Thứ Hai, 1 tháng 1, 2018

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so good

milliner

Smyrna

love

the circle

surveyor deeper a Keeneland

good

good evening everyone may being Indian I call this an evening I see you still

refer to this as afternoon

so Paul was mentioning about Indian studies even for academic purposes I

would say you cannot study what you are referring to as India I'm not talking

about India as a nation but India as a net house what it represents it's not

something that you could study at the least you have to soak it in at the best

you have to dissolve into it there is no other way to know it because it does not

represent any particular ideology it does not represent any particular belief

system it is not a scripture it is not a particular God it is a complex

amalgamation of a million different doorways through which a human being can

attain to his ultimate potential this is what always the land that was referred

to as Bharat has always represented to the world the political entity of India

is a different different situation right now that's different but this is what it

represents let me in a limited time you can't explore India but as I said you

could soak it in it's not something that you understand it not it is not

something that you grasp it is just that it you have to soak it in it like your

brief

it is not because you understand that you have to take an oxygen and leave out

carbon dioxide your breath is happening that is just the understanding is a

consequence not the reason why your breathing's similarly this is just like

that because as inhaling oxygen and letting

out what we don't want is a certain level of life process what we are

referring to as India is another level of life process you have to just breathe

it in and soak it in if every cell in your body doesn't take the oxygen this

one live it is just like that if everything within you doesn't take

another dimension of life into you another dimension of life will not be

alive in you only the physical the psychological and the emotional will be

alive one will even deny that anything else exists because this is the nature

of human experience whatever it is not in your experience doesn't exist for you

right now I don't intend to insult the people who are up there but right now

let's say right up there there's a big gorilla sitting there just about to

pounce on you you are not aware of it it does not exist for you even if a

dinosaur is sitting there if you are not aware of it it doesn't exist for you

similarly anything that we are not conscious of it doesn't matter how big a

dimension it is how fundamental a dimension it is if we are not conscious

of it it will not exist for us in our experience our life is essentially what

we perceive and what we perceive right now is fundamentally limited to the five

sense organs what you see what you hear what you smell what you

tastes what you touch this is the life that you know this is the world that you

know this is the universe which is in your experience you could believe other

things but they are not a living reality for you belief systems can become very

strong what you believe in can become more real than the real in your

experience but that is purely a psychological experience what you

believe in and if you work hard enough on you we can make you believe in just

about anything you know that right from the day you were born if I went on

telling you my little finger is God if I raised this little finger divine

emotions will overflow within you genuinely not pretentious if it is too

bad for you I can dress it up just we have to decorate it a little bit then

you were willing to believe anything if you worked if you are worked upon hard

enough isn't it so what we believe it is of cultural significance of geographical

significance for certain areas of the world but it is of no existential

consequence you can believe whatever you want I you know he was just saying we

have a Center in Tennessee I was speaking in Nashville a few years ago I

was just telling them a joke in the joke I referred to God as him immediately a

few ladies stood up do you believe God is a man Oh

I know where it's going I was only telling you a joke it doesn't matter you

said him do you believe God is a man I said I was only telling you a joke it

doesn't matter so now there is an argument going around in certain parts

of America he's God a man or a woman in India we

have no such problems we have a man God we have a woman God we have a cow God we

have an elephant God we have a monkey we have a snake we have flying ones

crawling ones creeping ones every kind

because it's a very wise culture we foresaw all the future problems that may

arise

Idi Amin you heard of Idi Amin dog and Amin eat the Amin declare god is black I

agree with him if a white man can have a white court why can't a black man have a

black board this also is a big debate in some of the

further in churches is God white or black you've been trying to settle it

with elections but

but you people do not know whether God is white or black in India we know God

is brown because you know God never visited other parts of the world

he only sent his son or messengers in India God Himself landed nine times you

know this you know nine hour tops he landed in India himself nine times

always Indians are very proud of this to other parts he sent his son messenger

whatever but to India he himself came I keep reminding them that is because he

wanted to do the job hands-on with the Indians he will trust his son or

messenger and he came nine times and failed Indians are not easy people they

are not easy now difficult because they don't have a particular belief to hang

on to for everything they have an argument you can talk like this you can

talk like this you can talk from whichever direction this is not out of

confusion this is because this land opened up a million possibilities there

is no particular way to do it I think one person who paid the best possible

tribute to India was when Mark Twain visited India and spent almost three

months or so he said anything that can ever be done by either by God or man has

been done in this land now this is not about a particular geography this is not

about a particular people when you say East you are talking about

a certain kind of consciousness there could be Eastern people here there could

be Western people there to the east has become synonymous with consciousness

West has become synonymous with material success should these things to these two

things be opposing each other not at all evolving human consciousness and living

successfully in the world can go together and always been together

you must understand just about 225 years ago India was the largest economy in the

planet it amounted for almost 1/3 of the world's economy for political and other

reasons things have been uh gone bad that's a different thing but I'm saying

consciousness and living well on the outside need not clash with each other

it has nothing to do with each other how your outside and how your within

yourself are not connected so how your outside I will leave it to you how you

want to be on the outside I will leave it to you but how do you want to be on

the inside if you are given a choice how you want to be within yourself would you

like to be pleasant or unpleasant I want to hear that

now that you want to be pleasant what is pleasantness if you become

Pleasant in your body we call this help if you become very pleasant we call it

pleasure if you become Pleasant in your mind

we call this peace if you become very pleasant we call it joy if you become

Pleasant in your emotion we call this love

if you become very pleasant we call it compassion if you become Pleasant in

your very life energies we call this bliss

if you become very pleasant we call it ecstasy this is what you want within

yourself isn't it no I am NOT interested in all this I want to go to heaven why

because the advertisements have always said that heaven is a very pleasant

place if from your birth they had told you God lives in heaven but it's a

horrendous place do you want to go there no we will pray from here we don't want

to go there so whatever you may be doing whether you go to the temple or to the

bar you're still seeking pleasantness isn't it yes or no

hello if you if your surroundings become Pleasant we call this success so in what

way surroundings being Pleasant or opposed to inner pleasantness definitely

not there not against each other they go very well together there is no need to

have people to think if I have to be pleasant in the in word I have to see

generally this is this impression is coming come into the world that if you

are spiritual how you are determined whether you're spiritual or not is you

don't eat well you don't dress well you don't live well that means your

spiritual

if you do everything badly you must be spiritual this image has come because

they saw you'll be somewhere sitting blissed-out he never bothered about his

clothes his fellow clothes fell apart and he said they're probably naked

blistered simply because he was not concerned not because he chose to be

like that but now looking at him a lot of people are choosing to be like that

you are just a ping him you're not going to become like him

this happened in 1924 there was a bishop in the Greek Orthodox denomination

Greek Orthodox denominations generally they believe they are the only real

Christians rest are not they have their own Pope in Istanbul Istanbul being on

the Silk Route exotic stories from India waft across the Bosphorus very often so

for centuries these stories have been coming and this person has been wanting

to longing to go to India and see for himself he genuinely wants to meet a

mystic or a yogi but being a man of cloth he could not choose to go after he

was 60 when he was semi-retired he made it to India and someone took him down to

South India in southern India when he enquired somebody told him you go up

this mountain there is a yogi he will fulfill the prescription for you what

you're looking for so our men went up the mountain and as they had indicated

there was a man a yogi sitting there eyes closed blissed-out

so he went and they had told him if you go to if

you see a yogi you must prostrate but he was not built for that but managed to go

down scraping himself making noises and

hearing all this commotion the yogi opened his eyes and looked and smiled so

immediately the bishop asked can I ask you a question

yogi said by all means now the bishop asked a profound question of his life

what is life this is after 60 you should have asked this question at 8 or at

least a 16 what is life after 16 not bad you are asking some time in your life

the yogi smiled went into raptures and said life life is like the fragrance of

jasmine upon the gentle spring breeze

the bishop looked at him and said what life fragrance of jasmine upon the

gentle spring breeze our teacher told us life is like a tone once it gets into

you if you sit down it hurts if you stand up it hurts if you lie down it

hurts you are saying it is fragrance of jasmine upon gentle spring breeze the

yogi looked at him and said well that's his life

essentially the experience of life he is caused from wooden pain and pleasure

happens from within you joy and misery happened somebody near agony and ecstasy

happens from within you even light and darkness happens from within you what is

light for you is darkness for some other creature isn't it

what is darkness for them is light food it is the way you're responding to the

whole thing that it happens to you so if everything is caused from within you we

are not convinced about this okay do you see me it's a question do you see me use

your hands and point out where am I now you've got it wrong you know I'm a

mystic from South India now this light is falling upon me reflecting going

through your lenses inverted image in the retina do you know the whole story

so where do you see me right now within yourself where do you hear me right now

within yourself where have you seen the whole world within yourself have you

experienced anything outside of yourself have you nothing has ever happened to

you outside of yourself the whole universe has happened only within

yourself the way it happens within you is the way you know it you don't know it

the way it is you only know it the way it happens

within you it is all caused from within at least what is happening from within

you must happen the way you want it isn't it what is happening around you

there are too many people involved what's happening within you 100% must

happen the way you want it your joy and misery if there is a choice what's the

choice your agony and ecstasy if there is a choice what is the choice

pleasantness is the choice isn't it so why is it so much unpleasantness is

happening in human experience because we never took charge of the inner dimension

we believe by fixing the outside everything is going to be okay in the

last hundred hundred fifty years with the advent of science and modern

technology we have fixed too many things on the outside if you fix anymore there

won't be a planet left yes definitely this has brought much

convenience and comfort to our lives in every way we are the most comfortable

generation ever you agree with me I know you have series of complaints about how

things are not okay but we are the most comfortable generation ever before on

this planet isn't it so but we cannot say we are the most joyful generation on

the planet we are the most loving generation on the planet we are the most

blissed-out generation the plant definitely not we are complaining

complaining like crazy about everything like never before this is because we fix

the outside comfort inconvenience has happened well-being has not happened if

your interior tea was handled by you consciously you would definitely keep

this in a blissful state so is bliss the goal of life no bliss is a necessary

condition for life to flower to its full potential otherwise it will remain

constrained say if I happen to meet you when you are very happy I'm sure you are

a wonderful person yes or no but if I happen to meet you when you are

frustrated angry miserable you could be a nasty person isn't it yes or no is

this effect for everybody you know about 20% of our time resource and energies

are spent in the prisons in India and we also attempted something

here in the United States now our programs are mandatory in all the South

Indian prisoners people keep telling his head guru why are you spending so much

time with these criminals we don't even get to see you but you're spending time

in the prison I don't see any criminals what I see is everybody is in pursuit of

their happiness the man whom you call as a criminal is pursuing his happiness far

more vigorously than you yes in pursuit of your happiness you willing to stand

in a line and get what you want his longing for his happiness is so high and

vigorous he jumps the line that's all he's doing isn't it yes or no the only

thing that he is doing is he's jumping the line what you are willing to wait in

the line and get at the end of the month he wants to grab it in two minutes that

makes him a criminal isn't it but if you take this further back if you're in

pursuit of happiness I'm sorry this is in the Constitution if you're in pursuit

of happiness you are already a criminal because the moment you are in pursuit of

happiness suppose you're pursuing your happiness this way and I am pursuing my

happiness this way both of us meet out of civility out of etiquette you will

tell me please I will not budge then you would like to gently push me and go I

will not budge you would like to show me and go I will not budge then of course

you would like to shoot me and go yes if something or somebody is really blocking

your pursuit of happiness you want him to disappear somehow isn't it either

with a gun or a magic wand you want them to go yes or no no there was a depth

you want them to go isn't it if somebody is really blocking up your pursuit of

happiness do you want that person to vanish or no yes now their sense of

pursuing human consciousness is first thing is to shift your life from being

in pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness how can I be joyful have

you met my mother-in-law did you see my neighbor did you meet my boss I have

seen all those people too many of them around me all the time they're all dead

but the way you're experiencing your life right now is 100% caused by you

they can only create outside situations but your inner situation is 100% yours

isn't it right now you're sitting here if you don't like what I am saying you

can sit here joke about it and still enjoy it this way or that way both ways

you are free either to be pleasant or unpleasant isn't it yes or no that is

true in every situation it doesn't matter where whether you are up on the

peak or down in the dumps still what's happening within you is 100% yours if

you take charge of this then you keep yourself this full now your life becomes

an expression of this blissfulness there is substantial medical and scientific

evidence that when you are feeling very pleasant when you are joyful and

blissful your body and your mind function at its best success in the

world is essentially determined by how well you can harness this physical body

and is the progress of the mind how successful you are in any sphere of life

is essentially determined by this most of the time you don't need an enemy

self-help he's doing great a lot of people have

read self-help books how to screw up my life yes they can right they don't need

anybody's help the book also they can write because they're experts I wanted

to just look back and say how many of you have at least had one 24-hour

segment in your life one single day where full 24 hours every moment of it

went blissfully not a moment of anxiety agitation irritation anger frustration

nothing simply blissfully twenty-four hours very few people on the whole

planet can raise their hands to this you need to understand this if one day did

not happen the way you want it understandable if not even one day

happen the way you want it something fundamentally wrong it's time to look at

it isn't it yes it is time to play pay close attention to this life why is it

happening the way it's happening without taking charge of the mechanics of how

life is happening within you you're trying to somehow blunder through the

world if 10 people clap their hands you're too happy but that never even

lasts for 24 hours at a stretch isn't it yes or no other people's recognition

other people's expression of love other people's gifts other people's whatever

doesn't even last for 24 hours at a stretch you went out today somebody told

you oh you are the most wonderful person on this planet and you were floating on

cloud what number oh you do only night in South India we do 11 whatever number

cloud you are floating and you came home and people at home told you who you

really are

it is crashes isn't it highest levels of happiness have you

seen how it crashes just like that because what is happening within you

you're trying to cause cause it with external stimuli all the time it is time

you take charge of this what you want to do in your life is up to you this much

every human being deserves that at least your experience of life upon this planet

is pleasant whether you climb Mount Everest or not

whether you're going to become the richest man in the world or not at least

this much every human being deserves that your experience of life is pleasant

and wonderful no matter what the hell is happening around you yes or no and this

is doable because here there is only one ingredient that's you you want to create

pleasantness in your happiness in your home we don't know 3-4 people are there

whether they're going to cooperate or not if you want to create pleasantness

in your city there are too many people we don't know whether they'll cooperate

or not if you want to create pleasantness in the world you know

nobody in this world happens 100% the way you want them

did your parents happen 100% the way you want them did they the children can say

it's okay

did your friends happen 100% the way you want them did your spouse or partners

happen 100% the way you want them not even your dog these days to do their

own things

nobody happens 100% the way you want them but that is not the problem the

problem is this one this one is not happening the way you want him to be

that is the problem isn't it if this one happened a hundred percent the way you

want him life around you whichever way it happens it's either a breather an

adventure yes it is either is him you know gently I mean the fragrance of the

jasmine on a gentle breeze or it's an adventure

there is no unpleasantness unpleasantness unpleasantness is

happening from within you never from outside of you know you don't know how

unpleasant my boss is no no he only causes at the most if he is he's causing

unpleasantness around you he cannot clock cause unpleasantness

within you isn't it this is your work this is completely your work isn't it

why would anybody cause unpleasantness to himself simply because we have chosen

to live and consciously just as a compulsive reaction to everything that's

happening around us for solutions we are looking into books we are looking into

all kinds of things we are always looking elsewhere never inward this

happened you know we're from Tennessee in Tennessee every family with some kind

of tradition has their own leather-bound large-sized Bible of their own they're

very proud of this it's so large you can barely open it at least children cannot

one day a school boy 12 years of age who is turning in

boarding school elsewhere came home and he found this huge book sitting there

and he opened it a few pages he opened a leaf which had been there in the book

for a long time it was dry it flew out and fell down then he called out loudly

mama come and see what I found she said what is it that you have found mama come

and see please come and see what you have what I have found

she said come tell me what have you found he said I think I found Adams

underwear

what is written there and how you perceive it is you even now even now how

we experience every situation is you what is happening around you and how you

experience is essentially you what is written there and what you make out of

it is essentially you just see in the name of caste creed religion race

nationalities how much form s we have created on the planet I'm sure every one

of these things initially started with the greatest intention of human

well-being definitely but just see what a mess we are simply because you can

find on other atoms underwear in a book you don't know what you will pick up so

there is a way where there is no room for misinterpretation that way is to

turn inward not to seek solutions outward for outward things you can seek

outward solutions for inner things you seek inner inner inner solutions turning

inward what does it mean right now as I lay a mentioned the only way you can

perceive is through five sin serpents seeing hearing smelling tasting touching

all these things are essentially outward bound see you can see what's around you

you cannot roll your eyeballs inward and scan yourself you can hear this but so

much activity in this body you cannot hear that if an ant crawls upon this

hand you can feel it so much blood flowing you cannot feel it in the very

nature of things sense organs are outward bad but everything that you

experience is happening from within this is the fundamental human predicament

only if you turn inward then you are into what you are referring to as India

studies otherwise India is a glorious chaos lot of Indians

miss it too much order in America once in a way they have to go out and get

lost and have a diarrhea at least yes of love if not enlightenment at least a

diarrhea you must eat the street food and

something must happen no no it need not be like that

it is just that it's very organic it is always depending upon touching the inner

genius within every human being it is not depending upon the organisation of

the outside which can be very chaotic for a person who has been born and

brought up in Western societies India could be bewildering and scary but you

will see Indian people are so much at home with the chaos because it's so

organic everything is happening because of the human being if one human being

stops being human for a moment everything collapses so you can't afford

to be mechanical about your life you have to be conscious otherwise you

cannot manage even simple things in home initially this was created consciously

over a period of time other things have happened unfortunate

Asian now this whole process of looking inward what does it mean can I can I

tell you my own story it's okay with you you becoming very serious it scares me

Shankaran Pillai came to United States he had an international driving licence

so he decided to take his car his son-in-law score out for a spin he's a

good driver if you have driven in India you better be a good driver otherwise

you're a dead driver

so very confidently he was driving then his wife called up on the phone and said

are you on i-75 he said yeah just watch out the traffic news is saying there is

a man driving at full speed in the opposite direction he said what the hell

one man hundreds of people are driving in the opposite direction but he's very

comfortable so what is turning inward me

this happened to me when I was just three four years of age suddenly one day

I realized I don't know anything I don't know anything means I don't know

anything at all if they give me a glass of water I do not know what is water eat

when I say I do not know what is water I know how to use it I know if I drink it

it will quench my thirst and so many other ways of using it but I do not know

what is water do you know what is water even today with all this scientific

exploration you must understand we have not understood a single atom in its

entirety we know how to use them but we do not know what it is even today it is

the only thing available in all the three states on the planet two-thirds of

the world the planet itself is water two-thirds of your body is water if you

want to look for life you look for water a drop of water means you think life is

possible so very basis of your existence on this planet but you do not know what

it is so they give me a glass of water I keep staring at this for 3-4 hours at a

stretch if I find a leaf I will stare at it five

six hours I sit up in my bed staring at the darkness for the whole

night My dear father being a physician started thinking I need psychiatric

evaluation

this boy is just tearing at something or the other

unblinking for hours on end he's lost it my problem is I look at this I do not

know what is this how to shift my attention to something else I'm just

talk to it paying attention to it in this condition they sent me to school I

went to school and my mother told me you must pay attention to the teacher I went

and paid attention the kind of attention they would have never received in their

life initially I understood the words that they were speaking after some time

I realized they're only making sounds I am the one who is making up the meanings

in my head even now see I am only making sounds because you presume you know

English language you are making up the meanings and language is a conspiracy

between two people yes suppose I start talking in a language that you do not

understand it will be just sounds even now I am only making sounds you are

making up the meanings and there is a codebook for this conspiracy called a

dictionary so I realize I'm making up all the meanings in my head and I

stopped making up the meanings just the sounds these teachers come and keep on

making sounds the problem with most people is the moment they cannot

understand they will not pay any attention please pay especially things

that you do not understand you must pay attention isn't it yes soon or what you

do not understand definitely needs your attention but generally the thing is the

moment you cannot understand you don't pay attention

turn on the Chinese channel just listen carefully with full

attention you will see things will happen to you so I just paid attention

not attaching any meanings to the sounds they were making after some time it

became so amusing these people going on making noises a big smile spread on my

face they were not amused at all I was very consistent with my education every

monthly test consistently I got six zeroes because I gave it empty because I

was made like this I come home in the evening evening study hours or two hours

in the evening you must study in the house if I open the book I stay like

this without reading a single word for the next two hours I will be just like

this all I need is just a dot on the paper just a tiny speck on the paper if

I put my attention to it the damn speck will take me somewhere I won't read a

single word nor will I look around nor will let me do anything simply after two

hours I'll be in the same speck I'm moving from that so my attention is like

this I'm paying attention to the teachers so you know I clearly remember

this when they every month they give this report card I don't know if you

still have it you still have that method of report cards when the report card

comes some children will be strutting around they are first second whatever

some will be crying they're terrified to go home because they got something in my

whole school days all those 12 years I never opened my report card the teachers

gave it to me I took it and gave it to my dad I thought this a transaction

between the two of them I never wanted to you know deep into

that and I never was retained in any class I always went on about four years

ago this school where I studied over four decades ago they came to invite me

for their one hundred and twenty-fifth anniversary of the school they were

inviting all the prominent eleven I they came to invite me

I said say please why me I was not just a not good student I was not even a

student don't don't take me back to the school they said no no our school has

produced federal ministers our school has produced film stars our school is

produce cricketing stars you are the only mistake you have to come I said ok

and I went I stood up to speak in this quadrangle the same oppressive buildings

I just look like this I suddenly saw this classroom and this whole situation

came back to me I was about 12 years of age as usual I am paying absolute

attention to the teachers I know the teachers past present and future but I

don't hear a word of what they're talking so that particular afternoon

this teacher is trying to get some response from me but I am these are

times when four three four five days I would not do a single word

because when you don't know anything what do you say what is there to say you

know nothing if you look at a leaf you don't understand that in entirety if you

look at anything you don't understand in its fullness so there is nothing to say

he tried thirty five forty minutes trying to get some response nothing came

out of me I was paying full attention to him

he came help me by the shoulder shook me violently and said you must either be

the divine or the devil I think you are the later till now till that moment my

problem was what is this what is that what is that what is that

but there was one clarity that this is me suddenly this man confused me about

this also I looked Am I devil am i divine what the hell am i

this was very clear that this was me but this man brought this confusion about

this also I tried to stare at myself it didn't work so I closed my eyes and sat

initially hours then it went into days once I close my eyes and sat I thought

in my experience I felt it's about 25-30 minutes when I open my eyes a whole

crowd of people around me Garland's around my neck people are trying to pull

my feet you know pulling legs is a part of Indian tradition and somebody wants

to know about his business somebody wants to know when his daughters will

get married I said how the hell did these people

manifest here where did they come from big crowd they said you have been

sitting here for 13 days in my experience I just sat there for 25-30

minutes I closed my eyes and I opened my eyes a big crowd why I'm telling you

this is life is in many more ways than the way you understand an experience

life through the five senses the five sense organs or enough for your survival

if you want to just survive these five things are fine but if you want to know

life these five sense organs are not good enough because this gives you only

a comparative perspective of everything what you know by comparison say you know

light only cause you know darkness isn't it the

nature of sense organs is such if you see this part of my hand you cannot see

the other part of my hand even if you take a grain of sand if you see one part

you can't see that the part if you're experiencing light you cannot experience

the darkness this is the nature of sense organs and everything is in comparison

for example let's say you're six feet tall now you stand like a tall man you

walk like a stall man you think like a tall man you feel like a tall man and

you are a tall man suppose you antenna he went to another society where

everybody's 8 feet tall now you stand like a short man walk like a short man

think like a short man feel like a short man and you are a short man so what you

know in comparison is only useful so survival in a particular situation it is

not a way of knowing life there are the dimensions of perception which a human

being has to activate you need to understand what is needed for survival

became active the moment you came out of your mother's womb all these things

became active you need to understand they were not active when you were in

your mother's womb otherwise you would know the whole human

physiology you didn't have to go to your medical school you know your eyes were

not open your perception was not open only after you came out it opened up

because without it you cannot survive if survival is all you seeking this is fine

but once you come as human somehow survival is not good enough isn't it

when survival is in question it's a big issue once it's taken care of it doesn't

mean anything isn't it so there is something within

you always longing for something more whoever you may be right now whatever

you may be right now you want to be something more than who you are right

now yes or no if that something more happens what what

you want something more if that something more happens what something

more it looks like you're looking for expansion okay we will make you the king

or queen of this planet now don't look at me hopefully you think I'll make such

a blunder suppose you become the king or queen of this planet

will you be fulfilled I am asking you you will look at the Stars

isn't it so there is something within you which wants to expand I am asking

how much expansion would settle you for good

how much expansion would settle you for good hello unlimited you're looking for

infinite expansion a fantastic desire but a hopeless method you're longing to

become boundless is wonderful see there is something within you which does not

like boundaries suppose i imprison you in a 5x5 cubicle right now you will feel

horribly imprisoned tomorrow we will liberate you into your ten by ten

cubicle you will feel wonderful for a day and again the same thing then we

will liberate you into 100 by 100 cubicle you will feel wonderful for

three days and again the same thing it doesn't matter where I set the boundary

the moment you can feel the boundary you want to break it yes there is something

within you which does not like boundaries there is something within you

constantly longing to become boundless you may be trying to settle this either

unconsciously or consciously if you are trying to settle it unconsciously you

think going out shopping will settle it it does first up for a moment again

tomorrow the same thing or reading a book will settle it or conquering and

something will settle it all this thing's settles you for some time and

again the same thing the moment you can feel the boundary again it's a problem

isn't it there is something with you longing to become boundless you will

need to understand this boundaries are essentially the nature of the physical

the physical exists in this universe the physical exists in creation only because

of defined boundaries I can call this a physical body only because there is a

defined boundary if I take away the boundaries of this body could you call

this physical if it is all over the place would it be physical only because

it stays within within a defined boundary its physical boundary is the

nature of physical existence there is something within you longing to go

beyond all boundaries so if you touch a dimension within you which is not

physical in nature only then this will settle is there such a thing

well let's understand this when you were born your body was only this much now

it's become this much how did it happen

how did it happen the food that you've eaten isn't it the

food that you've eaten so what you call as my body is a heap of food actually or

it's a piece of this planet physical is something that you've gathered over a

period of time yes physical is an accumulation what you

accumulate at the most you can claim it is mine it cannot be you isn't it it can

be yours it can never ever be you it can be mine it can never ever be me isn't it

what you gather can belong to you cannot become you but right now you are so

identified with things that you have gathered not only in the body in the

mind your mind is a heap of impressions that you've gathered your mind is a

gathering your body is a gathering both are accumulations between these two

things where are you a dimension beyond the physical which is the basis of all

this if you eat a piece of bread it transforms it into such a fantastic

machine that we call as human mechanism this human body is the most

sophisticated technology on the planet do you agree with me the iPhone users I

am asking you

because I see you so deeply engrossed in it you seem to think it's more than I

now this is the highest level of technology found on the planet

everything else is a small imitation of this isn't it and with what are you

manufacturing this with a piece of bread with the carrot with an apple with

whatever you eat just about anything that you eat even if you eat the so

called junk food even that is becoming wonderful technology so there is an

intelligence here there is a competence here which is capable of transforming a

piece of bread into such a highly sophisticated machine if only if you had

access to this intelligence consciously you would live your life magically not

miserably for sure so how often do you touch this every human being touches it

at some moment in his life if you can consciously touch it definitely you

would stay in touch with it isn't it if you accidentally touch it then it

happens accidentally most beautiful moments in people's lives unfortunately

are generally accidental people come until Satguru I met such a wonderful

person as a staff why are you not that wonderful person why is it that you

meeting such wonderful people if you are feeling absolutely wonderful anything

that you look at looks wonderful isn't it yes or no have you noticed this when

you are happy you appreciate everything when you're miserable everything is a

whole creation is a rubbish yes or no so this possibility is not in the Himalayan

cave this possibility is not geographically located in India this

possibility is here with every one of us whether we turn

inward or we find our squander our life outward that's all the choice you have

because the experience of life the quality of your life is right now

determined not by what kind of clothes you wear what kind of car you parked

outside what kind of home you live in this moment what is the nature of your

experience is it immensely pleasant or unpleasant or see-sawing between the two

that determines the quality of your life

if you if you have any questions is that a lot I'm sorry are there questions or I

think I've stopped right on time

just

please take the microphone

Satguru thank you for being here again in Atlanta

it's a pleasure back then just by accident I run into one of your inner

engineering programs when it was in a small scale and he really touched me in

a way that it transformed my life and made this trip from far away from

Argentina worthwhile and I would love for everybody to have that experience

even if it's a single moment my question to you is so wonderful everything that

comes from you and yet how not to miss the immensity of what has been offered

thank you

say the biggest mistake that the larger part of humanity has made is they think

all the great things are up there somewhere when actually you're not even

capable of knowing which is up and down you you you know the planet is round yes

you're sitting in a round planet not even on the North Pole

you're Argentina being in the southern hemisphere you should have fallen off

long time ago at least we got a foothold up here and the damn thing is spinning

on top of it so if you look up you're invariably looking up in the wrong

direction yes are you capable of knowing in this

cosmos which is up and which is down is it somewhere mark this side up are you

capable of knowing I'm asking you you you are incapable of knowing what is up

and down no such thing exists for convenience we will make this up we'll

make this down for understanding between you and me but in reality you really do

not know which is up and down which is forward and backward which is east and

which is west we made up all these things yes or no only for communication

and understanding between us it is not a reality so great things are not up there

if you want to do fantastic things to yourself

you don't have to do some feat simple things you just have to learn how to sit

first of all sitting is not a simple thing you have to learn how to breathe

how to hold this body because as I said this is the most sophisticated machine

on the planet every little thing that you do he does its own things we can do

a live shall we do a little experiment with you

after all it's a university we can experiment with you just do one thing

take these two hands keep all the five fingers together

please sit facing down upon your lap upon your time all the five fingers

should be together all fine don't do it yet just watch me you will do this with

eyes closed just breathing slightly deeper than normal just as you normal

breath slightly deeper slightly exaggerated so that you will notice it

and as you're doing it I will say switch when I say switch without breaking the

rhythm of your breathing just turn this over this way continue to breathe when I

say switch again get back here in these two positions of the hand something

about your breath will change you must notice how the air fills up into your

lung or where is the maximum expansion and contraction just notice this

something about your breath will change and you must tell me what changed okay

for you to notice this for you to be able to notice this one thing is your

spine should be erect that's not possible if you've been

trained to sit on the American cushions you can only sit like this I like this

chair I think the chapel is making sure everybody's awake here and your spine

should be erect your eyes should be closed your mind should be focused on

the breath if you do these three things you'll distinctly notice this all five

fingers together close your eyes breathe slightly deeper than normal and notice

where the maximum expansion and contraction is

switch

switch again

which is open your eyes there's some difference between the two

can somebody tell me when it's this way where is it this way just the reverse is

happening when you hold it this way the maximum expansion and contraction is

happening in the lower lobe of the lung so you will notice it in the diaphragm

region if you turn it around it moves into the middle lobe of the lung so you

will notice higher up in the chest just to one breath and see it is noticeable

is it so so just turning your hand over the very

way you breathe is altering itself it's not just about the breath the very way

the fundamental life energies are functioning is altering itself simply

because you turn your hand over how many times in a day unconsciously are you

doing this whatever anybody ask in India this means no no no no no no now you're

setting your energies into turmoil and hoping to be peaceful life doesn't work

like that unless you do the right things right

things will not happen to you now what is being referred to as inner

engineering or what is largely known as yoga when I use the word yoga I hesitate

and avoid using this word in United States because yoga means they think

something Zumba and some gymnastic stuff

like we get in India we get all your be great and see great movies just like

that you get some things like that from India now one dimension of yoga is like

if you remember in 60s and 70s when the television came first on top of your

home there would be an aluminum contraption now it's become much more

sophisticated otherwise there would be a live

tubes hanging like this you are just watching your favorite program suddenly

your television goes boop boop boop then you run up on the terrace and pull it

like this it won't work pull it like that it won't work you get it there

properly suddenly the whole world pours into your sitting room this is called an

antenna this you are who you are you know that you exist only because you

perceive yes sir they suppose you're sitting here and you fell asleep for

sure I will disappear I am the first one if you go a little more like that

everybody will disappear if you really get hung even you disappear in your

experience the existence is obliterated isn't it you need to understand you even

know that you exist only because you're perceiving so what you perceive is what

you have become there's also other nuances to that how

you perceived what you made out of it but essentially what you perceived is

what you have become if your perception is gone it's gone your life is gone

isn't it now perception how to enhance the perception

should be the only goal because if you enhance your perception your life will

enhance itself how profoundly do you perceive this life so this system is a

phenomenal thing if you learn to sit right if you just adjust it right now

you can download the whole cosmos into this you heard of the concept called the

third eye why the third eye is so important is these two eyes or sense

perceptions almost 30 to 35 percent of your vision is by memory do you know

this if you had no memory you would not be able to see a lot of things

these two eyes have passed hanging in them they are always blurred by the past

if you look at this what looks nice what doesn't look nice what looks right what

doesn't look wrong what looks wrong what is okay what is not okay what is

beautiful what is not beautiful everything is by memory if your memory

is taken taken away these two eyes become half blind at least one-third

line for sure so in these two eyes fast is always hanging that's why we say and

you see something like this okay that's your karma that you are doing that's

your memory bank which is doing this a third eye is that which has not invested

in memory which is simply seeing things as they are this doesn't mean you have

to crack your forehead okay it is not a physical art it is not subject to the

memory bank that you have gathered simply seeing everything the way it is

your ability to handle life well simply depends on how clearly you see it isn't

it yes or no right now you cannot see anything clearly because 35% of the

actual physical vision he is dependent upon the memory that you have but

gathering strong prejudices gathering strong emotional identifications your

ability to see is gone almost 90 percent not even 10 percent of life people see

the way it is they see it the way they think it is that means you are existing

in a psychological reality not in an existential reality what that means is

you are just lost in your own creation you have no contact with the creator's

creation if you experienced the creation the way it is it is the most phenomenal

thing they cannot be anything more and we need not be anything more because

it's if you spend a million years to still configure the sophistication

and the intricacy of what it is but people are bored when when you can't

figure an atom in a lifetime or ten lifetimes you can't figure one atom

people are bored because they're lost in their own petty creation they are

existing in their own psychological creations psychological existence not in

the real existence life is here what's in your mind is madness isn't it it's

time you step down into the creator's creation I am saying step down because

your creation is higher of course

otherwise why would you do it well there so it's time every human being dedicated

a little bit of time towards this it's being offered in Atlanta if you wish to

take it otherwise in your own home if you want to do there are tools being

given out because of the generosity of a few people that these things are

available or it's available online to start with but every human being should

start the process of turning inward otherwise when moment of death comes all

you will have is belief systems to hang on to and everything that you believe

everything that you think matters to you right now will not matter to you if the

next moment is death and I'm sorry to remind you but anyway you will die it's

not my wish I will bless you with a long life but anyway you will die

is it okay you need to understand this is the fundamental of turning inward

that you realize that your motto you realize that you have come with an

expiry date you realize you're racing towards it if you remind yourself of

this how can you not look at life more profoundly how can you only because you

think you are here forever you can forget about it it doesn't

matter what you think you think you come to the top you think you're going to go

home you think you're going to this place of that place

but as far as your body is concerned it is walking straight to the grave yes or

no you think so many things this is all your nonsense but the reality is your

body is walking straight to the grave not missing the step yes or no will

bless you with a long life but if you understand and if you constantly

conscious that I am mortal there is no way you cannot look at

deeper dimensions of life you naturally will thank you very much

For more infomation >> Sadhguru 2018 Meditation - From now on Manage Your SELF - Duration: 1:14:51.

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Man Kills Self Amid Burnsville Standoff - Duration: 0:32.

For more infomation >> Man Kills Self Amid Burnsville Standoff - Duration: 0:32.

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Self Running, DiaMagnetic Motor. - Duration: 12:54.

What you're looking at is a rotor composed of thin slices of pyrolytic graphite and

aluminum, rotating around an arrangement of ferrite and

Neodymium magnets. Yes, this really is spinning without any outside interference or influence, as near as I can tell.

Why do I say that? Well, because I'm holding the rotor by a string.

So you first have to rule out the possibility that subtle movements from my hand are preventing the rotor from

stabilizing and coming to a stop between the magnetic fields, or

inadvertently causing the rotor to spin.

Here's a simple example of how you can affect an object, simply by thinking about it.

If you've never tried this before, I would encourage you to.

It's an interesting lesson in how you can affect things around you by what you think about, without realizing it.

Take a simple washer, tie it to a string, and draw an addition sign on a piece of paper. Pick up the string and

steady the washer on plus sign. As you lift the string it'll begin spinning on its own. In this case, counterclockwise.

Try to hold your hand completely still. Begin picturing the washer spinning clockwise around the plus sign.

After a few moments the washer will begin changing its directional spin.

You're seeing this up close, so it looks like I'm trying to spin washer on purpose, but in actuality, my fingers

don't feel like they're moving at all.

Your brain sends tiny electrical impulses through your fingers that causes what you're picturing in your mind to manifest, by subtle movements

you don't even feel yourself making.

Now picture the washer going up and down, and then side to side.

It's much easier to affect something as small as a washer. The rotor is bigger and heavier,

so it would be a bit more difficult to do this with something this size. I

Tested this assembly several times. Each time I tried picturing the rotor changing direction to see if I could be

accidentally causing the rotation. It always continued, in the same counterclockwise direction.

Which is the direction in which it should be turning, based on how I designed it.

Speaking of which, here's a brief description of the materials and principles involved in the assembly. The rotor is composed of pyrolytic graphite

Which is diamagnetic, meaning

It is repelled by a magnetic field. However that repulsion is very very light.

And it's also composed of aluminum, which is paramagnetic. So it's very slightly attracted to a magnetic field. Now

the reaction of these types of magnetic materials to a magnetic field is so subtle that it's difficult to even test the design like this.

Which is why I used the method of suspending the rotor from a string.

The stator assembly is composed of ferrite magnets capped with neodymium magnets.

They are alternately placed north-south, facing up. If you've seen my videos on magnetic spin vortex,

the alignment of the magnets may make more sense to you.

The spins of the magnets arc from the center point of the magnet.

So I'm focusing the spins from one side of the magnets on the pyrolytic graphite and aluminum on the rotor. By using the larger

Ferrite magnets below the shorter neodymium magnets, I'm concentrating the other side of the spins away from the rotor.

They are drawn more toward the ferrite magnet than the diamagnetic or paramagnetic materials.

When the thought first occurred in me of building a magnetic motor years ago, the initial image that came into my imagination

was that of two arrangements of magnets shaped like windmills.

One with its north poles facing out, and the other with its south poles facing out. To be used as a rotor and stator assembly.

This was before I had any understanding of the complexities of magnetic field interaction.

Whenever I thought about diamagnetic materials, the idea of the windmill would occur to me again though.

If you saw my older video on the pyrolytic graphite rotor, you saw this evidenced by the designs

I attempted in that video.

I wrapped magnets with their north poles facing each other, in an attempt to use a technique John Bedini used to focus the magnetic field

in a slightly less arced path.

What I realized later, is that the pole of a magnet

has to be in a pretty direct path to the face of the pyrolytic graphite, to even slightly move it.

It's less about the arrangements of magnets to induce spin, more about the angling of the pyrolytic graphite.

By placing it with the face angle with one side slightly further away than the other side, it

gives the a path of directional rotation.

The technique I used in the other video would have caused the rotor to have to rotate through multiple flux loops.

Which is why it didn't work.

This design works in an even flow of north to south

alternating magnetic fields. The graphite is equally repelled by north or south magnetic fields.

So it's irrelevant which pole you use.

However, facing all poles north or south up would create cluttered fields of flux loops.

Orienting them the way I did in this design, gives the rotor a smooth series of magnetic spins to ride.

By angling the aluminum and graphite the way I did, the rotor glides the spins, similar to how a windmill rides the wind.

Or, at least that's the theory I'm postulating for this design. If you put one together for yourself, feel free to tweak the design.

I'm sure there are numerous ways to assemble one of these.

I Couldn't find a low friction bearing capable of handling the subtleties of pyrolytic graphite, so the string was one way of testing the design.

I'm sure there are others

If I allowed this to keep spinning long enough though,

it would eventually spin so tightly that it would cease rotation,

because the forces involved aren't very powerful. So a configuration like this couldn't be used to do work.

But that's not the point. If it really works the way I believe it does, and the principles are studied,

it's possible that there may be a way to upscale the design using different materials.

And with the right materials, it may be possible to build an assembly based on the principles that does perform work.

Which is why I always share my research. The more heads you have working out a problem, the quicker a solution will present itself.

Before I put this assembly together, I tested some different materials

To determine the correct combination of materials to use in the final design. These are some of the materials that I experimented with.

I also decided to demonstrate the setup with candles around the stator.

Simply so no one thinks I'm using a fan or blower to induce spin in the rotor.

It's really not a bad idea to demonstrate your builds this way regardless, as there are quite a few hoaxes out there.

For the skeptics, there is nothing under the table.

And as an added bonus to my viewers who actually watch my videos to the end,

I put together this simple assembly to show that it's actually not my fingers that were inducing rotation in the rotor earlier.

If you're wondering if this will keep spinning perpetually, no it will eventually wind so tight that it will stop, as I mentioned earlier.

The forces involved are too weak to overcome the resistance of the string, once it's too tightly wound.

Here's the interesting thing though, if you've ever wound something up on a string before,

Tou know that once it reaches a point that you can't wind it any tighter it unwinds.

And then it'll wind and unwind until it eventually comes to a stop. The rotor didn't do that though.

It ran for about 20 minutes,

started to back up in the other direction for a few seconds, and then stopped.

In other words, the force of the magnetic fields in the stator were strong enough to hold the angled pyrolytic graphite

and aluminum in the rotor in place, and prevent it from unwinding. I'd say that's pretty significant.

Feel free to build one of these and test it for yourself. I listed the materials I used earlier.

It's a pretty simple design, and easy to put together.

You don't have to use the exact size and types of materials I did. The principles will work regardless.

As long as you include stronger neodymium magnets in your design.

Thanks for watching and do great things!

For more infomation >> Self Running, DiaMagnetic Motor. - Duration: 12:54.

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#CapableClub and Why 2018 is My Year of Shameless Self Celebration [CC] - Duration: 14:08.

Hello hello from me and my doggo.

This is Marlow.

Hi bud!

Camera shy.

Where's the squirrel?

It's cold in my house. It's cold outside of my house. This is Canada, it's normal,

but we're all complaining about it because it's the first really big cold snap.

Anyway.

It's been a while since I talked to you since I made my first video.

A lot has happened since I made that video.

I went on a huge motorcycle trip that was awesome.

I quit the band.

And I got a lot of energy for a little while, and I got excited, because I thought that

I was going to be kicking my chronic fatigue,

and feeling a lot better, and I even worked out for a week. I went to a gym.

And then it all kicked back in, and I got you know, more sick and more tired

than I've been in a while.

And that was tough 'cause hope is so nice,

and having it dashed is tough.

But that's okay. I rebounded from that.

I thought that maybe I could go back to doing some acting, because I found some makeup that

was supposed to be corn-free and grain-free, but no luck there.

So far I've been reacting to it a bit. So back to no makeup for me,

and back to no acting for me.

That's right. It's so sad. But that's okay, 'cause you don't a ct and you're fine right?

You don't even like the camera and you're having a pretty good life right?

So it can be done.

Anyway, there has been a lot of stuff that I have kind of given up or lost out on

since we made our last video. I quit the band because I've been having some

sort of niggly feelings in the back of my mind about the name for about a year.

Just, sort of like, is this name okay? And then I started actually researching the name,

or what it means, and I realized that I wasn't comfortable with it,

and I was the only one who wasn't so I was kind of the odd person out.

So I decided I needed to leave the band.

And I've still been working on finishing up the record that I did with them,

but I'm not going to go forward and do any more touring,

or write any more new music with them.

Doing all that touring...

and having a rehearsal every week, and making music with other people

really lit the fire in me, and made me realize that my first love -

which was music - was something that I still really, really wanted to do.

So I'm just going to do it. On my own.

And 2018 is going to be me learning how to do that,

because I... so far don't know how, but I'm going to learn 'cause I can learn all sorts of stuff.

And I'm also going to do some writing in 2018, and hopefully get paid for that.

And yeah! just gonna sort it out.

The reason that I haven't been making more videos...

I have tons of footage to share with you, but I...

I haven't really wanted to talk about my illness very much.

because I realized that it's kind of been getting me down a lot,

and it's starting to get me down in like a bit of a heavier, deeper way.

And I was kind of trying to hone in on what exactly it was about it

that was... that has been getting to me, and what I can do to fix it,

and I realized that every single day,

I'm having to tell myself that I can't do things.

And I'm having to say if I do certain things they'll make me feel bad,

or if I do certain things they'll be dangerous and I'll be at risk.

So there's a lot of "I can't". A lot of "I'm incapable", "I'm unable", "I don't like that",

"I am afraid of that", "I don't feel safe when", "that's dangerous ", "that makes me feel bad"...

There's - that's a lot of stuff. That's a lot of like, negative stuff that I'm having to say

certainly in my brain every day, but also I'm having to say that out loud a lot.

And I think that certainly the thoughts that we have are powerful but saying things out loud

especially things that we say about ourselves to other people -

There's a lot of power in those words. And that's not really something that I can stop doing

because me saying these things is important.

It's all stuff that is not obvious to anybody else so I have to explain it and mention it

just to get by, just to get through the day. And that's all fine. It's fine.

I'm glad that I'm at a point where I am able to vocalize my needs,

however there is a cost to that, and the cost is that...

even though I feel like I have tons of reasons to be a confident person,

and to feel like a capable person,

saying over, and over again every day that "I'm not capable"...

well it makes me start to feel that way.

And so I've been realizing lately that my confidence on some level

is really suffering. I think that's kind of the main reason why.

It's a very practical reason. I'm just saying "I can't" about myself so much.

And I can't stop doing that, so I'm looking for a practical solution.

And the practical solution to that is the most obvious one,

which is that I have to start saying the opposite of it, and I have to start saying it

out loud, to other people as embarrassing as that may be.

Because you know I can have all the faith in myself in the world, and I could say this stuff in my head,

but if I'm not saying it out loud then it doesn't have that same power

that all the negative stuff I'm saying out loud does.

So, it's a weird one to commit myself to because we live in a society where women certainly,

are not encouraged to speak about our capabilities.

You know, we're given the impression that if we do so we're going to appear vain,

and full of ourselves, and cocky, and be giant braggarts,

and nobody likes an "overconfident female".

You know.

So, it's a weird one to just sort of wrap my head around as something that is okay to do

but frankly, I'm at a point in my mental health where I'm noticing that I'm having some mental effects.

I'm having I'm having a lack of faith in in myself.

And if that continues that's no good, because that's what causes depression,

and that's what causes a lot of mental health issues -

when you can't trust yourself, and you can't believe in yourself.

And for me, I have a corn allergy, and that means that I can't take most medications

because most medications have corn in them (and I really do mean most).

So if I were to get depressed, antidepressants might not be on the table for me.

And that's scary. That's not a good thing. So just like any other health condition,

I want to do everything I can to avoid it, to avoid getting sick in any way.

So I'm just trying to be creative. I'm trying to be proactive, and this is my solution.

So everybody! 2018 is going to be the year of music, and writing, friendship, and

love, and adventures, and all that great stuff - but it's also going to be a year

of me expressing hopefully without shame

...things that I'm capable of. Things that make me feel good.

Things that make me feel safe.

Things that I feel confident about, whether they're huge or tiny.

You know, some days it's just gonna be "Hey, I got out of bed and did the dishes".

Other days it's gonna be "Hey, I wrote a song".

You know, all sorts of stuff. Who knows, I don't know. I can't tell the future!

But I'm going to do it, and if you don't like it you can feel free not to pay any attention to me.

But I'm good to be vocal every day about something awesome that I'm doing.

And that shouldn't have to be embarrassing but it is,

and it feels pretty... pretty childish, very like, "Look at me! Look at me! Look what I can do!"

but who cares, you know. I've got to do what I've got to do to protect myself and protect my health,

and if everyday I'm having to go "Look at me! Look at what I CAN'T do",

then I sure as hell better be also saying to balance that out,

"Look at me! Look what I CAN do!" or else everything is just way too out of whack,

and that's what creates more illness and unhappiness.

So there you go.

I don't know how I'm going to tell you. I might do it on here, but more likely

since it's a daily thing I guess I'll just do it on my Instagram.

So if you want to join in because, please feel free like, whether or not you have chronic illness,

sometimes it's just really nice to say, "Hey I'd like to say that I'm capable of doing something".

I mean, we should all get to say that sometimes you know?

We should all get to toot our own horns, and be able to do that without you know, caring what other people think.

So... a year from now I think that my confidence will be much better,

and back up to a level that feels good, and healthy, and enables me to do even more.

So, oh yeah. My Instagram: @kirsten.dahlin.nolan

I don't know. I'll put it under this video, and I'll do a hash tag. We'll call it...

"Capable Club". #capableclub okay? We can all be in the Capable Club together.

So please, if you want to I don't know, hang out online you can #capableclub me.

We can all do stuff together, and collaborate on stuff, and like, I don't know -

congratulate each other for being alive and being able to feel good about stuff sometimes.

So, that's it.

That's my second video. I will see you guys again sometime.

I will get back to these videos and to my original purpose with them. I just need to pump myself up a bit

more first, and then I'll be able to talk about you know, being sick and stuff all the time again

but first I just sort of... I need a little more pep in my step and all that jazz.

So. See ya when I see ya. Bye!

Marlow, what are you capable of?

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