Hey guys, what's going on?
I'm in Hamburg, Germany
one of the most beautiful cities in Germany, I would say
Definitely a city which I spend a lot of time with
and I'm meeting someone I made friends with yesterday
a guy from Bulgaria living in Copenhagen, Denmark
so this the..
I actually don't know how this part of the city is called
close to the train station
where all the stores are
like the shopping malls, shopping streets
and by the way
there is probably the best Vietnamese restaurant
in Hamburg
it's called "Quan Do" (Red Restaurant)
over there
I'm just not hungry yet so
maybe I'll grab a snack later over there
alright
so he told me he's in Roncalli grand cafe
never been there
I'm normally not in this part of the town
because it's just crowded it's hard to get a parking spot
and I actually don't know what to do here
apart from buying things
so let's see what's going on in this cafe now
speaking of buying things..
on a Sunday in Germany, everything is closed
so you cannot actually buy things
you can't go in to any stores
because everything is closed
but there's still a couple of people here
I mean, what are they all doing?
they're probably coming from the.. yeah
they're probably going somewhere traveling
and these guys over there
are having some kind of a party
I just saw a gigantic stormtrooper, check this out!
these are the guys who cannot aim
It's pretty cool!
I loved playing lego when I was a kid
I actually still like it
feels a bit like a ghost town here
oh cool, we have double-decker buses
in Germany, I didn't know
Stadtrundfahrt is like a sight seeing truck
alright, that's the cafe
Roncalli grand cafe
looks fancy
Hey guys! You're going live on Facebook? Over there.
just going there to.. -That's cool!
Alright, so we're live from Hamburg, from a..
Roncalli grand cafe
Hey guys! -So who wants to start?
Who are you man? -I'm Till
I'm a vlogger, I vlog for Vietnamese audience
I live in Vietnam
I work in.. I have an IT start-up
like an education startup, right now I'm here
I'm excited to meet you guys
I have no idea who you are
I'm Yan, I'm actually a consultant for a..
start-up. I used to live in Berlin for 6 years
It was really interesting to hear his story goes,
you know, here's this guy he's pretty confident
he's doing a lot of stuff
and you'd think that he had it all figured out
I like.. I don't know, 2 years ago I started
to actually having panic attacks at work because
pressure's pretty.. it was too much
Like in Berlin, I was working for a startup that got
a lot of money and I was the interim head of product
for that company
so investors wanted more and faster and
I was the person to deliver
because I'm in the development team
Yeah, that was the first time in my life that I
actually experienced panic attacks and..
anxiety so over the course of 2 years that
you know, I ended up in the hospital because
of an injury in the neck, & almost ended up in a wheelchair
so it got only more problematic and my
head was spinning with all these worries and anxiety
and then when I realized a friend of mine
was actually taking a lot of money from me without
me realizing, I decided it would be a good idea
to tell that person, "Hey, f*ck the money but
we can still be friends and try to figure it out.'
and then take magic mushrooms
from that person because you know, it's fun
so that was the beginning of the journey
to anxiety and panic attacks.
How does it feel to have a bad attack?
is it something that, like, you can understand like..
I'm having a panic attack, or is it like you're feeling
I'm out of control like I don't have panic attacks
but I'm sure many people..
Yeah, so in the beginning it was a...
It was not that strong
like when I'm at work, it was more like
your heart's racing, you're sweating, and you're like
you feel like you're losing control
but it's gone after maybe 10 minutes or something
but some people have it for I don't know,
years, days, decades and it's
super physically strong and it feels like you're dying
so you cannot relate to this
if you've never felt it before, it's..
hard to explain
So.. what about the mushrooms?
Yeah, I can only recommend
doing that but only with a professional person on the side
that can guide you through the experience but
I mean in the end I'm super thankful that it happened
because like the mushrooms opened up a part of me that
was closed down. My emotions were
closed down and I never felt them
so they actually were the key to
my personal growth and journey
What are some other steps that you took and like, did you
start reading books or meditating, what did you do?
so in the beginning I thought you know..
I'm sick that it must be some reason why
I'm experiencing this so I was researching a lot of a
about you know, food and nutrition
and I've read this book and I thought, ok if I
change my nutrition. You know my brain
would work better and I won't experience this
anymore. So I tried to find the reason why
in the external without understanding that the
reason or the solution is inside of me
and the day I decided to
take responsibility for that
and accept that I have a problem with
my money, that was the day when things changed.
So I started to you know, find a therapist
I started to read up on anxiety and panic attacks
there was a time before that where I didn't
accept my new reality
and that's something that I would
like to share with everyone, if you are in
that position, then just accept
that it's such a new reality and try to move forward and try to
do the things that will get you in a journey to
get better.
What do you think about that?
I'm not putting you on the spot, I just..
I never really struggled with my mental health
I even did the, I never normally meditate
I did the Vipassana meditation retreat
I went through that without any problems
so I think I'm good
How did that work for you?
I also did the Vipassana. -For 10 days?
It was easy, it was 10 days I really enjoyed.
Not needing to talk, not being able to talk
and after the first few days..
the world come down and like all that, what I..
I think what I got rid of was kinda the anxiety of
failing my business, that was the good part.
Everybody has that
and there's still something left but most of it
went after these 10 days.
So tell me more about the, I actually don't know what you do..
What do you do? What is your story?
Ok, my story quick is, I'm a
computer scientist
I studied 5 years in Germany. Computer Science
and at the same time I had a company
where we worked developed software products
for the people.
And upon graduation..
I had this crisis of me where
I don't know If I would actually..
if I'm meant to be in an officer in Germany
and then I had this diploma
and like wow what am I gonna do now?
and then we closed the company and then I went to Asia
and that was five years ago
What do you mean? You just got a ticket and...
I just got a one way ticket to Bangkok
I needed to built something more meaningful
I was trying to find the next steps and that took some time..
because I had to learn marketing
I started a marketing agency
tried to learn as much as I could in 4 years
and after these 4 years..
then I actually started to build something
that has meaning now
which is a language learning chatbot
and that's out now in Vietnam
it's gaining traction slowly..
and that's where I put most of my time in
and that's what gives me meaning in life
and it took me a long time to find out
By the meaning
where do you find the meaning in this product?
because living in Vietnam, I know that most
people try to learn English but
at mediocre at best
cause it's still hard, it's disconnected from
all the sound system.
We have a lot of things to share
with the Asian world, the Asian world has
a lot of things to share with us
and there need to be a connection
like, and I wanna help the people make THAT connection
A friend of mine, Nick. I don't know if you're watching, Nick.
But I love that you gave me this perspective-wise
I was going through a breakup
with a girl and..
I'm like, I know it's going to be some
not so pleasant timing and
he was like, 'Dude, you're a freakin' dreamer.'
You have really high goals, and dreams..
a lot of pain you go through is
the investment, it's the price that you wanna pay
if you want to live this life
so think about it deeper down your feeling down
you're feeling in pain
you're feeling emotionally kinda crushed
this is your upfront payment
for the dream you're gonna live
it is just part of the process
you probably won't reach the goal
but the thing is..
how much are you gonna grow as a character
ok. -Through this process
So in the end it's important to understand
that your thoughts and your emotions
or maybe your thought, your thoughts are..
it's not you, you know. You can...
disconnect from your thoughts
see that is something happening to you but your
emotions are actually
your emotions are actually an important part of yourself
telling you, at least the negative emotions,
that something's not right
so most people when they experience strong negative emotions
they'd rather pop a pill, rather than get over with it
than you know.. just accepting these feelings
trying to understand what's behind these feelings
so, to me, anxiety and panic attacks are pure life force
it's life force telling me
'Dude, you're going into the wrong direction'..
and I don't want you to be there..'
Anxiety, I mean, it's a strong negative emotion..
and you when you feel it, it's...
not pleasant
but when you try to get behind the feeling.. try
to ask yourself, like 'what is this that feeling trying to tell me?'
your subconscious is always giving you images
of what is going on...like a treatment and you'd
you're always aiming to learn something from
when you are able to steer your life in that other direction
you take decisions, maybe getting new apartment, maybe..
getting a new job
or quit that relationship that's toxic to you
there's always something
that is causing these emotions..
so I think it's more about getting..
in touch with yourself and
listening to your inner voice
and when this whole shit happened, I just..
went back in with my parents
cause I felt so shitty I couldn't do anything anymore
but that was the worst thing to do because.. yes
I felt safe for a little while but
I was also dependent on them
So what about you? How do you deal with the negative self-thoughts?
I don't have that so much anymore
and the reason for this is, I think because I found
something I wanna work for
and then I'm breaking down the steps towards
that goal and every time I met the step
it's easier for example, I wanna be healthy
I wanna die healthily, that's one of my goals, right?
Late and healthy
I just gotta go to the gym 2 times a week
that's it. It's not more complicated than that so..
I will just go one day
and every week and the 2nd day and then the 3rd day
and it's done
if I wanna get this product
I just need to put in time
so for example, if I'm developing a software I just
sit down and I just develop and I don't judge
how much I can get done. i just
put in the action so...
people confuse the effect and the action
they want to have the result, they want to have the effect
like being rich, having a product
like having big strong body
but what is more important that you should focus on
what are they doing, the action in front of it
I mean, I'm just curious of you guys in terms of some people say
you need to see things from a positive point of view and
people say, you have to be realistic
where do you think is the balance?
Then being realistic is also being negative because
you are always looking at reality from
a perspective of your experience
of your own past and you never can
you don't know what's happening tomorrow, maybe
tomorrow is the third world war, maybe tomorrow is
Trump got shot. I don't know
You know, but we can't foresee the future
and why would I be pessimistic about the future
if I can also be positive about my future -Yeah
It's pretty simple, if I can choose between positive or neutral..
I'd choose positive because it feels better
I love these guys, they're so funny!
and so insightful.
Alright, back to the car and then
to the park.
where some friends meet.
so before I visit my friends in the park
I'll get some food from the Turkish restaurant
and I have my plastic box
so we don't waste too much trash
that's what proper Germans do!
So this is the first kebab guy in Hamburg
1983!
That's cool!
It actually looks pretty good, so that's around
4.20 euros.. 5 dollars
and a thousand dong, it's not that bad
He will become a subscriber. What's your name?
Dennis. -Dennis -Yes
So Dennis is gonna subscribe to KEENtry.
Of course! -Dennis' gonna get me some salad
peppers and can I have some cheese, this one, oh yea perfect!
Nice! It's so nice here
Germans are really friendly
I'm getting tackled!
I'm just too light!
Guys, if you like this video, if you like Julia
SUBSCRIBE! See you soon, bye!
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