Hi there! My name is Mariah Dillard. I'm the licensed professional counselor
intern and today I'm here to talk with you about self care. Self care is one of
those things that I know we all know is important and we should be practicing,
but the reality is were usually not. We're either not prioritizing it or we
simply don't know how to take care of ourselves. Maybe we even feel guilty
about it because that means we're being selfish, but I kind of want to take those
things and put some light on what healthy self care looks like.
To illustrate how important self care is, I like to start with an analogy about an
airplane. If you've ever gotten on an airplane to travel somewhere then you've
heard the flight attendants come on even before you take off and they go over the
safety features of the aircraft. Generally they say something like
"in case of an emergency or in case of a crisis the oxygen mask will be deployed".
If you are traveling with or seated next to a small child, put your mask on first
and then assist the child. And they specify this order for a reason because
if you were traveling and the oxygen levels became compromised in the
aircraft and you didn't put your oxygen mask on instead you were helping
everyone else around you making sure they are putting their oxygen mask on.
Pretty soon you'd be unconscious on the floor of the aircraft and are no help to
anyone and in this aircraft we have the small children, we have your family, we
have your friends, that all might benefit from your help. So it's important to
make sure that you're taking care of you by putting that oxygen mask on in order
to best take care of those around you. So in this analogy self care is the
oxygen mask that I'm going to be challenging you this week to look at how
am I caring for myself, how am I breathing in the oxygen on a daily basis.
Some of the things we're going to cover today you've already had access to in
previous videos, but I think it's going to be good to have a refresher on what
that looks like and how it applies to be an intentional with self-care.
Starting things off I want to present an easy,
yet effective way I like to utilize self-care and that's deep breathing.
Now deep breathing is as simple as it sounds. You're breathing deeply. We're always
taking breaths. We're always breathing in oxygen but
it's being intentional with this process to bring relaxation. Because when we're
having anxiety let's think about what anxiety feels like because we have
massive anxiety physical symptoms that arise. Typically this can be an
accelerated heart rate, tightness or nausea and your stomach, tightness in
your shoulder, shaking sweating, the list goes on. But we have physical symptoms
that show us anxiety is impacting the body in pretty powerful ways.
So to combat that I think it's important to create an opposite reaction in the body,
a relaxation reaction of slowing things down instead of speeding them up.
We have this reaction due to cortisol changes in the brain and adrenaline
rising throughout the body which accelerate the heart rate and creates a
fight-or-flight response. Deep breathing's the opposite of
that deep breathing slows down the body and in turn allows you to take control
of how that anxiety is affecting you. Instead of allowing the anxiety to rule
your body. I think this applies I'm using the term anxiety as an umbrella
word to go for stress, feelings of being overwhelmed, any negative symptoms you
might be facing today. So when I'm saying anxiety I want you to be able to
apply it and however you're facing those negative symptoms on a daily basis.
But let's practice what deep breathing looks like. I've been told that the breathing
is best done with an eight-second inhale and a ten-second exhale.
The difference in that is on purpose that we want a longer exhale because that's
where the body relaxes. But I found that's a little bit too long for me.
I can only deal with a 5-second inhale and a seven-second exhale. Especially if I'm
highly anxious and I have shortness of breath. So I would challenge you this
week, to practice a five-second in in a seven-second exhale sporadically
throughout the day but specifically if you're feeling anxious or you've had one
of those anxiety symptoms throughout your body.
Let's practice what that looks like because it's longer than most people
think. It's not as easy to take slow intentional breaths. In this, the
purpose is not to suck as much oxygen in your body as you can. The purpose is to breathe slowly.
So it's about how slowly you inhale and not about how much
air you're taking in. Everyone I want you to breathe out all the oxygen
that's currently in your lungs and prepare to practice this.
Let's have an inhale now 1 2 3 4 5 and hold it and exhale 1 2 3 4 5 6 7.
And that's what it looks like to take a slow intentional breath.
If you struggled with that, then that's alright it's something to work on.
If it was super easy for you then maybe you're one that needs to try the eight second
inhale in the 10 second exhale. But this is to intentionally slow down your
breathing, which slows down your heart rate, which slows down your body's
reaction to the negative symptoms we're facing on a daily basis. In this I also
like to pair this with positive self-talk, Now we're constantly having
self-talk and generally we're not aware of it either but it tends to be negative.
Whether it's thinking man I'm not gonna do so well on that test or walking past
the mirror and thinking oh gosh I hate my hair today. But it's being intentional
about making our self-talk positive. That when we speak positive thoughts over us
we're dictating how our emotional responses. We're creating positive
emotions which in turn is creating positive behaviors. In fact, we can see
this... lets I'm going to pick on testing situation for right now.
Let's say you're preparing for a big exam and when you're going to take it if you're
telling yourself with positive self-talk I've done the best I can ,
I've prepared for this, I'm going to do well I've done well previously on the
exams, I've passed, therefore I believe that I will pass this exam as well.
When we speak positively over ourselves we can test better. That the statistics
show that people have positive self-talk tend to do better on tests and other
behaviors in life in general. So I challenge you that when you're taking
deep breaths this week you're also pairing that with positive self-talk of
in that moment what do you need to hear that can be an encouragement. Because in
this you are your encouragement. You are your self-care. You are your positivity.
And how can you better create that? Now these are things that you can do in the
moment of feeling anxiety or feeling that you need to take time to self-care
deep breathe me a positive self-talk. But I also want to talk about some physical
things that you can be doing to prolong just better functioning and in that I'm
going to isolate three specific things: of consistent sleep, consistent eating,
and consistent physical activity. Now I know these are things that you've heard
before and probably have had to watch a video on, but I think it's important to
reiterate the importance of being intentional about doing these things for
your self-care. Because when we're taking care of our bodies in these three
specific ways, we're setting ourselves up for better functioning. We're setting our
brains up to function better, to study better, to learn better, to deal with
difficult people better. When we're setting our bodies up to be able to
function throughout the day with more energy. So when we talk about
consistent sleep it's very important to get seven to nine hours. This is a sweet
window because if we get less than seven hours the prediction is you're going to
have negative effects and feel tired the rest of the day.
If we get more than nine hours, the consequence is the same you're gonna
feel negative and tired throughout the next day. So it's a sweet window of seven
to nine hours that we're going for. So healthy sleep habits would include
setting up a consistent bedtime routine, making sure you're relaxing yourself
before bedtime, and allowing the time to be in bed for
seven to eight hours. A lot of people are surprised that they're not sleeping much
but when we go over their sleeping habits, they're actually not even laying
in bed for those eight hours that would allow them to get that much sleep.
The second thing I mentioned was consistent eating. This looks different for each
person. So depending on your weight, gender, metabolism is how you need to be
eating. So it's figuring out what works for you, and doing more of that.
I think the consistent part is the key word here. We need to be eating
throughout the day because healthy calories provide positive energy for us
to function better. You may be someone that needs three meals a day.
You may also be someone that needs to eat every two hours. If that's you, then it's
probably important to carry energizing snacks that you can eat throughout the
day. But, it's figuring out little works for you and doing more of that but
prioritizing that you're providing that food. That you're eating on a daily basis.
The third thing I mentioned is consistent physical activity. Now in this
I don't mean that you have to be at the gym every single day working out.
Sometimes that's just not possible but being physically active can include
taking a walk in the evening or practicing twenty minutes of yoga.
Once again, this is figuring out what works for you and doing more of that but doing all
of these things, consistently, and making sure you're setting up your body and
your mind for success. Now the final thing I want to talk about today is my
favorite word... balance. Everything in self-care needs to be done with
of balance. To illustrate balance I think of a pendulum swing. If you've
seen those grandfather clocks that tick back and forth there's that pendulum
going from side to side of tick-tock and so on. I feel like we're constantly
swinging from two extremes. Whether it's the extreme of I'm gonna take care of
myself by laying on the couch and binging on Netflix or I'm going to take
care of myself by being productive and getting everything that I need to be
done. That relaxing and be productive are both extremely important but if you're
relaxing 12 hours a day and laying on the couch, that's bad. If you're trying to
be overly productive and not giving yourself any rest and going- going- going
for 12 hours a day, that's bad. That it's finding instead of swinging from side
to side, what is the balance in the middle look like? This is the same
thing and everything in life. If you drink too much water that's bad.
If you don't have any water that's bad. The combination of in the middle, that
balance, is what's healthy. In this I want to include taking time for you.
That could be whatever you enjoy doing. Is it going to the movies?
Is it being by yourself? Is hanging out with friends? But making sure that you're
doing enjoyable things in balance with being productive and doing what you need
to do, not necessarily what you want to do. Allowing yourself that it's okay
for me to spend two hours this evening enjoying whatever it is you have planned
but balancing that with productivity and being in the middle of those things.
So important self-care techniques include prioritizing time. For me I like
to set out a schedule if I'm gonna spend two hours doing this fun activity or I'm
going to be productive and do my chores that I need to get done or work on this
project for two hours. Therefore, I'm balancing and out of I'm committing
time to fun, relaxation, self-care and being productive and getting what I need
to done self-care. That it's finding out what works for you, and doing more of
that, which I've said multiple times but I think that's the key to healthy
self-care. So I hope that this has been helpful. Just a reminder that we've
talked about practicing on a regular basis; deep breathing and taking control
of that anxiety instead of allowing it to control your body and your physical
reaction, having positive self-talk and taking in control of how it affects your
mental processes, and prioritizing feeling and acting more positive as a
result of simply speaking positively to yourself. Those three basics of just
physical self-care through consistent sleeping, consistent eating, and
consistent physical activity to make sure we're setting ourselves up for
success. Finally making sure that you're having a balance. Taking time to
have fun and taking time to be productive and finding time for both of
those. If you find yourself more on the spectrum of tending to relax for too
much, challenge yourself to be more productive. Likewise, if you find yourself
too stressed out and being more productive, challenge yourself to set aside more
time for relaxation and finding whatever that balance looks like for you.
Well, I hope this has been helpful and I can't wait to see how this goes for everyone!
Remember this week to put on your oxygen mask and be breathing in that
self-care because you are your positivity, you are your motivation,
you are your self-care. Have a good one.
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