I will look into her eyes and tell her how I feel.
He will have to tell me his feelings first.
Then he says directly "I like you."
Hey guys it's Cathy Cat from the streets of Harajuku.
Today we are gonna go and ask Japanese people:
Who has to make the first move.
Who is confessing their feelings first, you or them?
We are gonna ask girls and guys what they think about that.
If you don't want to miss any other videos that we have here on our channel
be sure to subscribe and catch you for more stuff on our channel.
And on that note let's go and Ask Japanese.
Could you read this?
Who has to make the first move?
It's about love and relationships.
Who makes the first move, you or them? Who has to say "I love you" first.
What do you prefer? You or them?
Vote YOU or HE/SHE
You voted YOU!
What are the boys gonna do?
I do it myself.
Boys do it themselves.
Same
You leave it to the man.
I am over here.
Why is it YOU?
Girls are the waiting type.
As a man, if I do the first move, she is more likely to say yes.
I want a girl to see me from my best side.
Best side, you mean you will do the first move in a cool manner? - Yes.
To be honest, I am neither.
I am good with both ways.
Why both ways? - I have no real preference here.
It depends on the situation.
There are times when I should say it first, and when it's better to wait.
So you vote more for the middle then.
When you are the one who confesses...
How do you prefer it to be done? Directly or on social networks?
Directly.
If you tell someone your feelings on SNS...
it's easier to get turned down.
If you tell a girl your feelings directly, she will be directly confronted with it.
I will look into her eyes and tell her how I feel. Directly.
Have you done it before? - I have.
How did it go?
I have done it three times, and as of now all times were successful.
In school, on the way back from club activities,
I called her over, made her wait for a bit and then...
it first didn't come out so quickly. It took me an hour to say it...
but then I told her and she received it well.
You say men HAVE to make the first move. Why?
Why... well...
I want him to tell me his feelings properly.
I can't do it myself.... at all.
If he doesn't make the first move, it's not gonna happen.
I can't do it myself ... also...
I am too embarrassed to say it.
You CAN'T? - I am so shy...
Even if I think I like someone...
but if I don't feel like my feelings are being reciprocated, nothing will happen.
If you think someone likes you, but you can't tell him you like him too... how do you give him hints?
I will tell him what music I like and such...
I will try and appeal with things that we both might have in common.
Things like that.
Trying to say in a roundabout way that I would like to hang out with him.
Like "Man I wanna go to Harajuku soon."
Yes and then add "but there is nobody who wants to come with me..."
Not directly but... - In a roundabout way.
That's very Japanese?
If he is about to tell his feelings, what situation do you prefer?
Directly. I want to tell him to my face.
I want it very casual. Like when we are walking down the street.
"Hey I like you." like that.
- Not making a big deal out of it? - Yes. Very casual. "I do like you by the way."
Why is while walking good?
I am shy. When he tells me directly I will be embarrassed and I want to run away.
That's so cute.
Why would you make the first move?
Why?
If he is the person I like, then I should let him know. Simple.
Having him come to you is not fair. You should tell him your feelings.
I think that's better.
Will you also confess right in front of him?
If that's possible, I think it's best. Waiting for him to do it...
would make me sad. I would not know when it was gonna happen.
I will tell him my feelings. Even if I get dumped, at least I will have tried.
Is there a "the man has to make the fist move" mentality in Japan?
"Boys have to do it" kind of thing?
They don't strictly HAVE to do it, but it's the majority.
But now we have the internet and the SNS...
thanks to that, it might have gotten easier for girls to make a move.
You also said you would make a move?
If you feel like you want to tell a man your feelings, then you should do it.
But if you don't care that much, you don't have to.
You have to decide it for yourself.
You need a lot of courage for it.
If you don't have courage, you don't have to make a move.
And you said he has to.
I am not very good at telling people my feelings.
If I say my feelings, and he says ok...
I will never know if he said ok because he really loves me or it's just the opportunity.
If he tells me his feelings first, I will know he really likes me.
So it's not connected to gender. - No it's not.
But it's best to tell you both feel the same if the other person tells it first.
Getting told feelings or telling feelings, what is best in your opinion?
Say it directly, use the SNS... you said you will tell them, how will you tell them?
I will say it directly and not write it.
Saying it directly, gives you also the feeling of having told your feelings properly.
And just sending words feels a bit too light.
If you tell your feelings on SNS, they remain there as words. I hate that.
So what will you do? - I will... normally just approach him and tell him.
Why do you not want the words to remain online?
If they say there, to be looked at again and again, I won't like that.
How do you want him to tell you? - Directly is best.
If you look into each other's eyes, it's the easiest way to tell your feelings.
I like this best.
You are both on the same side.
You both will NOT make the first move?
I can't make the first move. I keep my feelings hidden in my heart.
- You wait for him? - I will wait. I am the waiting type.
I will wait and wait and wait some more. If it seems impossible that he will tell me then...
i'll have to go to someone else. Let's go.
I will tell him how I feel by giving him lots of smiles. Lots of smiles.
Your hint will be in your smiles. - Exactly.
I will give him a big smile saying "Good morning" or "Bye Bye" and such.
- Why can you not tell him? - I am too embarrassed!
And I want him to fall for me first, before I tell him my feelings.
I want him to love me more and more, tell me and then get him there.
Doing the first move yourself, is that difficult?
Well, I will try and talk to him lots, call him, and appeal to him that way.
You will try and drop some hints. - I will.
What do you think about girls who can make the first move?
I admire girls who can tell their feelings straight out.
I really can't do that myself.
If someone can tell their feelings, I feel like I can learn from them...
so I admire outgoing girls.
What scenario is best when he tells you his feelings?
I like hanging out a whole day, and then walking home...
when he is walking me to my house...
about 300 meters before my house I want to say "There is something I want to talk about."
- Exactly 300m before your house? - The director is laughing!
I want him to say straight out "I like you."
Ideally before you reach the house. - That's why it has to be 300m before my house.
I want it to happen at an amusement park or another special place.
Like a restaurant with a beautiful night view.
After a date there, when there is a great mood,
I want him to tell me his feelings.
You like it gorgeous. - I do!
That's nice.
Why do you make the first move?
I am a man and I have to make the first move.
That's my reason. I am a man.
I have to tell it.
Do girls in Japan wait for the man to make the first move?
No they don't.
What hint will give you a GO to try your luck?
If we both go out drinking, that means I won right?
I am not sure if that's the same rule in Tokyo, but in my hometown it means that.
Where is your home town? - Ibaraki.
Going out drinking is a big chance? - It is.
One of the best chances.
I learned something new.
If she hangs out for me for a second time, it's a chance.
If you hang out once... and you did not have fun, you won't hang out again.
That's why the second time is the chance.
Tell me the best situation for it.
Go have food together and when it's over, tell him my feelings.
I won't use phone or mobile phone or SNS.
I will tell all my feelings directly.
If it's possible there and then, I will tell her.
Nice one. Directly is great.
It's the best.
Don't you have to be super confident?
I am already used to it.
If it doesn't work out, I just have to try another time.
I just have to fix my bad parts.
How cool.
Those are all our questions. Thank you.
So who has to make the first move?
Many Japanese people, 10 said they would make the moves themselves.
While only 6 said they would wait for the partner to make the first move.
So many of the boys said it's a boy thing to make the first move.
A girl is to shy to say it, some girls said I would actually be to shy to say it.
I couldn't get it over my lips.
How is that for you? Would you make the first move or would you wait for your partner?
Is that a boy girl thing? Are we still in the traditional old school thing?
Or has this changed? Let us know, looking forward to reading your comments.
Don't forget, hit the subscribe button for more videos and turn on the notification symbol
and if you've done that I will see you soon for another video on Ask Japanese. Bye!
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