Auto news on Youtube Jul 1 2018

i got to admit..

when you are amazing, it is hard to remove from minds

will stay forever in heart and soul..

never say love forever..

best to see the sunset together

that is all I want

we will never fall apart

For more infomation >> First Self Promo - Duration: 0:33.

-------------------------------------------

Disability Discourse: Disability & Self Care - Duration: 10:14.

Hey guys!

So first of all I want to apologise for there being no video last week.

Things have been kind of busy around here what with work and I'm also moving really

soon, so soon you'll see a new backdrop and then another new backdrop because, long story,

I'm moving again after that.

So yeah, things are a little hectic around here.

I'm really sorry for last week, I hope that it won't happen again in the near future and

I will do my best to make sure that it doesn't, but I'm not making any promises unfortunately.

Anyway.

Onto today's video, that does exist!

As you can tell by the title, today's video is another Disability Discourse, and today

I want to talk about self care as a disabled or chronically ill person.

Self care is super important for anyone and everyone, but I think it's even more important

when you are someone for whom life is just a bit more difficult, whether that's due to

disability, whether that's due to mental health, like whatever that's because of, I think when

life can be a bit more difficult for you it's reallly important to take that extra time

and make sure that you're handling everything and just take care of yourself.

So while I can't pretend that I'm always great at doing the things I'm going to talk about,

I do try, and I think it's always good to have a reminder from someone else or even

yourself, so I wanted to talk about some things that I've found help me with self care, and

just some little tips about self care in general in the hopes that you'll take care of yourself

and just be kind to yourself.

So let's get into it.

When I was initially disagnosed with arthritis I was sent to a therapist, and this is something

that she told me that I've never forgotten and I think it's really important to keep

in mind, and that s so set aside some energy or some spoons or however you like to think

of it, for things you enjoy or things that relax you.

It's really easy as a disabled person to use all your energy doing vital things like work

or chores or things like that, and you feel like you have to use every last ounce of your

energy being "productive", quote unquote.

I'm definitely guilty of this.

I think something that is important to remember is that enjoyment and relaxation are productive

- it's healthy to do things that you enjoy and to relax you.

Normal people, quote unquote again, spend time doing relaxing and enjoyable things.

Most people don't just spend 100% of their time doing things that need to be done and

it's okay to take some time, and actually healthy and good to take some time to do things

that you enjoy.

So while yes, it is important to get things done that need to be done, make sure you're

prioritising those things, and if something can wait and you can spend some time doing

something that makes you happy, make sure that you do that.

It's so important.

And like I said, bear in mind that as vital as chores are and as vital as your work is,

your happiness and your wellbeing are just as vital, so really it's still productive

to be doing whatever it is you enjoy, whether that's reading a book or writing or playing

a video game, whatever that is.

If you enjoy it it's still productive.

So yeah, set aside some energy to do things that you like and just have some you time.

Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

This is super tough and something that I struggle with to this day, and I think I will always

struggle with.

It's hard to ask for help and not feel like you're being a burden, but I can guarantee

you, anyone who cares about you would so much rather you ask them for help with whatever

it is than just struggle alone.

Anyone who cares about you would love for you to come to them and ask for help, rather

than just thinking you'd bother them or you can't ask anyone for help.

So this, like I was talking about just then, goes for asking people for help, but it also

goes for asking for assistive technology and also just assistive things.

I think there's a general stigma for asking for assistive things if you don't 1000% need

it, and I'm not saying to get things that you don't need, but I mean for example, asking

for a wheelchair if you can still technically walk.

But if walking hurts you or walking takes a whole lot of energy, sometimes you might

want to use a wheelchair to save some energy for other things or to avoid some pain, and

that's totally fine, and the same goes for other smaller assistive things.

Don't be afraid to ask for things that will help you to live your life in an easier or

more comfortable way.

There shouldn't be a stigma against asking for help in any way at all.

So try to practice asking for help, it is so important, whether it's help getting groceries,

or just a sympathetic ear to listen to you vent, whatever help you need right then, whatever

that means to you, don't be afraid to ask for it.

Like I said anyone who cares about you will be so much happier that you asked them rather

than just sat alone and thought that no one cared about you.

The next thing might not be quite as universal, but I think if you're like me it'll be really

helpful, and that is just to send short replies to any people that you have been avoiding

replying to, just to kind of say "I'm really sorry, I'm not avoiding contacting you, I'm

just having a rough patch and I'm kind of withdrawing from people and I'm sorry about

that.

It's not 'cause I don't like you, it's not 'cause I don't care about you, it's just life.".

So for me withdrawing from people is one of my main coping mechanisms, not the healthiest,

I recognise that.

But the worst part for me is that I just feel really really guilty for not replying to people,

I feel reall yreally bad, and it goes into this cycle of I feel bad for not replying,

and then I think it's been too long and now I can't reply, and now I can just like never

talk to that person again, and it makes me feel really terrible as a human being.

And to avoid that you can just send a really brief message.

Your friends who care about you, once again, of course they're going to understand that

you're having a time and that life happens, but I think for your own peace of mind and

also for your friends' peace of mind, just try to get into the habit of sending a quick

message saying that you 're having a hard time and it's nothing to do with them and

you'll be in contact when you can.

The next thing is to give yourself permission to feel your feelings.

This sounds kind of corny, but it's something that has really helped me personally, and

I think I'm getting kind of good at it, or at least a lot better than I used to be.

Basically you're going to feel a lot of different ways about being disabled.

You're going to feel like it's not fair, you're going to feel sad, sometimes you're going

to be happy or grateful for it in weird ways you might not expect.

And it's important to give yourself permission to feel those things and just let the feelings

in, like don't try and say that you're not feeling those things, don't try and force

them out, that never works very well.

Recognise the feelings and feel them, and I feel like that really helps to let them

go as well, like if you let them in and feel the feelings then you can just let them on

their way and they're all dealt with, rather than refusing to feel and denying the feelings

and then like you end up with them all bottled up and you just cry at random times because

you're in pain.

I just think it's really important to recognise that there are alot of complex emotions that

go along with being in pain or being unable to do things that, quote unquote again, "normal"

people can do.

I think it's important to be able to feel those things in a healthy and not necessarily

productive, but not destructive way.

So get used to recognising your emotions and working through those and saying "yes, I am

sad and it's okay to be sad" or "yes, I feel like life is unfair right now and it is okay

to feel that way.

Life is unfair and I am entitled to feel my feelings".

I also think that when you recognise the way that you're feeling and put names to it and

reasons behind it, like "I am feeling sad because I am in a lot of pain today" or "I'm

feeling sad because I can't do this thing like I used to be able to do" I think it helps

you to stop from misplacing your feelings, like so you're saying " I'm feeling sad because

I can't do this thing like I used to be able to", instead of misplacing it and maybe saying

"Oh, I'm angry because my friend is doing this thing that I used to be able to do",

which is obviously not the case right?

Like you're not angry because your friend is having a good time, you're sad because

you're not having a good time.

So I think it's really important for a lot of reasons.

It's very healthy to feel things, of course, and it's also very healthy to be able to recognise

what you're feeling and why you might be feeling it.

My final tip for self care is to learn your limits.

Now if you're like me and have a really variable chronic illness, these limits can often change,

but I find the easiest way to learn your limits is to not put hard limits on anything, but

to learn your body and mind7s warning signs that you might be reaching your limits and

then learn to take a break and just give your body and mind a chance to rest and recover.

So I think this is really important because it can be very easy, like I said in the first

point even, to just keep pushing yourself and pushing yourself and trying to live life

either like you did before you were disabled, or life like you see other abled people living

life.

And that's not healthy.

It might feel good for a very short time, but after a while you're going to be burned

out and it's going to make everything so much worse.

If you can learn your limits and stick to them you will be so so much happier in the

long run and you will learn to make a life that is sustainable and happy for you, and

that's what't really important.

Your life shouldn't look like anyone else's, your life isn't anyone else's.

Your limits aren't like anyone else's, so you need to find your own balance for a life

that you enjoy and also that is sustainable for you to stay happy and healthy.

Okay guys, so that is it for my tips on disabled and chronically ill self care.

As I said, I am by no means perfect and I'm not good at all of these things or even any

of these things, but I do try.

If you have any other self care thoughts or feelings or any other questions, leave them

in the comments below and I'll get back to you.

As always, thank you so so much for watching and I hope you're having a great day.

I'll catch you in the next one.

Peace!

For more infomation >> Disability Discourse: Disability & Self Care - Duration: 10:14.

-------------------------------------------

Dear Younger Me: What Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self - Duration: 29:27.

This is my first time doing this. I didn't do

it on public because I didn't know what was gonna happen, so I'm do this

privately and I'll post it if it's okay. For goodness sakes

I don't know what I just did. I'll try to hold very still, okay. I'm

right next to a fire here. Right next to the fireplace. I don't have a lot of light in here some

pretty dark other than this fire. I want to give us kind of cozy um fireside chat sort of feel because it is.

So it's kind of late'ish, late at night. So this season right now is my birthday

season which used to be a really happy time, but for a couple years now it's

also been kind of a sad time too because that means I'm coming up in the

university of like the last time I saw my son you know will always gonna coincide

with that cuz the last time that I saw him he come home for the 4th July

and my birthday. He came home on July 3rd and stayed till the 7th, and then left my son

was like 7th 2016, and then I talked to him on the night that it happened just a

couple hours before . The last words we said to each other were: I said

"be careful I love you" and he said " I love you too mom." Crazy.

So yeah, I've been thinking about my younger self you know like. It's funny how

time kind of collapses you know. Like you get to be middle-aged you know you have

adult kids, and even kids that even die you know all that.

And you know you remember yourself at their age it's not like when they were little

it I didn't even remember myself at their age I mean I totally...it doesn't even

seem that long ago, and strangely enough this year just because of social media

they've actually a couple people I've gotten in touch

with me, and they didn't even know me as a mom. I mean they knew me

before I had children so almost when I was almost that long ago so that's kind

of interesting it's kinda like a time capsule of you know I want him sent me

some pictures I'll put those up with the video but anyway so just you know kind a

lot of things are running through my mind like you know what would be the

things the things I would say to my younger self you know what what I wish I

knew or you know and of course that's a huge epic question it's like okay what

would I say to my younger self well would I you know what's the context

right what I know that it's my future self saying it to me so that I were like

would I be like my 25 year old self or 22 year old self hearing from my self

now knowing with the truth knew was gonna happen so I could change it or we

might not be able to change and I just you know like it might just we're just

be telling myself like relax pace yourself it's gonna be hard you

know when I say that or when I say don't you don't marry him don't we don't you

know I don't know obviously obviously I would if I could stop myself from and

making a couple critical decisions that I made back-to-back two decisions I made

back-to-back that were life-altering decisions that

I I can't imagine okay yeah that I can't imagine but what my life would have been

like had I not made the first always to move back move back home to Washington

leave leave Los Angeles I had just I was living down in Los Angeles and I just

been I just been like an agent had just discovered me well I like to have me

come in just screen tests and stuff I never even told anybody about that and I

I decided that relationships were what mattered to me and my grandmother just

bent down and she looked like she was getting so old and I didn't like miss

out on the last years with her and I had this missing memory from my childhood I

don't know what that was about I wanted to go back home and kind of piece

together my life I felt kind of disjointed disconnected from I couldn't

piece my life together my path together I wanted and I figured the legend sort

of mattered if I had this whole I have all my family and my childhood friends

everybody all up in one place all these people all the people that loved me in

one place why wouldn't I go up there and make my

life up there that was my logic at the time and so

that's what I did you know I I went up to Washington and then right away and it

was kind of prompted by my brother was getting my brother had become engaged to

a girl she was coming home for like a week for an engagement party and then

leaving forever she moved to Scotland to marry this woman and he was gonna move

there to Scotland and um so I'm thinking oh my parents are losing their son I

should go you know at least if I didn't if I'm

moving back that would make up for that you know like right now they have both

of us temporarily you know I'm going to California he was in Japan at the time

you know maybe hit that him saying he's permanently moving away maybe if I say

I'm moving back how to make up for that little did I know that

they were not gonna be unhappy with him moving to Scotland they were but they

were gonna been happy with my moving back they just they didn't care they

didn't want me moving back I had no idea I could never I wouldn't did not have

any idea that that would be the case so that was this is one and the decision to

have an almost simultaneous to back with it was vision one and that was um when I

got a call from my oldest friends older sister and I call him Griffin in my book

but his older sister who I call Maeve in my book invited me out with a group of

friends that I had a scrape of her friends I really wanna introduce you to

them there's a great group of women and you know though if you need a job or

place you know apartment or something they can really hooked you up but it's a

great group of women I really want you to meet him I think you fit in like

really great I was like oh thank god I just come through this rejection with my

mother and father and I was just like thank god this would this is wacky mom

this has never happened anywhere else this wouldn't happen in Los Angeles this

is where cuz I have old friends this is why I moved back here I went out I went

to meet this group of friends and it was a total setup there was nobody there but

my ex-husband he was the only guy there it was complete setup she'd done it all

for him arranged it all for him and for a split second alarm osmond off alarm

bell alarm bells I was really defend it at first I was like I was really bummed

out because she I'd really set it out like I was really flattered and excited

that she had called and invited me and then it was it was a scam and but I

quickly turned I quickly told myself but it was flattering that he'd go and all

this effort i mighta have to to go through to get her to do that and all

that and um and then also I told myself that because she set it up he must be a

really really it would be a really good guy you know that she's giving him just

her stamp of approval and I respected her opinion and

so you know I so if that was his number two and I you know I first and I wasn't

taking that seriously I didn't think it would really go anywhere so I was kind

of just kind of confessing with him like what was going on with me you know

emotionally with my family little did I know that I was like you

know telling this guy that was gonna complete sociopath I tend to be using it

all against me yeah I skip Effingham I'll guy yeah I

moved back up here and I don't remember my childhood and I'm having at least

weird like kind of flashbacks and my mother's acting so strange and you know

just whatever whatever and uh lo and behold they're all gonna come back to me

like ten years later he's gonna use it all you smell like it's me but um yeah

yeah whatsoever I'd shit what I've told my younger self well quick if I could

undo any of that I would definitely Warner hope they don't go back don't go

back don't and don't uh don't tell Mary that guy but aside from that I would I

would I would I would go a lot more and you trust me feel you need to trust how

you feel go with your feelings because I didn't at the time I didn't I didn't

listen to my feelings at all I I talked myself out of my feelings most of the

time and I told myself that I was too sensitive I told myself that I was you

know all the things that I'd been told you know I told myself that those are

those not reliable reliable feelings I can go I couldn't I couldn't just go

with what felt good all right it you know like if what she had done

felt bad to me or it felt wrong felt weird to me that he had lied to me I

didn't trust myself just go that doesn't feel right but it wasn't right it wasn't

right and it took me I forgot all about it for years not until the whole thing

blew up said Jackie later today even though these things even start to come

back to me that he was remember oh yeah our first date was a complete and total

lie our second jape he totally abandoned me

I had these stories on my channel you have to look at like my early dating

stories I tell those stories about what happened there were red flags all over

the place I totally ignore totally ignore the red flags so you know I would

I didn't I did not understand at all how I should be treated I had such low

standards for how I should be treated because you know just you know when you

I tell you when you have if you're a father of a daughter god don't

underestimate how important it is because you really are teaching your

little girl how how to be treated how she should how he deserves to be treated

and my father didn't teach me that I deserve to be treated with any kind of

tenderness or gentleness or or respect or anything you know he taught me that I

deserved to be neglected and should ignore my feelings indicator to someone

else's needs and that you know I just wasn't precious it wasn't important it

wasn't you know those would be the things I would tell my I would tell my

younger self I tell myself you are really special you're really special and

you haven't been loved well you don't know that you don't know that you

haven't been loved well but you haven't been loved well and you deserve to be

loved well you deserve to be loved unconditionally you deserve to know how

precious you are how wonderful you are how wonderful your big soft gentle heart

is and that it shouldn't be it shouldn't be taken advantage of or made fun of or

you know should be treated with utmost respect tender loving care

hmm and I'm sorry it wasn't you've been neglected I would tell her you've been

neglected you've really been neglected and you need to pay attention to it

don't go with what feels comfortable to you because what feels comfortable

familiar to you isn't going to be right it's not going to be right

you have to override override wet chemistry look what tells you that feels

right because it's not right it's just it's just familiar and if this doesn't

get through if I can't change the course of history then I'm just gonna say

pace yourself road really rough road but you can do it I wish I could make it

easier for you it's gonna be quite a journey but you'll be a wise woman one

day o wise wise women one day yeah and you know you're gonna live you're gonna

live and you know love fully and you're gonna have your heart broken but when

it's all over you will know you have lived and you'll have felt at all a full

range of everything

yeah I would I would you know if I if I had like me for a daughter I would

really try and change the way that I saw myself changed my value change what I

put up with gosh you know I really had imbalanced

relationships all around even with friends all around I had some good

people in my life too but I just I just didn't I just didn't expect enough of

anyone you know all right ended up putting up with a lot

of selfish people in my life you know I I was naturally drawn to them and they

were naturally drawn to me I asked so that's that I was raised I guess but

yeah he did a good job when I was probably you're a good good person

you've been a good person proud of you what person that you are

yeah it's hard up in vim overcome is this series of videos to trend up trying

to work on like um like post-traumatic groves and the things that come from

trauma here are the benefits that can come from it and you know kind of the

things that come from just you know like mistakes you know you guys I would I

would say to you is you know people a lot smarter than you will make much

Dumber mistakes than you've made so don't beat yourself up because it'll be

tempting because you'll have a lot of people blaming you because that's what

they do a lot of people in your life are blamers

you know so they'll blame you and you're gonna want to blame yourself because

you're gonna invest a lot of time this is if I can't change things so say

things just scare any other way they're gonna go things are just gonna go the

way they're gonna go that's a you're gonna invest a lot of time in people and

in things you're gonna give a hundred percent or things that are not going to

work out if you think that are going to completely blow up in your face and

people are going to take advantage of you and people are going to use you and

then blame you for things because it's they have to do because you're around a

lot of really sick people and

don't blame yourself you you learned from it you know you are you and you

were doing the right thing you went you went back to be with your family cuz

you're a family-oriented person you ambassador to be a devoted daughter and

granddaughter you got married you planning on being a devoted wife and

mother he completely you you did you did it

100% right you just didn't have boundaries

and you didn't have anyone no I had your back no one had your back you know my

husband wouldn't have been is abusive if I had a family on my side you know he

just knew he'd get away with it because it didn't have anyone protecting me and

my family was they just didn't they just didn't know me they just didn't know me

didn't they didn't know we didn't know what they have in me and so they just

they just didn't appreciate it and I bailed on me you know so nothing you

could do about any of that nothing you could you about any of that the only

thing the only thing that you did was take abuse for too long and so don't

spend a large time beating yourself up and abusing yourself then after it's

over because they're gonna kick you around really good and kick you around

they're gonna take everything from you that matters to you and you know lie

about you lie to themselves about you and you will have all the time just been

devoted you just been doing it just to get their approval and it's never gonna

come so you got give yourself your approval and you gotta understand the

you were up against an impossible impossible thing you said up just

something it seems so simple and seem so doable

she was so reasonable and I just wasn't you know when you made that decision you

said I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm not gonna go for this I'm not gonna try and be

trying to be as an actress I'm gonna try and do that that's way too lofty of the

goal I'm gonna scope go home and maybe a good daughter and a good sister

and a good you know whatever friend just be a good person that man I'll be the

hub of a family that seems very doable it should have been but in my case in

your case it probably was it will that was never possible it was more possible

for you to become a movie star for you to become an actress in Hollywood was

way more way more likely than the fact that you were ever gonna become you know

they were gonna have this happy family life with these people it was never

gonna happen but nobody could have told you that nobody could've told you that

nobody had showed you dad and of course nobody even tried to tell

you that and so it was already way too way too late here already really well

invested but because people don't think that way that's not a society a society

tells you that it's all doable your parents love you

society tells you that things like this don't happen but they do happen and

there's some reason why it happened to you and I believe that's because you are

strong enough to take it you have the skills to do something with it

maybe it's because you can write you can speak and whatever it needed to happen

to you so that you could do something with it to help people just read the

word about it to expose this kind of abuse to to do something to get to make

it so that the next generation has helped and I know that one of the things

was you thought you thought the ending the abuse in your family ending that

cycle of abuse in your family was was the goal and and it was and you did do

that it's just that

I didn't turn out the way you hoped because you didn't you also lost a child

but and that will obviously break your heart this person that is no special

person here in your world it's only gonna be here for our season you know

but yeah you are gonna have an epic life you can have an epic life and if say

you're 20 to 23 but I'm your life doubles you will not believe it you will

not believe the things that you've seen and John but if psychic once told me

even when I was looking who knows like like 20 20 22 that the best time of my

life was gonna be when I was like an old woman when I was like doing your

grandmother's music has to be the highlight of my life so I'm hoping that

that was right that sounds pretty good to me I think that would be pretty

awesome so so there a lot going on okay so coming up on birthday coming up

on that over three if losing Noah we're moving taking a trip down to Mexico next

week and then we're moving and so a lot going on lots lots going on that I'm

gonna still train keep Mike to make sure I get my videos posted and and keep keep

you guys in the loop and I don't know how to do actually do giveaways but I'm

gonna try and just I really want to do some giveaways please write comments

because I'm going to make sure you subscribed make sure you somehow leave

me some way to get in touch with you because I want to I have lots of things

to give away I want to get I want to give stuff away and I'm trying to boost

my channel too I need to really try and get my my channel going because at

several months where I really fell behind because I just didn't realize

what was going on with advertisements and stuff like that it's

like it's like an epic thing you're hearing these channels it's like you

have to be an expert in so many different things you know crazy so I

just didn't I just didn't realize what was going on I wasn't really running ads

and I didn't realize that I was like not getting seen by anybody and so it's

bubbling away way down in the feed so I need to get boosted back up I mean I

need lots of engagements for YouTube just start thinking that I my channel

doesn't suck cuz I mean she probably thinks my

channel 6 because nobody you know any any of you use or you know so I need

lots of likes and comments and shares and and watch time and that kind of

stuff so please if you like my channel please help me out with getting me some

engagement get me boosted back up so it so that YouTube gives me gives you some

love gives me some love and gets me gets me back going again alright you guys um

alright Sonia Simon I'm paying on this I'm doing this sort of series right now

where I'm talking about post-traumatic growth and and some things like that

about mistakes and beating yourself up and forgiving yourself with the things

you've done wrong and and what I wanted to say about that is my final parting

thing is that you know you can't beat yourself up for the mistakes because

mistakes really are what made you who you are you know

honestly we're not learning anything from the victories you know you learn

from the mistakes the mistakes are who made you who you are and and the

beautiful thing is that unless you're sick unless you're disordered you can

enter you can look inside and you can learn from your mistakes and you can

grow and make you bigger you know the very worst thing is when you're when

you're like these abusers and they can't even do that they just keep making

mistakes and they have to just ramrod them with their way through it without

learning a thing you know and this is just that's really just pathetic but you

don't have to do that you can learn you can learn and a lot of times what you

end up learning is that you're relatively limited and what you're able

to do about you know allowing for luck of the

draw who you know who you've got who you were born to I mean no but no I just say

like a jock that's not true I really believe there's a cash life so but

there's something you do about haven't you in agreement about how you pick who

you are born to who your parents are but once you're here you can't pay you

know three pressures who you are and there was nothing to be changing them

you know there was not going to be any changing of your parents so the only

place there was for any change was in you and the fact that you are even here

if you're watching this channel if you know any if you even know what I'm

talking about then that means that you have done a lot

of work and that means that you have not done the autopilot thing which is

because the people that are on autopilot are either back being abused like we

were or their abusers and so you're not either one of those things you're

heading in the right direction and that's not an easy road that's the

hardest road to take that's why it's the road less traveled that's the road less

traveled not saying yeah that will make all the difference right that makes all

the difference which roads pick but yeah those mistakes made you who you are and

it was an easy life and it wasn't an easy life but um but

it's the material for being a very compassionate person for being able or

wise person and it's material for being a creative artist for sure if you have

an art that you create this is a treasure trove of material that you'll

never it'll never run dry never run dry so my son he had you know he was a

musician and he just was like he had a lifetime's worth of songs just saying

you know and I'm hoping maybe he started seeing through me you know who teach me

how to play play guitar get me to sing his songs he'd be awesome anyway

I had lots of stuff planned for him and and what I want to do is pursuing some

stuff for him too so you know let's let's just going on wants to change

changes I was in the air change that was happening okay guys thanks so much for

your support for being here with me on my birthday week I stretch out for like

a week all right and take care thank you so much for for

being here for being supportive of me and my channel and all the things that

I'm doing and please comment write you know anything anything you would like to

talk about anything you'd like to anything just write in the comments let

me know I'm I'm open I'm free and I'm you know I'm the most looking for ways

to kind of shift the channel so that it's a little bit unique a little bit

different you know in whatever area you are needing you know what is it that you

come you come online looking for you're not finding you know maybe let me know

because maybe I can do it whatever that is so okay I will talk to y'all later

you

For more infomation >> Dear Younger Me: What Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self - Duration: 29:27.

-------------------------------------------

I BOUGHT SOME SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS - Duration: 6:09.

Hello!

I'm here with an exciting video.

It's an un...boxing... *laughs*

this isn't a box...

I was recently inspired to buy some self-published books.

I bought two from one person, and one from another person.

One person I follow on youtube, it's Wolfshot Publishing, I will leave his channel in the

description if you don't know about him.

So I bought two of his books, and I also bought a book by someone I don't know.

I just searched youtube for, I think I put in the search bar:

"You can buy my self-published book", or something like that.

And a lot of people posted about being excited about their self published book, like unboxing

it for the first time and looking at it, and then not putting any information in the video

about how to buy their book.

So anyway, I found one, who did, and the book seemed interesting, so I bought them.

And so now I'm going to open them and show them to you!

Because we have to support self-published authors too, because they're authors too.

And self publishing is a good way to get traditionally published sometimes.

Take a look at The Martian.

And Still Alice.

And Amanda Hocking!

Okay, the first one here is the one by the person who I didn't know.

This is a really cool cover.

It's book one in The Hunter Legends, and it's called The Beast, by Lindsay Mead.

And it's a steampunk retelling of Beauty and the Beast!

So, I love the matte cover, this is great.

Oh, it's like, fairly floppy, which is nice.

My books are not that floppy.

They're pretty stiff, which is sad.

But, whatcha gonna do?

Demon possession has swept through Glace's neighboring kingdom, turning humans into hellhounds.

These great, fanged wolves are wild, desperate, and hungry.

Only the sworn Hunters have kept them back for five long, bloody years.

Since becoming a Hunter at a young age, Belle LeClair no longer remembers how many hounds

she's killed or how many friends she's buried.

Still, Belle leads the hunt till a tragedy forces her deep into the dark kingdom.

Her heart will be turned, her loyalty tested— and fate will intervene.

Amid a backdrop of Steampunk inventions and a harsh winter landscape, THE BEAST is a re-imagining

of the infamous love between a beauty and a beast.

That sounds good!

I'm really excited about this!

Also, there will be links to these books in the description, if you want to buy them as

well, if they sound good to you, so, there's that one.

I also got, so this one's by Wolfshot Publishing, Cam, so his author name is Cam C Wolfe.

And this book is The Architects of the Gifted: The Scarlet Reaper.

This is a really nice book also.

He did a good job.

"What haunts me is not the things we have seen, but to know that they were there all

along and we were too blind to notice."

Carter Becker appears to most as an ordinary teenager trying to get the attention of Scarlett,

the girl with the ruby eyes.

The most beautiful girl in the world.

But when a devastating and catast - *laughs* But when a devastating catastrophe destroys

his city, Carter realizes that the world hides many dark secrets, and he himself is one of them.

A rogue soul reaper has come to a world that is not its own to carry out a sinister plan,

and the only thing it requires is Scarlett's life.

Carter joins forces with a team of fantastic and mysterious individuals to bring her home,

but standing in his way are terrifying creatures beyond his imagination, an ancient and powerful

organisation and worst of all, his own fear.

Saving Scarlett's life and stopping the reaper's plan for total control will take

more than luck; Carter will have to accept what he is and learn how to use it.

And the next book is a parody of Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur, by Cam C Wolfe.

*laughs* It's called bobs and vagene

And what he did was he took -- Well, I'll just read the back:

This is an uncapitalized journey of thirsty instagrammers, working tirelessly to make

girls show their bobs and vagene.

This is a collection of the lust, the anger, the butts, the bobs.

This is actually pretty sad and gross, and just a little bit funny.

And uh, anyway.

He read a few of the "poems" on his channel, and they were hilarious.

These are the three self-published books that I just bought.

That I'm excited to read.

Aaannnd If you want, there's another self-published

book that I just wrote that I can show you.

Here's mine!

It's called Saving Mason.

It also has a nice, velvety cover.

And it's not that stiff, now that I realize.

I said it was stiff before, but it's, like it's not floppy,

but it's not so stiff that it's terrible.

Anyway, this is my book!

I'll read the synopsis for this one for you.

Just because zombies can kill you doesn't mean they're always ruining people's lives.

They just exist, the same way that people do and the same way that everything else does.

The zombies have been around for so long that most people have learned how to live without

being affected by them.

Most of the time.

So when a young woman, traveling with a man she hardly knows, is bitten on the foot, she's

faced with a difficult decision: Let the infection run its course and become a zombie herself,

or let him amputate.

After losing her parents and not knowing how to trust someone new, putting her life in

the hands of a stranger seems to be the toughest situation she will ever be faced with.

Turns out that was the easy part.

And so that's exciting!

There's another self-published book right there for you.

That I will also -- can't leave -- never mind, I can't leave it in the description, it's

not available yet.

But my website will be in the description, and you can sign up for my mailing list if

you want.

And it will tell you when it's available there.

So that's all for this video.

I hope you have a great day!

Bye!

For more infomation >> I BOUGHT SOME SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS - Duration: 6:09.

-------------------------------------------

Negative Thinking Is Good For Self Development - Duration: 7:45.

hey thank you so much for watching and if you're not watching does this video

even exist so I'll be honest with you I'm a little surprised that I've

continued to make these videos I'll tell you why generally when I set out to

create change in my life or develop new habits or work on something new I

generally get momentum upfront but there always comes a time where I reach this

this kind of barrier or this invisible wall where negative self-talk comes in

convinces me I don't have what it takes convinces me to revert back to my normal

self my normal life my normal state of not believing what I have what it takes

and then I always get back to square one and I'm just back to the same old

routine and I wanted to talk about that because I think that's a very universal

thing that I think you can relate to but I think a lot of us can relate to and it

ties into me making these videos right so I set out to do a couple videos got

through about six and then a lot of you started telling me how much you've

enjoyed these videos and seriously that means the freaking world to me and

that's why I am continuing to do these so thank you so much for letting me know

that you enjoy these and that you're actually watching it really means a lot

and it kind of ties into what I want to talk about on this video today right is

self- talk and preventing ourselves from being the biggest version of ourselves

that we truly can be so my theory is and this is just my personal theory is that

when we start doing things in favor of ourselves and we start implementing new

positive habits and start kind of just breaking off that shell of our comfort

zone our egos are always going to step in at some point and convince us that we

need to stop that we need to revert back to our old

selves and that we don't need to start implementing this change that exists in

this new realm of opportunity that is the unknown and I think our egos are

designed to keep us in this safe space because we fear change even if that

change even if we know that change will benefit us and we know that we want it

and we know that we need it it's still hard to convince ourselves on every

level of our being that we really need to step out and make that change in our

lives and that's why I think it's so easy to get momentum upfront when we're

implementing new habits are changing things about ourselves but there's

always gonna be that negative self-talk that's gonna come in but I think that we

can use that negative self-talk to our advantage actually so I think that if

you're working towards something and you're starting to feel like you're

coming up on that fringe of you know I'm fixing to bust out I'm really fixing to

reinvent myself I'm really fixing to break down the expectations of who I

but there's still something just holding me back like maybe you're just not ready

to completely full-on let loose maybe you're afraid of what other people will

think maybe you're afraid that if you're not living up to people's expectations

of who you should be in their mind that they might not want to be around you

anymore or that maybe you'll become insignificant to them and that's

probably true you know if you really start totally and fully expressing who

you are and that breaks the barrier of people's

expectations of you there are gonna be a lot of people that you're going to

become insignificant too and those are the relationships that you don't need

anymore and so I think it's good to keep in our

minds what negative self-talk is and what the nature of it is and how it can

actually be used to our advantage as a positive sign that we're actually moving

in the right direction but I think that when we're really starting to fully

Express who we are and it's going against who we used to think we were and

it's going against who other people think we are that's when that real

negative self-talk is going to come in and has the massive potential to stop

you in your tracks and send you back to square one and I don't want that to

happen for you and I definitely don't want that to happen to me so I started

thinking how can I use negative self-talk to my advantage what I started

doing is I started identifying what areas of my life do I feel like I'm

starting to make momentum in what direction in my life and I actually

starting to take action on and move toward

and then I started to realize that's where the majority of my negative

self-talk was directed toward so that makes me think well why don't I use that

negative self-talk as a reminder that I need to keep going in that direction

that negative self-talk no longer has to hold me back and keep me from creating

the change in my life that I want to that negative self-talk can now be like

a light bulb it could be a reminder that yeah I'm feeling this fear I'm feeling

this negativity and that's why I got to keep going for it because that means I'm

going in the right direction that means I'm going in a direction that's outside

of my comfort zone a direction that's burning away aspects of myself that I

don't need anymore aspects of myself that I that were never a part of me that

I always just told myself or validations to stay small and stay in a comfort zone

that made me feel significant to other people so what I want for you and what I

want for myself and if we want to be the biggest version of ourselves that we can

be we have to be ready for negative self-talk and we have to stop letting

negative self-talk direct how we act and instead remind us to keep going forward

so a little mini challenge if you will focus on one area of your life that you

really want to make forward direction in or you're already making forward

direction in and then start thinking of the difference negative thoughts that

you tell yourself that prevent you from starting this new path or are slowing

you down on this path you're already on it start thinking and identifying what

those negative self thought patterns are and then just start paying attention

when you start experiencing this negative self-doubt you know these

thoughts of you're not good enough you know you don't have the capacity to do

this you're just not the type of person who can accomplish this when you're

having those thoughts use them as a reminder to take a step back take a deep

breath and just keep fucking going don't stop use that negative self-talk to

empower yourself and keep moving forward thank you so much for watching thank you

for all the positive feedback I love you all so much I'm gonna keep making videos

I want to keep talking if you have something you want to get off your chest

send me a DM let's chat talk to you soon

For more infomation >> Negative Thinking Is Good For Self Development - Duration: 7:45.

-------------------------------------------

Ex-CNN producer bla*ts Jim Acosta for self-serving antics - Duration: 2:47.

Ex-CNN producer blasts Jim Acosta for self-serving antics.

A former CNN producer took to Twitter on Friday to blast Jim Acosta, the network's White

House correspondent, for what he called Acosta's "self-serving antics," saying they "give

all good journalists a bad name."

The posts by Steve Krakauer, a former senior digital producer for the network who is now

is a top executive at Commerce House, a Dallas-based advertising firm, were prompted by a question

that Acosta shouted to President Donald Trump on Friday, during a White House event on the

economy and tax cuts.

Trump used the event as an opportunity to extend condolences to the victims, and survivors

of Thursday's tragedy at the offices of the Capital Gazette, where five employees

were slain by a gunman who was later taken into custody.

Acosta tried to link the shooting to past criticisms that Trump had leveled to ward

members of the media, including calling them "the enemy of the people."

As the audience applauded at the end of the president's speech, Acosta shouted from

the back of the room:

"Mr. President, will you stop calling the press the enemy of the people," CNN Journalist

Jim Acosta shouted at the end of Trump's speech.

The question drew no response from Trump.

"Truly an embarrassment, on multiple levels," Krakauer tweeted about Acosta's performance.

He continued in a subsequent tweet: "On a day journalists could honor the memory of

fellow reporters tragically killed, due to a deranged person with a vendetta going back

years, Acosta tries to shift the blame to Trump," Krakauer wrote.

After the White House event, Acosta tweeted about his own performance: "I tried to ask

the president if he would stop calling us the enemy of the people.

He did not respond," Acosta wrote.

He added: "We also had a few folks who shushed is in the audience.

Of course we are not going to be shushed."

at a Trump rally in South Carolina.

One rallygoer, identified as Maria Rojas, personally confronted Acosta, telling him

he doesn't respect the country.

"I do respect the United States, yes I do," Acosta told the woman in videos posted by

an Associated Press reporter.

Anyone wanting more opportunity to make up their minds about Acosta can tune in Sunday

to CNN's "Reliable Sources" program, where host Brian Stelter is scheduled to interview

his CNN colleague, Jim Acosta.

What do you think about this?

Please share this news and scroll down to Comment below and don't forget to subscribe

top stories today.

For more infomation >> Ex-CNN producer bla*ts Jim Acosta for self-serving antics - Duration: 2:47.

-------------------------------------------

How to Build your Self Esteem using these 3 Simple Tricks - Duration: 7:26.

the beginning of any new journey is always exciting writing down your new

goals making plans and marking calendars towards an achievement that may be

months or even years away but if you looks right around the corner you start

out on the journey with confidence fueled by the excitement of potential

although all journeys have roadblocks everyone hits a point where self-doubt

starts to take over them in their minds and prevents them from taking future

risks if you have a small tank of self-esteem to keep yourself going you

can begin to exhaust yourself quickly and lose momentum the finish line seems

to move further and further away and you can start to feel dread about your

current endeavoring goals self-esteem gives you motivation and purpose during

this journey but it must be built up throughout the journey some

psychologists say self-esteem is there to make sure that you don't embarrass

yourself in front of others which in the past could lead to being an outcast and

even death in today's world those outcomes are not as bad failures

missteps and a lack of patience can all chip away at self-esteem but there are

ways to build yourself back up in the face of any hardships now something

that's really important is to know the importance of self-esteem self-esteem

takes into account our strengths our weaknesses flaws and opportunities

self-esteem scientifically speaking can be where you see yourself on the

hierarchy of social status no person is perfect at the top but a foundation of

self-esteem can help you set aside imperfections when they threaten to

impede your progress when you build a solid foundation of confidence you have

the ability to handle rejections with your head held high having high self

esteem doesn't mean that you won't come across rejection though it'll just help

you get through it easier rejection is a normal part of life higher self-esteem

will however make the idea of rejection less daunting and encourage you to take

more risks the thing about more risk is that they tend to lead towards more

rewards and if you do it right the failures aren't that bad for example

it's said that Thomas Edison found 1,000 ways not to build a light bulb that's a

lot of rejection before I give you some tips on how to build your self-esteem I

want to give a shout out to today's sponsor better help now it takes a lot

of courage to talk to others about what you're going through especially if

you're going through a hard time but better help is an online service that

allows you to find the perfect counselor for your situation starting with a

counselor is the perfect place to build your self-esteem before you go out and

start sharing what you're feeling with others in your life a counselor for

better help is like a life coach and can be a great resource to build confidence

in a private confidential and safe place better help offers fully licensed

trained and accredited counselors and their price is

pretty affordable compared to other forms of counseling pricing is between

thirty five dollars and sixty five dollars a week for unlimited counseling

meaning you're connected with a counselor the entire time via your phone

or computer and you can schedule video phone or text sessions when necessary

usually for most people it's once a week also with better help you're not wasting

your time traveling which solves the biggest issue why most people never even

see a counselor most people aren't comfortable talking in person with

someone so the online opportunity allows you to talk on your own time wherever

you want and there's over 2,500 counselors on the website which means

it's super easy to find someone that you feel comfortable talking to mental

health is a very important thing and I was amazed at the professionalism and

the quality of service I got from the counselor that I was matched with who

also lives in the same state as me if you want to learn more about better help

or you're ready to sign up check the link in the description and also if you

join you'll be helping out this channel so let's move on to how to build your

self esteem what are the biggest things is to practice acceptance often your

ability to build self-esteem is blocked by the ability to accept where you are

right now in your life you may often compare yourself to others feel down

about your current position or bring up even regrets and things that you feel

bad about from past events take a moment and take all these doubts maybe you

write them down if you have to and then throw them away and accept who you are

right now so here's a little mental example let's say you're in a busy city

and you want to get across town before you figure out where to go next you

first have to assess what street you're on right now and what direction you're

facing if you get angry at yourself for where you are now or you pretend that

you're in a completely different part of town you will never be able to get where

you need to go so the journey towards your goals and building self-esteem

works in a very similar fashion you have to accept where you are and who you are

right now start building self-esteem from the place you are at the current

moment in this moment you are where you are everyone is at a different place and

has the ability to move forward and backwards the road to your goals is not

always a clear and a straight path but in order to get there faster you have to

accept where you are and start figuring out what directions you need to take in

order to get where you want to be it's important not to accept defeat though

always be moving forward another thing that can help you build your self-esteem

is to trick yourself into having high self esteem in the beginning of your

journey you may not believe positive things about yourself affirmations and

statements about self love they might seem foreign and fraud now

if you want to be able to believe these positive statements you can actually

trick yourself into doing so and all this trick involves is repetition and

patience you can create the illusion of truth with a process commonly referred

to as cognitive ease cognitive ease explains how repetition of a phrase or

an idea becomes more comfortable to you and believable as we're continually

exposed to it the more that we hear something or repeat something to

ourselves the more we believe it and the more real that it starts to become this

idea can be used to make beliefs about yourself real now you won't change your

thinking overnight but after constant repetition of the same phrase or idea

you will start to say the idea more comfortably until becomes something you

can confidently say to others and then eventually you start acting in

accordance of that idea of yourself another thing you can do is to make

confidence building part of your routine so are you ready to start building up

your self-esteem use a road map and the idea of cognitive ease to help you

believe in all of the positive things that you want to see in yourself start

by sitting down and assessing your current feelings ask yourself some

questions like these what areas in my life could use more confidence is it

dating or is it money or is it family or even friends also ask yourself what do I

want to feel when I think about three areas of my life and what positive

thoughts do I want to feel about myself then write down a list of three common

negative phrases that you tell yourself you might hear these phrases when you're

preparing to take a big risk or planning the next steps in your life these may

sound something like I'm never going to achieve my dreams or no one likes me now

after you write these down cross them out and write down the opposite of that

phrase I am going to achieve my dreams people love me this is a very powerful

method of rewiring your brain and your thought patterns now you should have a

series of a bunch of positive phrases these phrases may seem fraudulent to you

now but your new confidence building routine will make these statements a

reality set aside time to sit in front of the mirror in the morning and

actually say these positive phrases out loud I know it sounds really weird but

it works this could be in the bathroom as you get ready for the day or it can

be in the car mirror on your commute to work whatever you do remember to say

these positive phrases at least once a day at first if you're anything like me

you're going to feel a little silly and awkward repeating these ideas instead

keep pursuing the idea that these positive phrases will become true

beliefs that will empower you to move forward if you make an effort to build

up your own self-esteem you will soon see the beliefs that you're working for

and the last thing is to put it all together

you come to a roadblock that threatens to bring you down take knowledge from

all of these tips to objectively assess the situation and take appropriate risks

even if things don't always go your way you will have a strong set of personal

beliefs that provides a cushion for your fault if you need personal help I advise

reaching out to a counselor a better help who is trained and what you need

help with whether you're struggling with depression fighting anxiety need help

finding motivation or maybe you lack some goals better help is a great online

resource to help you grow by giving you a helping hand and a listening ear along

the way as I said earlier if you're interested in better help check out the

link below whether you're falling or you're standing proud accept where you

are and keep pursuing the truths that you want to believe about yourself thank

you guys so much for watching I hope you enjoyed this video and I'll see you next

time

For more infomation >> How to Build your Self Esteem using these 3 Simple Tricks - Duration: 7:26.

-------------------------------------------

NEET Cutoff 2018: Government Quota Self Financing Medical Colleges Categorywise Cutoff for TN - Duration: 3:11.

Welcome to NEETLab - We guide students with strong desire to become a doctor

In this video, we are going to compare the state rank list between 2017 State Rank list

and 2018 for state govt quota seats in private / self-financing medical colleges which are

available under subsidized fees of Rs 4 lakhs/annum.

At the end , we will know how much NEET cutoff has increased for all reservation Categories.

If your NEET score is less than the expected NEET cutoff for your reservation category

which we are going to discuss later in this video, you still have chance to study medicine

under management quota in private colleges.

The tuition fees for management quota in private medical college is Rs 12.5 lakhs/annum.

Apart from tuition fees, you would have to pay additional 3-5 lakhs/year for other fees.

If you cannot afford this tuition fees, you have another option to study medicine abroad

at Rs 4 lakhs/annum tuition fees.

Do you know that there are more than 500 medical colleges approved by Medical council of India

for Indian students to study medicine abroad.

If you need help in choosing good foreign medical college, send Whatsapp request "MBBSABROAD"

along with your city,state and NEET score to whatsapp number 7010 253 788 to get free

guidance.

Lets get started with the tamilnadu govt quota neet cutoff for 2018 in private medical colleges.

Last year the NEET cutoff for BC community reservation was 276 for government quota in

self-financing medical college.

Let us check the community rank from the last year 2017 Tamilnadu state rank list.

Student who got NEET score 276 stood at BC community Rank 1859.

In this year 2018 tamilnadu state rank list, Student at BC community Rank 1859 secured

337 marks.

Students with NEET score higher than 337 from BC category has chance to get govt quota MBBS

Seat in private colleges at tuition fees Rs 4 lakhs/year.

Similarly, we have found the cutoff for other reservation categories.

For open category, this year 2018 neet cutoff is expected to be 356 for govt quota.

For MBC category, it will be close to 290.

If you liked this video, please cheer us now by clicking the thumbsup button.

Share this video to your friends who are looking for options to study medicine at an affordable

cost.

Thanks for watching this video.

For more infomation >> NEET Cutoff 2018: Government Quota Self Financing Medical Colleges Categorywise Cutoff for TN - Duration: 3:11.

-------------------------------------------

Self presentation ITALKI - Duration: 1:54.

Hello. My name is Kristina. I'm a native Russian speaker. I have always been

interested in learning languages, singing, dancing and traveling. As for languages, I

earned B2 English level after I successfully passed EF Standard

English Test. I'm a student of linguistics faculty of

Peter the Great St. Petersburg State Polytechnic University so that means

that I have enough knowledge to share with you. I would be really happy to help you

improve your English speaking skills focusing on some grammar rules and new

vocabulary. And what i`d especially like to pay attention to is developing your

proper English pronunciation (with no Russian accent). Moreover, I'm eager to

teach Russian if you are into it. So feel free to contact me and request your first

lesson. Bye. Привет всем! Меня зовут Кристина. Мой родной язык -русский. Я всегда интересовалась

изучением языков, путешествиями, танцами и вокалом. Что касается

языков, я достигла уровня B2 в английском языке,

доказательством чего является мой EF SET сертификат. За все время у меня накопилось

достаточно опыта, которым бы я хотела поделиться. Я бы хотела помочь вам

улучшить ваши разговорные навыки, особенно фокусируясь на изучении

правил грамматики и новой лексики. На что бы я особенно хотела обратить внимание,

так это на развитие вашего надлежащего английского произношения

(без русского акцента). К тому же, я очень заинтересована в обучении

русскому языку, если вам это интересно. Я с нетерпением жду нашего первого

занятия.До встречи.

For more infomation >> Self presentation ITALKI - Duration: 1:54.

-------------------------------------------

Sanju review – biopic of Bollywood bad boy Sanjay Dutt drowns in self-evasion - Duration: 4:03.

Sanju review – biopic of Bollywood bad boy Sanjay Dutt drowns in self-evasion

The career of Bollywood megastar Sanjay Dutt has been the rockiest of rides. Born to Nargis, iconic figurehead of 1957's Mother India, Dutt's initial breakthrough was stymied by drink, drugs and womanising, and subsequent comebacks separated by stretches of prison time.

His air of disrepute bolstered 2006's terrific comedy Lage Raho Munna Bhai, where Dutt played a heavy nagged towards virtue by Gandhi's ghost: the gags there had the ring of hard truth.

That film's director Rajkumar Hirani now brings us a decidedly soft and authorised-looking biopic featuring boyish pin-up Ranbir Kapoor as the roguish colossus, which to British eyes seems like recruiting, say, Men's Hour lynchpin Tim Samuels to play Ray Winstone.

In actuality, Kapoor proves a lightweight film's strongest suit: he's accumulated enough muscle mass, the bags under the eyes that speak to late-night licentiousness, even a measure of Dutt's bad-boy swagger.

Everything else about this hagiography intends to make the character look good.

Sanju opens with third Dutt's wife Manyata (Dia Mirza) persuading an initially sceptical journalist (Anushka Sharma) to tell her suicidal hubby's side of the story, and that's exactly what this script does, generating nigh-on three hours of self-justification.

The drugs were the actor's way of escaping his father's control and his mother's decline. The women? He was irresistible and broken-hearted. The guns? There for protection. The infamy? Blame the press.

There's a certain old-school comic nous about an early mix-up involving women and whisky ("I was enjoying an 18-year-old on the terrace…"), but it's otherwise sad to see an irreverent talent like Hirani tidying up generally unruly legend, and trying to reframe a lot of grimly male misbehaviour as simple misunderstanding.

At a moment when film industries worldwide are having an overdue rethink of their relationship to star privilege, an ambiguous life such as this might have offered up a cautionary tale, or at the very least some learning curve.

What we get instead is a patchwork of feeble evasions and celebratory elaborations. . … we have a small favour to ask. More people are reading the Guardian than ever but advertising revenues across the media are falling fast.

And unlike many news organisations, we haven't put up a paywall – we want to keep our journalism as open as we can. The Guardian is independently owned.

That means we don't have a billionaire owner funding us but it also means we increasingly rely on contributions directly from our readers.

The Guardian's independent, investigative journalism takes a lot of time, money and hard work to produce. But we do it because we believe our perspective matters – because it might well be your perspective, too.

If everyone who reads our reporting, who likes it, helps to support it, our future would be much more secure.

For more infomation >> Sanju review – biopic of Bollywood bad boy Sanjay Dutt drowns in self-evasion - Duration: 4:03.

-------------------------------------------

5.1 Self Mastery - Duration: 6:10.

In this course of practical meditation, we have spent quite a bit of time

establishing the awareness of myself as a soul. So I'm beginning to build a

picture of Who I am and as I begin to practice, a very lovely thing begins to

happen. I begin to see a sense of self mastery begin. Whereas before I felt a

victim of my inner world, as I start to create thoughts of myself, my mind cools

down. There's a sense that I'm taking back the authority of my inner world and

I begin to see and experience how peace is my natural state. Peace is intrinsic

to a quality of life. But not only peace, so is love. And probably a part of my

psychology is the nature to have relationship; it's built into me, into Who

I am. My experience over so many years of

teaching meditation, talking to people from all backgrounds, in all parts of the

world, is that when you start to explore these ideas and they begin to open up,

almost everybody has so many stories feelings, hurts and quite quite often

deep pain around relationship. There's just been so much in my past, in my

family and my relationships that still sits inside in an uncomfortable way.

Sometimes I ask the question: what has given me the most happiness in life? And

most people will say relationships. Next question: what has given me the most

sorrow? Is it the same answer? I think most would feel so and I think there's

so many crises in our world at the moment, there's a whole shopping list of them.

But for me, the main crisis is relationships. A life without love is not

a life at all and yet I think so many of our human family do not experience a

quality of love in life. We are watching for the first time in human history, the

breakdown of the family. In so many parts of the world, less than 50% of the

population live in a family, a traditional family, where the family

provides that nurture and support for my heart with belonging and care. We are

also in a time where there are so many mental health issues. In psychology, they

will have a lot of reasons for that. But I would say, from a spiritual

perspective, that when there's a lack of love in life, something doesn't work in

my mind and this is why we're beginning the next step of Raja yoga meditation.

The first step to realize I am an eternal soul. The second step is

that I am beginning to explore a relationship with another soul, a soul

that is pure. A soul that is divine. We could use the language the Supreme Soul

or even God. And the second step in meditation is beginning to link my mind

with the Divine, with the Supreme, with God. As I mention that, some may be

feeling wonderful; I have love for God and I want to explore this in more depth.

But others may be feeling nervous or uncomfortable. Actually, I can relate to

that because this is my background too. As a child, I felt that I carried some

impressions from religion that didn't make me feel comfortable with God. I saw

God as a very punishing, judgmental, authoritarian

figure and I suppose I just didn't want to connect. But I wanted to meditate. I was

searching for something but when God was mentioned, I really didn't want to engage

in that area. But I did explore it and what helped me was I separated religion

and God. Religion is the institutions that here in our world, that have given

so much benefit to so many people. But, for some of us, we want to separate the

experience or the understanding of God from religion and when I did, I found

that I began to explore this relationship. This relationship with the

Soul that will not cause me sorrow. A relationship with the Soul that will

never leave me. A relationship with the Soul that will never let me down. A

relationship with a Soul that will always keep my trust. This is a real

relationship. And the second step in Raja Yoga is a link of the soul with the

Supreme Soul. Yoga is this deep union, this absorption of my mind. Turning my

mind away from all the other distractions and influences, the past, the

anxiety of the future, people, situations and I rest my mind on a Being that is

full of love, full of peace and full of power. And this Being's influence will

start to reawaken the original experiences in the self. I would really

suggest you experiment for yourself and just see how you feel.

For more infomation >> 5.1 Self Mastery - Duration: 6:10.

-------------------------------------------

Scorpion' is peak Drake: overlong, self-obsessed and still fun - Duration: 10:49.

Drake's double album 'Scorpion' is peak Drake: overlong, self-obsessed and still fun Drake has spent the good part of a decade on a meticulous quest for hip-hop domination, and with it, his listeners' time

Flashy Super Bowl spots and "SNL" appearances, mixtapes and playlists in the off-months in between albums, eagerly-timed singles corresponding with song-of-the-summer season — the rapper knows that attention is currency, far more valuable to him than the handfuls of cash he handed out to strangers in his "God's Plan" video

That's why it's entirely unsurprising that Drake's new album "Scorpion," released Friday at midnight, is 25 songs

It's almost more surprising that all Drake albums aren't 20-plus tracks.Because there's nothing more prototypically Drake than believing that listeners will happily spend an hour and a half listening to "Scorpion," and the rest of the day trying to process it

It comes from the same impulse that compelled the rapper to, in "God's Plan," buy a grocery store's worth of people everything in their carts

To Drake, "Scorpion" isn't just a new release — it's a gift, an entire extra album's worth of songs, bestowed upon listeners, with the expectation that we won't be able to look away

And to ensure that his new release would dominate the headlines the day after, Drake added the hot gossip that fans were hoping for — mainly, about the child that Pusha-T alleged Drake was "hiding" in his diss track "The Story of Adidon

"On "Scorpion," Drake isn't hiding anything related to his son, peppering in references throughout the album and dedicating a song to him, "March 14

""Yesterday morning was crazy," he raps, seemingly describing the process of realizing that he was going to be a dad

"I had to come to terms with the fact that it's not a maybe / That (expletive) is in stone, sealed and signed / She's not my lover like Billie Jean, but the kid is mine / Sandi used to tell me all it takes is one time / (Expletive) we only met two times

Two times / And both times were nothing like the new times / Now it's rough times/ I'm out here on front lines just tryna make sure that I see him sometimes

It's breaking my spirit / A single father, I hate when I hear it / I used to challenge my parents on every album / Now I'm embarrassed to tell them I ended up as a co-parent / Always promised the family unit / I wanted it to be different because I've been through it / But this is the harsh truth now

"More: Drake responds to blackface controversy on Pusha T's diss track in long-running feud On "Emotionless," Drake flips Pusha-T's "hiding a child" claim, attempting to set the record straight

"I wasn't hiding my kid from the world, I was hiding the world from my kid," he raps

"From empty souls who just wake up and look to debate / Until you staring at your seed, you could never relate

"Beyond "Scorpion's pot-stirring, fans can expect a better album than his chilly 2016 release "Views

"While Drake is similarly fixated on rapping about his wealth, his enemies and his self-preservation, he seems to have shaken his dancehall fixation, re-introducing R&B as his sonic template of choice for many of "Scorpion"s best moments

The bad news is that "Scorpion's gems are scattered throughout the album's 25 songs, a whole six tracks more than "Views' already-overlong tracklist

The album is split into a "side A," dominated by harder, gloomier "Views"-style beats, with the notable exceptions of the now-familiar "God's Plan" and the rousing Mariah Carey-sampling "Emotionless;" and a "side B," the more compelling half of the album that features a collection of tracks primed for summer, including an unreleased Michael Jackson vocal on "Don't Matter to Me," handclaps and '80s synths on the nostalgic "Summer Games," the goofy banger that is "Rachet Happy Birthday" and his current single "Nice for What," which still manages to be listenable after endless loops on the radio

Drake could lose half of "Scorpion's songs and have an excellent album, but he doesn't have incentive to cut any tracks, considering the massive streaming numbers "Views" did, thanks to its lengthy tracklist and inclusion of his previous singles

Why make a 13-song album for the sake of artistic tidiness, his logic goes, when he can give his fans the movie-length album he really thinks they want? Still, it's preferable to Kanye West's confounding 7-song "Ye," which left listeners wondering if there were better songs left on the cutting room floor that could've redeemed his forgettable album

Scorpion is entirely too long, but at least there's a good album in between its filler tracks, as opposed to "Ye," which left no margin for error in its 25-minute-long runtime

Drake's thirst for listeners' attention may know no bounds, but at least with "Scorpion," there's a mostly-worthy album that results from it

I Love This Song! is a Friday guide to the week's new (or newish) albums, mixtapes, playlists, singles, loosies, collaborations, and/or diss tracks

Drake hit us with a 25-song-long album last night, and while discussing the length of albums is as banal as talking about the weather: Ye's was so short! Drake's is so long! Tierra Whack only needed 15 minutes to best them all! — 25 songs is a lot

My God, Drake. What are you doing to us?.Still, many persisted and stayed up to listen to the 90-minute project debut, which dropped at midnight

Others, well, they lived their lives - did a face mask, went to bed, probably woke up to read about the album - and now they know a few things: Drake is no longer hiding a child

He brought back Michael Jackson for a feature. Jay-Z popped up. Drake is in his feels

But here's one thing they don't know: Is the album any good?.On Scorpion, Drake's good songs can be categorized into two buckets: bops — songs that make you wanna dance, know your worth, make bad decisions (usually Drake at his most Caribbean) and LiveJournals: thoughts from the most emo recesses of Drake's brain

This album is long on feels, short on bops, and gets boring. It's sort of good, but is a lot to parse through

So for those of use who do not have time, stamina, or psychic space for all 90 minutes of Drake's feelings today, here's a condensed list of what's good on the album (and a few good new songs if you've got Drake fatigue):

Let's do the emotional work and start with LiveJournals:.The internet fame machine pumps out music stars on the regular — Justin Bieber, Post Malone, Cardi B — but few truly embody the internet in the way that Drake does

The man is a walking meme; our mockery or admiration of the Toronto rapper is forever buoyed to the top of our feeds

Drake is the internet — and he hates it.For stans, this is nothing new: perennial Sad Boy that he is, Drake has always loved talking (and rapping, and singing) about how much technology and the internet only serves to alienate us from each other

It always feels a little cheesy when Drake spits it, but he can get away with it, because he usually taps into something real

If nothing else, his confessions about how technology affects his relationships are messy enough to start conversations

(In "0 to 100," for example, he talks about the fear that a partner will get upset if she keeps scrolling through the pictures on his phone

) Scorpion, which was released last night, blows past Drake's typical weariness of technology and morphs it into something darker

Drake isn't just tired of the internet. He's having an existential crisis over it

He is entrenched in the internet because he has to be, but he doesn't know what to do with it

It fuels him and tears him apart in equal measure.You feel this exasperation while listening to the double album, which, at 25 songs and 89 minutes long, ends up feeling like work

It's not that the record is bad; there's just so much of it, and Drake sounds capital-D Done throughout

Wading through it feels like reading a meandering YouTube vlog, or a too-revealing Tumblr post that, despite its faults, still captivates you anyway

More than once, he wonders whether he might only get his due after he's dead. More than once, he questions who his friends are and what lovers want from him

For more infomation >> Scorpion' is peak Drake: overlong, self-obsessed and still fun - Duration: 10:49.

-------------------------------------------

Self Esteem is Key to Your Career | Hi Tough Cookie - Duration: 1:46.

My friend who worked for a while, suddenly was blamed by his new manager because the

new manager thought he didn't deserve his salary.

I have to say, leave them, stop listening to crap!

You deserve that price, but it's not worth paying for that boss!

Signing a contract, means the recruiter and company all say yes to your price, so they

bought you.

They admire your educational background and you also passed the test and interview, you

beat some candidates so your talent and ability absolutely deserve that price.

There is no need to always blame yourself when somebody scolds you.

Sometimes people in this field don't accept you, that's not because you are nothing.

Sometimes they just don't know your value.

If your classmates don't like you on Facebook, how about creating an open account on Insta?

How many people do you know in your life?

Then, did you know a ton of strangers are waiting for you to introduce yourself?

Some people don't buy you, come on who cares?

If you doubt yourself, then you have already lost this game in your life.

Trust me

Never doubt yourself

Find your own buyer!

Hi, Tough Cookie

For more infomation >> Self Esteem is Key to Your Career | Hi Tough Cookie - Duration: 1:46.

-------------------------------------------

5.1 Developing Self-Mastery and the Link with the Supreme - Duration: 7:27.

In the subject of meditation, we're specifically looking at Raj Yoga

meditation. The term is a very interesting one; yoga, everybody's heard

the word yoga across the world. But yoga actually means to unite, to join things

together. And when we talk about Raj Yoga and we're talking about that yoga, which

is able to give mastery over the self. And so firstly, when I come to the

awareness of who I am, then in that state I'm able to be the

master of my physical senses and then of course the things that we spoken of in

detail, mastery over my thoughts, my feelings, my awareness, my understanding,

and then further, mastery even over my own personality traits. But Raj Yoga also

has another concept and that is the understanding of the Divine. And so, to

have mastery over the self is one aspect of Raja, the king, the sovereign, but it

also refers to the fact that this is the meditation in which we are actually

having a connection, that Yoga, union with the Supreme, the Highest of all, the

Supreme Being, the One whom we sometimes call God. I know that people are a little

bit allergic to this term, but is an important concept to look at. Definitely,

you can meditate without thinking of a Supreme. Just simply meditation on the

self and coming back to that inner space in which I discover who I am and I'm

able to connect with my own highest qualities and allow that transformation

to work is actually possible, just simply by the self. But it's hard work.

And what makes it a lot easier is if I can connect with a source of external

power, power which is absolutely altruistic and full of goodness and

benevolence, with no other motive except simply to be able to give and purify. And

that is the being we described as God. But if you don't believe in God, it's

fine. Continue to meditate please, it'll help

you a lot. And just that awareness of the inner being will change your responses

to people around you and therefore also then their responses to you. But maybe

you'll be interested to listen to some of the ideas that we'd like to share.

Because there's been a lot of misinformation about the subject of God.

And I know that I myself was born in a Hindu tradition and those ideas really

didn't make much sense to me. I was also brought up in England with an

a Christian education. At first, in fact, until the age of eleven, convent schools

both in India and in England but after that just what they call CoE, Church of

England school. And what we find, within all of these things, is that again there

are ideas that are being shared, that we are told we mustn't challenge. Whether

it's in the east or the west. In the East, they say to you, well it's in the

scriptures and the scriptures are the final authority. And so you have to

believe. And in the West, they tell you, well it's a mystery. And so you just have

to accept, you can't challenge it and there are no answers available. And so

given those two positions, I found myself in a situation in which I really didn't

think I needed to know anything more about this subject until I was maybe

retired and had not else to do except sit back in an rocking

chair and think about these things. But fortunately, I came across these

teachings when I was just starting University and had the time and space to

give a little bit of possibility to exploring new ideas. And these are things

that I'd like to share with you. And listen with an open mind and yes,

definitely ask questions but also experiment with the concepts. And once

you've been able to experiment with these ideas, you'll be able to decide for

yourself what is comfortable for you or not. The practice of soul consciousness,

in the way that's being described earlier, there are two different

practices that are important: one is the practice where I'm talking and walking,

I'm seeing, I'm doing but I, the soul sit here and I experience myself as the

master of this physical form, this chariot of mine. So that is very much

soul consciousness. The other is when I have the opportunity just to sit quietly,

and no other distractions and I go on this inner journey and I actually

experiment with the idea of focusing my attention just on that being that I am,

the soul and going deeper and deeper inside, connecting with the truth that

lies within, but also coming to that awareness in which I can actually feel I,

the soul, I'm a totally separate entity, independent of this physical form. So

it's two things working together, soul and body.

And so yoga, union that perfect harmony and alignment, where I know I'm a soul

but I'm the master of this body. So Raja Yoga, the sovereign of this body

and if I been practicing this awareness both in meditation as well as through

activity, then when I get to the next subject of exploring the consciousness

of the Divine, the Supreme, it's very easy to come to an understanding that can

allow me to resonate with it. But also then to be able to actually connect and

experience who the Supreme is.