Oh
So let me ask you some questions as you begin to look out on the future look out
on this year let's take personal inventory what has brought you here as
you begin to look at the things that took place this past year did you get
out of it what you wanted did you achieve the goals that you set out to
achieve what part of your life well what things that you do that you don't want
to be a part of your life are there any people as you begin to look at your life
and look at where you want to go and what you want to do are there any people
that might be some dead weight that you need to think about unloading because
what you have found through that relationship that it's more toxic than
it is nourishing it's more debilitating than it is empowering and so now you've
got to make a decision see if many of us won't be able to move
forward because we're not taking true inventory of our lives as you begin to
look at your emotional your spiritual and intellectual development how many
books did you read how many seminars did you attend how many classes that you
take to begin to develop yourself professionally to improve your craft or
your skill how many new things that you learn just take some personal inventory
just thinking just thinking just thinking beginning to know yourself one
of the things about your past that has influenced you right now what's your
philosophy of life what are your beliefs things that you feel very strongly about
what are some of the things that you have picked up along the way that you've
been doing them for so long you think that they're you that you need to begin
to re-examine them and perhaps get them out of your life see a lot of things
we're doing we do unconsciously because we picked it up somewhere in life a
friend of mine out of Chicago named RIA Steele I was at her house to have dinner
Andrea who was born in Chicago has a tremendous Southern drawl after I've met
her mother I said where did real get her Southern drawl from she said my sisters
came up from Kentucky and they used to be her babysitter and she picked it up
while in their presence and real still has that draw what is it
that you picked up somewhere in life that maybe me might be a liability to
you what fear what believes that you're holding on to tenaciously that's no
longer allowing your life to work it's not enabling you to produce the results
that you want to produce in your life and you're still clinging to them see as
we go into new world there's some old behaviors that just won't fit what are
the events what are the circumstances what are the people that have shaped you
just thinking just thinking one of the things that you need to let go some
things that have cost you pain that's stifling your growth and
development what are those things as you begin to look at your profession or your
career what is it that you need to do to begin to upgrade your skills or your
knowledge to continue for you to be competitive in the marketplace as you
begin to look at yourself and ask some of these questions what is something
that you're good at are you living your passion are you living your dream what
do you regard is your greatest personal achievement what is the one thing that
other people can do to make you most happy let's think about these things
what would you do if you had one year to live and guaranteed success and anything
you decided to do what would that be
what would you do with your life if you had it to live over
getting to know yourself what is one value one deep commitment from which you
would never bulge what is one cause that you would like to become involved in to
make a difference on the planet I work in the Cook County Jail in Chicago it
gives my life a great deal of joy and fulfillment have you found something
like that in your life that you could enjoy doing working with people I have a
friend that's working with physically handicapped people she said it's been
the most rewarding experience she's ever had she used to be a constantly
depressed individual always feeling sorry for herself it has changed her
life she's a grateful person she's found something that she's lost herself in
what is your biggest setback failure or defeat of the past year what is it about
you if someone who really knew they wouldn't get into a relationship with
you
now don't go tell it but once you acknowledge what that is then start
working on it and changing it change that it's easy to blame the other person
but start taking ownership for where you are are you proud of how you have been
living your life have you explored your natural talents your gifts by
enthusiastically trying a variety of activities ladies and gentlemen a lot of
us have so much talent and abilities we just put them back on the back burner
just left them aside some please never did anything with them never brought
them out here used to do them extremely well in high
school or college or just had a natural gift and never did anything with it what
are you sitting on what gifts are you sitting on have you resign yourself to a
life feeling that nothing can be done to change your future or your circumstances
have you been afraid to try something different because you're afraid of how
people will react to you or what they will think those are some of the things
that I suggest that you begin to answer yourself now here are some things that I
suggest that you begin to look at working on to develop your character
some things that will give you some personal strength Webster says character
building activities he says character the pattern of behavior of personality
found in an individual or group moral strength self-discipline fortitude
that's what's going to be required in order to begin to manifest your
greatness now looking at yourself one of the things I'm suggesting you look at
what is it that you need to be in the process of doing more of a less of like
being more direct so I used to have a problem of not telling people what I
actually thought because I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings saying no
without feeling guilty more focused so I used to be the jack of all trades and
master of done just do a lot of things one year I decided to do one thing well
I looked at all of my talents and I decided the strongest one my ability is
a speaker that's the one I'm going to focus on but I'm capable of
doing a lot of other things but only when I decided to focus that I began to
reap the rewards of my talent and then after you do that you can begin to
expand and use the other talents that you have deciding to keep your word if
you just decide I'm going to keep my word if I say something I'm going to do
it regardless being more considerate more trusting more discipline being less
fearful being more adventurous find something that you can look at your life
that you say hey I know I've got a problem in this area being late I need
to take care of that procrastinating I need to deal with that not taking care
of business being seriously not serious creating an imbalance in my life where
I'm spending more time looking at television or having social fun and not
spending enough time working on me see most people ladies and gentlemen spend
more time working on their jobs and they'd spend working on themselves they
work harder on their jobs and they work on themselves and whatever we achieve in
life whatever we create whatever we able to manifest comes out of the human mind
now I want you to think about five things as if you had the courage to do
them it will give you a feeling of satisfaction and self-respect think of
five things that if you had the courage to do those things you would feel a
tremendous feeling of satisfaction within and self-respect
take the time to write those things down whatever they might be to you it might
be in your personal life it might be in your your friendships your family
relationships might be in your business I was negotiating with a friend of mine
that I admire a great deal and this person went back on their agreement and
I did not challenge them on it number one because of my admiration for her
number two because I really wanted the business and I think she sensed that so
I didn't want to seem too picky and I was nervous about it and I was cowardly
because I should have said listen that's not what we agreed to
I should have called her on that but I didn't want to look bad or it appear to
be negative or risk losing the business look at five things that if you had the
courage to do those things that you would do those things a lot of people
say well I've been like this all my life I just can't change her this is the way
I am dr. Harrell Griswold a psychologist and author of direct decision therapy
said something he says when someone says I can't change some part of them wants
to change but the payoffs for his present behavior are greater than the
payoffs for a changed behavior or his fear of change is too great ladies and
gentlemen it takes courage to live your dreams it takes courage to manifest your
greatness it takes courage to decide to live to decide to bring out all of your
talents and abilities to decide to stretch out decide to take a chance it
takes courage to be happy just to be you I saw a friend who I hadn't seen for a
long time her whole personality has changed she was an extroverted assertive
person but because her husband has a fragile ego when she's around him she
caught on to him she plays to him she's very silent she
doesn't express herself her feelings and there are many things she wants to do
but before she even make a decision of what she wants to do she checks you know
how will he handle this how will he see this will this be disruptive in our
relationship a lot of us readjust our behavior and we end up not being who we
really are in deference to relationships men and women looking at the word
courage Webster says the attitude of facing and dealing with anything
recognized as dangerous difficult or painful instead of withdrawing from it
as you begin to look at where you want to go and take personal inventory it's
going to be very uncomfortable that's why most people don't do it it's very
painful to admit your shortcomings to admit your weaknesses it's very painful
to do that it's much easier to withdraw from that and just ignore it he goes on
to the courage of one's convictions the courage to do what one thinks is right
as you begin to look at yourself and look at where you want to go with your
life it's very important for you to ask yourself a question as you look at
various areas of your life is what you are doing right now is it giving you
what you want if it's not giving you what you want it's going to take courage
to decide to do something differently it takes courage to enjoy yourself what are
some of the self-defeating behaviors that we become involved in that prevent
most people from enjoying themselves some people develop the what's the use
attitude why bother some people have the I really
don't care and they convince themselves that they don't care and they don't feel
anything and after a while they really don't feel anything their lives are
empty some people say well it's really not worth the hassle just too hard it
doesn't bother me anymore the fact that I'm not living out my dream the fact
that I'm capable of doing more and I'm not doing it the fact
that I'm content but I'm not fulfilled the fact that I'm not living my dream
Tom Ruskin Randi read in a book called I want to change but I don't know how said
people go through life many times playing it safe he says that's the
secret hope that they say to themselves if I never let myself feel too good
maybe I'll never get hurt too badly a lot of people don't ever do the things
they're capable of doing because they allow themselves to go along with the
crowd following the crowd many people have things they want to do
and and they find themselves in relationships with people who are
addicted to mediocrity and they allow their behavior to influence their
behavior following the crowd many people don't do it because of the fact that
they allow their lack of self-confidence to immobilize them I remember when I
wanted to go into business for years that was an agonizing thought in my mind
I wouldn't try because I didn't believe that I could make it now the five things
that you would like to do if you had the courage to do I want you to pick one
thing pick one and here's how to set it up for yourself that will help free you
and get you unstuck what is the worst thing that could happen if you do it so
what's the worst thing that can happen let's say going into business for
yourself or changing careers or getting a divorce
taking some kind of chance of something that you've always thought about doing
but you just haven't done it for whatever reason what's the worst thing
that can happen do the worst case scenario now when you do the worst case
scenario you write those things down the worst things that you fear would happen
when you name your fears that put you in control what are you afraid of name it
write it out so you can look at it confront that fear what is it I'm afraid
that things might work out what else last night well I've never been in
business okay what else less time well I don't have all the help I need okay good
what else less well I don't have enough money alright good what else
let's what I don't have a college degree uh what else I'm not as good as those
other guys that I've seen her best speaking okay what else well that's all
I can think of right now okay good now that takes you to the next step what are
the benefits one of the benefits of your acting courageously taking life on well
part of what happened was that I felt better within myself and I had a strong
sense of self-respect going into business for myself I've made a lot of
mistakes sometimes I was down on myself I felt stupid I felt dumb because people
who were in business said why would you do something like that well I didn't
know boy boy were you really dumb and I used to chime in with him yes I guess I
was I didn't know any better but the other thing is I had to say to myself
but I did it I did even if I made a flop of it I did it I took the chance I took
the leap what are the benefits of your acting courageously whatever it is that
you've identified right the benefits down and then focus on them focus on the
benefits not on the liabilities not on your fears focus on the benefits that
which you hold in consciousness tends to manifest itself think about how good you
feel think about the level increased self-respect the sense of self-worth
that you feel how good you feel getting up in the morning looking yourself in
the mirror because you're taking life on the other thing is acknowledge your
fears and then go into action this book it's called feel the fear and do it
anyway that's it see I believe anybody who's ever done anything who's ever
taken a chance doesn't mean that they are not afraid
courageous does not mean being the absence of fear I think that being
courageous is willing to do it because that's what you've
you're gonna do it anyhow regardless you're not going to be immobilized by
your fears or your doubts you admit okay I'm scared to death now okay what is it
that I must choose to do go ahead on experience that fear but don't let that
fear immobilize you in what you've done with your life thus far is it giving you
what you want is it giving you what you want when you look toward the future
when you look at all of this going on out here
is there someplace within yourself you say hey I know I need to be out there in
that arena I know I can do more than what I've been doing I know there's some
great music that I have within me that I haven't brought out here is that
something that you begin to look at within yourself so I used to do that and
I used to go to big rallies and see guys up speaking when I wasn't courageous
enough to go out there and say hey my name is les brown the motivator made me
a Browns boy I want to talk I would never do that I just was I just be back
there looking at him and want to get their autograph it would say can I can I
meet you mister mr. Whitley or miss can I meet mr. Zig Ziglar please tell him
who are you let's Brown because I felt within myself I was analyzed they want
my to go talk to these guys and go get their autographs I'd like to do what you
do see I say if you look at your life and if you're not getting what you want
you owe it to yourself to do something differently you are if you're on a job
85% they say of Americans go to jobs that they're unhappy if you're doing
something eight hours a day that you don't like it's not giving you what you
want it's not giving you a strong feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment
you're miserable you hate to go there you're depressed just thinking about it
you're saying they thank God it's Friday song every week
it's giving you headaches just thinking about it on Sunday afternoon after the
football game goes off if that's what it is you owe it to yourself to start
strategically working to change directions see but you know what most
people will do most people will resist change
most people will fight change as if change would be worse than what they're
experiencing see they know this they're familiar with this most people will not
challenge the unknown they won't just step out there see this well see there's
certain things has got to be in place they got to see it all together and life
isn't like that that's not how you grow so as you look at your life you're
saying I'm not getting what I want as you begin to look toward the future
begin to know that whatever it takes for you to create that you've got that in
you you got that you've got genius in you you've got goodness in you you've
got creativeness in you if you decide to take the initiative to change the
current quality of your life I say to you that you will find that the universe
is on your side that life is on your side now will it be turbulent yes would
it be easy no no will you have some opposition yes will I make a lot of
mistakes yes will I get hurt yes yes see a lot of people won't try anything
different like because they don't want to get hurt let me tell you something
it's too much pain too doc pain is everywhere you can hide under here it
will come where you are I'm really if I go back here pay to come
hey les come on out it will come it's everywhere Viktor Frankl calls it
unavoidable suffering you can't duck it but most people spend their life not
wanting to deal with the pain of rejection the pain of defeat the pain of
being disappointed the pain of losing the pain of failure the pain of being
criticized the pain of not being liked the pain the pain the pain that's called
life life is full of pain it's everywhere but guess what there's no
gain without pain now if you're gonna hurt anyhow get some yardage out of it
because it's the pain of regret that you experience if I had it to do over again
that's a pain don't you know that's um when you know I was in a seminar once
and this ladies stood up if I had my life to live over again she talked about
all of the things that she would do and you can feel the pain of regret in her
voice the pain of regret she still experienced pain she was
trying not to experience the pain of defeat the pain of disappointment the
pain of loss the pain of lack of support and she still experienced pain it was
right there we can't get around it most people are governed by their habits
their fears and the opinions of others a lot of people never try anything
differently because they have been convinced by people in their lives that
they value that they can't do it they're living within the context of the
opinions that other people have of them the low expectations many people doubt
themselves because when they thought about doing something at some critical
point in their lives somebody they respected and honored somebody they
believed in somebody that they loved someone they trust it said you can't do
that and they accepted that that's why I didn't go off to college I had an
instructor that I believed who said you're not college material mr. Brown
you're not as smart as your brother Wesley or your sister Margaret Ann
you're not college material why don't you try and get you a job at the post
office
try and do something with your hand we'll go down to the Miami City
sanitation department is he can you get a job there oh why don't you try and go
into the army I took that test mister tell us already what happened I fail I
told you anybody failed army tests you really in trouble
so I went down to the Sanitation Department to try and get a job because
that's what I believed was possible for me as you look at your life ask yourself
the question what would your life be like what would your life look like if
you decided not to care what people thought of you what would your life be
like if you decided to give up some of your fears what would your life be like
if you decided to become courageous what would your life be like if you decided
to act on your dream if you did what you felt in your heart you know what
courageous means tom ruskin and randy reid said they said that courage comes
from a French word which means of the heart that how does it feel to you he
says such courage you know it takes courage to live since most people go
through life not allowing themselves to step out because they don't want to let
go they don't want to be blown around they don't want to be moved the courage
to face life's whirling wind of contradictions the courage to love
yourself the courage to love for years I was afraid to love the courage to take a
chance the courage to be who you are
he says courage isn't for somebody else for metals applause immoral debts
courage is what at that moment feels most right for you
not just situational ethics but what feels right in your heart the word of
the heart what feels right in your heart one great philosopher says cowards die
many times before their deaths the valiant never taste of death but
once what does that mean that valiant people aren't afraid no no no it means
that they experience that fear and they move forward they move forward any how
many people are dead now many people allowing their dreams to die many people
applying the ideas to lie dormant and collect dusts many people have all this
talent and ability that they are lying to be embedding side of them that they
will take with them to their graves because they didn't have the courage to
be who they are and I say as you begin to look to all the future and
manifesting your greatness it's going to take everything in you everything in you
that your life deserves the concentrated effort to begin to look at how is it
that I can express more of me how is it that I can bring my ideas out here now
how is it and start living with a sense of urgency because you're here today
you're gone today life is unpredictable it's uncertain there are no guarantees
no guarantees out here at all so holding back what are you waiting on ask
yourself what's the benefit of your waiting what's the benefit of your not
living your dream what's the benefit of not listening to yourself
oh please listen to yourself you know the feelings if you start listening to
the feelings in your heart and I'm doing it Nam more every day I find that my
feelings I can trust them and I say to you that as you look toward the future
you looked at life on a daily basis if there's something that you have been
given if you've heard something within yourself that you know that that what
you're doing now it doesn't fit for you it doesn't work
you it's not giving you what you want and there's something else that you want
to do don't allow that inner doubt in you to talk you out of it to build a
case on why you can't have it to tell you why you're not good enough you
ignore that inner voice and all of the external voices don't judge the
possibilities for what you can do based upon the circumstances because the
circumstances won't determine who you are don't determine what you're able to
do based upon your resources don't determine what's possible for you based
upon where your life is right now where your life is right now is not you that's
just what it is right now but the possibilities for you are unlimited if
you're in a rebuilding process it's unlimited if you're coming back from
adversity and devastation it's unlimited of what you can do
that's the capacity of human beings it doesn't matter how many mistakes you've
made doesn't matter how many flops you've had doesn't matter how much money
you've lost in fact I see it only as an investment what you learn from life not
losses but investments of what's possible for you and I say to you that
once you start listening to yourself and as you begin to act on your dream as you
start just trying to find your way doing what you can what you have you will
start seeing things opening up for you start attracting people you say where
they come from things will start coming together clicking for you say whoa you
start brainstorming ideas will come out of nowhere as you focus on it the key to
it is to begin to focus on what it is you want to do why less why is that
important because as you focus on that which you want to do that which we focus
on that which we give our energy to it will begin to multiply it will begin to
expand it will begin to develop your consciousness and out of that comes your
greatness out of that comes a commitment out of that comes a passion for life out
of that comes a special power that you have in you that you haven't even called
on yet see the powers that we have will never reveal themselves if we don't
challenge them if we don't put ourselves in a position
where we have to use them so one of the most important things is reading a book
that's a really interesting book called instant millionaire and the guy said put
yourself in a position where you can't retreat where it's do-or-die sink or
swim here's what you find out you'll develop
incredible swimming skills or swallow half the pool of life you'll find
yourself stroking on like you've ever seen before through the inspiration of
desperation you become more creative than ever before so what is it how do we
handle that whole piece throw your whole self into it see most people go at it
tentatively they don't give all their stuff they don't concentrate they don't
put everything they've got in them one guy wrote a book called all you can do
is all you can do and all you can do is enough but he said make sure you do or
you can do and if we honest this evening we know that we haven't done all we can
do so as we look at the future we can decide that from this day forward as I
look at my personal relationships if I look at my professional relationships if
I look at my family relationships if I look at all the dimensions of my life
looking at myself mentally emotionally and spiritually I'm going to do all I
can do to develop me to bring my talent out here to make a contribution to life
I don't know what you want to do here's what I know about you you got
greatness within you as you look toward the future and developing your greatness
begin to know that your life is worth the effort is the easy no is it worth it
yes yes your life is worth
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