Hi, if you're watching this video, congratulations, you just completed the hardest step towards
completing your new years resolution.
Getting help!
Who the hell is this guy I bet you're asking
My name is Jake Robinson, CEO of New Year's Resolution Services, otherwise known as Nyrs,
which if you think about it sounds like if you say New Years really fast
My father, Drake Robinson, had this company passed down to him from my grandfather, Hake
Robinson, who founded the company in 1908.
And now that my father has retired, the company has now been down passed to me, and I couldn't
be happier.
Here at the New Years Resolution Services, we are here to help you complete any resolution
you've made.
And we mean any resolution, from the more basic resolutions, like this one
Hi my New Years resolution is to lose weight, can you help me with that
Sure can!
To more specific resolutions like this
My resolution is to kill this man
Sounds great!
We can totally help you out with that!
Thank you so much!
No problem!
You can clearly see that all kinds of resolutions are taken care of here, so there's no need
to be worried about if your resolution will be accepted here or not.
Now I bet you're wondering, "How does this guy, get all this work done, there's
just one guy there", well actually, it's not just me.
There are hundreds of employees here at the New Year's Resolution Services that are
very qualified, and will get the job done just how you want it.
We have an 100% success rate, which means your resolution is gonna get completed whether
you like it or not!
Our employees work round the clock to make sure you follow through with your resolutions!
For example this was a customer who wanted to quit smoking for his resolution, take a
look!
Hi, uh, my resolution for this year is to finally stop smoking.
Ah that's so great, we'll get you the help you need right away!
Wow thank you so much!
So how is this gonna work?
So pretty much, I'll assign you one of our lovely employees to kind of a keep an eye
on you, check in with you, just to keep you smoking habits in check.
So just head on home and you should see around!
Sounds great, thanks again!
Okay I'll just have one last cigarette, to get it all out of my system and then I'll
be done with it.
oh uh yeah right, thank you
okay, I'm just gonna have this one last cigarette and be done with it
Sir I really don-
AHH what are you doing in my bed?!
Stopping you from ruining your new year's resolution
Yeah but I- alright whatever I can't believe it's come to this, but
I guess this is what I have to do
I advise that you don't do th-
WHAT THE HELL MAN?!
What?
I- I have to get out of here
finally whyyyyyyyy!
So, as you can clearly see, our methods are quite effective.
Now I know, I know what you're thinking.
Gosh, with methods this effective, the price has gotta be crazy high
Well actually you don't have to pay cent here.
Instead you get selected by entering a video with a unique ad idea for the company.
And if we like it, you get to use our services for free.
Take this entry video for an example
New Year's Resolution services is so great that they even got me to eat vegetables
Sign up for new year's resolution services today!
Now that's a winner right there.
So what are you waiting for?
Send in your entries to this email and get your new years resolution done the right way
here at the New Year's Resolution Services.
See you all next year
I'm sorry Jake, this just doesn't make the cut.
Yeah but-
Jake, it didn't make the cut okay yeah, okay…
Hey Jake
Yeah boss?!
Just wondering what was your resolution anyways?
Oh well uh it was to get my ad accepted
Oh, wow I had no idea, Jake WHAT A STUPID RESOLUTION GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE
Okay, next year?
NO NO

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