calcium oxalate kidney stones there are three different types of
kidney stones and that's the type that I have the foods that I eat it's not
doesn't reflect everybody so don't panic people and I tell you okay because my
body does it move the oxalates we saw normally in certain foods my body will
not move them out of my system so if I'm not careful they bound with
the calcium and death causes the stomach so those foods that I was eating to
anti-cancer or your green leafy vegetables like spinach and kale and
then carrots and almonds and tofu and beets I would travel a lot and I would
carry almonds and apples with me all the time and almonds I didn't realize were a
contributor to kidney stones you don't eat seeds or nuts pumpkin seeds are my
safest thing which I eat a lot of so I avoid leafy green vegetables except for
lettuce and bok choy boy carrots and I avoid potatoes because all of these
things are things that are high in oxalate it's not a group of food you
kind of have to know what it is and beets are very high in oxalate so I
don't I I avoid those foods chocolate dark time in tark top it in general so I
don't I do eat some occasionally but I pick I'll pick
chocolate over spinach and rather eat bok choy so it's just a matter of
manipulating that so everyone that does not doesn't say for everyone that eat
those foods but people who are in my situation or have kidney stones and also
a low oxalate diet is also very helpful for children who have autism do I say
that for those that might relate to well thank you for clarifying that okay so
going back to what you said earlier you you talked about how growing up he did
everything your parents told you to do and you did what was expected of you and
then things change for you what was what made things change for you I didn't
marry the right person I got married because I was told I was supposed to be
married so I didn't I didn't get married because I found someone that I really
had a good relationship with I got married because I was told he's supposed
to be married so and I became a teacher because my parents said well if your
husband leaves you if you teach you're safe you have a job I tell I talk for
one month I hated it I like teaching but not in the classroom I like teaching as
a speaker at the teaching in a different manner but not in the restrictions that
are there in the classroom I'm a little more out of the box than a traditional
you know school classroom so I had to find my way to become a speaker to come
out of the classroom the issue of my parents values I mean my parents love
them dearly they're both gone but they were my mother particularly was very
much into Cadillacs and mink coats and diamond rings and things of that nature
there are not really in my value system so look what am i one of the things that
I do now is I work a lot with people who are in transition and especially those
who are 16 to 30 that's one of the groups I have three groups I've worked
with that's one and that's because like you mentioned earlier about we're all
the same I just spent two minutes at months in China working with college
students teaching them and facilitating my authenticity process and what was so
interesting to me is that as I did one-on-one with some of these students I
heard the same thing that I just did except rather than
their parents told them to go into accounting or statistics or finance and
I'm meeting them and they're saying I hate this what am I supposed to do I'm a
junior or a senior about to graduate with this degree in the area that I
don't care for so that's again why my authenticity how people put on to put
people on their authentic path in life whether it's their only time whether
they're transitioning and changing jobs or whether they're retiring but helping
them find where do think we belong in this world not where someone told them
they should be but where do they truly belong
that's an alignment with the gifts and talents and the values that are there
are who they are so Norma is there something that you know if our listeners
right now are wondering well how do I know if I'm really I'm not happy with
where I'm at or I'm not even sure if I'm happy or not I just feel kind of blah
well what's what can they do to kind of figure out find third their real self
yeah there's two things I would recommend the first thing has to do with
connecting with your inner voice everyone was born with a voice that
speaks and that voice is inside of them and talks to them all the time
and some people don't recognize it or they're not sure and so what I tell
people is to think about how you answer yourself when you ask yourself the
question what am I going to wear today what am I going to eat or what time is
it and we ask ourselves those questions every day and we get answers every time
we ask them so our inner voice answers us either through a feeling or a memory
or something in our gut or a taste or whatever so think about how you get the
answer when you ask those questions and that will enable you to begin to connect
more deeply with your inner voice because that's the foundation for
authenticity and the second thing I would recommend is for people to take my
complimentary online assessment it is called the authentic life path
assessment because it helps you assess whether or not you're on your authentic
life path and after you take the assessment you get a series of
informational pieces some article and other things that will take you
deeper into understanding just how authentic are you and that will help you
to do some self-examination if you're on your right path for that and then we
also offer some complimentary one-on-ones along with that if people
are interested in having a conversation about their life and the assessment is
on your website the link is in the show notes yes they can go to my regular
website Norma Hamish calm and there is a link there or they can go directly to
the assessment and I think you had the link there and that's authenticity
assessment.com wonderful if a teenager comes to you and says what's your best
piece of wisdom you can give me what would you say to them I would say I
would do what he now is in Detroit last month visiting my grandson who just
turned 16 a few weeks ago and that's exactly what I did with him because he's
at that age where we're trying to figure out what the next step is he's trying to
figure it out and my family is very traditional you know I was out the box
and they were all in the box they didn't understand me and they don't understand
him very well either so what I did was immediately help him understand his
values what's really important to you what are the values that are critical
now at 15 16 teenagers the values that you have are oftentimes that values that
your parents had and told you you're supposed to believe and so that next
10-year period that we go through is a period of of adjusting those those
values but I would have I would tell the teenager to be aware of what's important
to them not what their parents said but what's really in their heart both in
terms of what their values are and what they feel they want to do with their
life what Lily makes them happy I have an assessment I get people that helps
them find their five values and helps them identify their top three gifts I
believe that if people live their life in their top three gifts they're much
happier so that's what I would tell them know themselves gain yourself awareness
come to understand your values and your gifts and then live your life and your
values and your gifts love it and reversing the story what if you had
parents of teenagers in front of you and you have to give them advice and these
are parents they're trying to do what your
parents did to you their expectations on their teens because that's the question
I'd love to hear because that's who I really want to get to is some of the
parents of the teenagers or even younger children who are who feel it's their
responsibility to direct their child's future which I clearly understand and
what I like to tell parents is that your role is to help children understand who
they are so that they can make the right decisions in the future so I love to ask
parents and I like to help parents recognize and children too that if you
think about your parents or grandparents not one of them could have imagined that
you can hold a digit of something in your hand a box in your hand and talk to
someone in across the world who would have thought about that 50 100 years ago
50 years ago it was kind of I'm saying insane but now all everybody has a phone
that they can call across the world in a drop B so how do you know what's gonna
happen 20 years from now when your children are in the workforce I have an
article that is free for people when they take my assessment and they click
on transition when they finish and it talks about the future of work thought
research this and the article explains it and it tells you that more than half
of the jobs that these young people will have available to them have not even
been created yet so how can you tell your child that this is the best thing
for you when in many cases that type of job may not even exist as a matter of
fact a huge number of jobs are going to disappear because of the emergence of an
artificial intelligence so what's the child's best safety net what's the best
thing a parent can tell a child is be yourself connect with the gifts and
talents you were born with and develop them you know gifts and talents are a
funny thing some of them are very obvious and some are not when people are
like our basketball players it's very obvious musicians it's very obvious very
early in life that this may be their gift and those that are successful
practice and that makes them successful but some
gifts like logical mathematical thinking doesn't emerge yourself until later but
the thing is to watch your children before the age of five especially before
the age of seven and see what they gravitate to and do your own research
see the the article that I wrote and click the link to take the assessment
that tells you about the thumb of the the gifts and talents and what jobs are
possible for them even in the future some future jobs for example in our
extinct species revivalist because we've gotten rid of some species and all of a
sudden we need them because the whole ecological systems getting messed up
space tourism guide body parts manufacturer body parts creator it's
stuff you wouldn't even think about how this one Android relationship counselor
so who would have thought so raise your children by the gifts they have then
whatever the world has to offer ten twenty thirty years from now your child
to be prepared to step into what's right for them Norma I think this is the best
advice I've ever heard anyone give parents thank you I love it I'm so bored
with you I just love it love it I love your wisdom wonderful now you mentioned
you you're an author you've written bollocks and where can we find your
books what are your books tell us about those I have three primary books one is
called 10 steps to authenticity and that was the book I wrote 10 years ago that's
an overview of the entire system of being authentic that I've developed it's
actually a system of self-awareness being your authentic self and finding
your authentic path in life the and that one's on Amazon ten steps to
authenticity I also have a brand new book that just came out in June and is
called blueprint for engagement it's about authentic leadership it's
about using the principles as a leader and it takes you deeper than the first
one it takes you deeper into the concepts of authenticity in the process
and how to use it and also gives you a number of case studies and then the
third book is actually the first one that I wrote which is
the process to become a professional speaker I used to own a speaker's bureau
and in the pray and I trained speakers I still train speakers and people to use
their excuse and talents as a speaker professionally to earn income sharing
their message and that book is also on Amazon and it will in the book you can
also find on on my website and that one is available to to help people who want
to be professional speakers now we know where to get them both Amazon and on
your website that's amazing well Norma you've been you're an incredible person
I love your wisdom what you're doing the difference you're making in the world
I really hope to connect with you in the future again is there anything before we
go that you'd like to share with our audience well I just would like the
audience to be more connected to their inner voice being authentic really
begins in your inner voice and listening to the voice that guides you and leads
you through your life you know we all talk about purpose a lot we kind of
throw that word around but what really is purpose where to come from it comes
in your inner voice it comes from that gut feeling it comes from something in
terms of how your voice speaks to you that I mentioned earlier so connect with
that that will help you be more connected to who you are give you far
more peace in your life and just put you on your authentic life path thank you so
much thank you for your wonderful comments you got me smiling ear-to-ear
thank you oh good good good good
you in person and give you a big hug one day well that would be wonderful I look
forward to that yeah we're not too far from each other I
mean we're on the same side of the continent so thank you so much for
listening if you enjoyed this episode please pass it on and it would mean so
much to me if you would leave and honestly
on items a really appreciated so next time embrace your magnificent
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