So last week we talked about planning. Planning. And how do you basically make
some decisions. And we touched on the Fourth Fifth Sixth Ray about how you put
things together, you can really take them apart. But the planning process is
something where we were talking about you basically plan three times knowing
your first two are incorrect. And not a failure, they're just simply something
probably isn't correct about how the pieces go together. So plan once, you
step back, you look at your plan, you realize can't do this and you make
adjustments. But there's a another aspect of this that is really kind of valuable
in the planning process to give yourself an awful lot of freedom. Most people
basically start talking with somebody about doing something and there appears
to be a blockage in where you want it to go-- the other person doesn't want to go
to the movies and you do want to go to the movies, that type of a thing. So
there's a really interesting concept that if you recognize you can always go
to "no." You can always go to no. You can always say, no that doesn't work for
me. But you can't always go to yes. And so it's an interesting thing if when you
know you can say no you have a tremendous amount of freedom and
permission to say, well tell me some more. How would it work? What would I have to
do? Get more information about it. Give me some more information. Tell the story that you
tell when you talk about this in class. Sure, in class we talk about this. So, so
there's a woman sitting here really attractive woman to me and I say to her
"Gee, you really look nice and would you like to go to the Caribbean with me?" and
she looks at me and goes, "No!" No, okay. So I see another attractive woman there
who was real interesting and I say, "Would you like to go to the Caribbean with me?"
and she says, "Give me a little bit more information."
Tell me more. So, well, I have just sold my business and I have a new condominium
and I'm really looking to go and enjoy myself and I'd like to go with somebody.
Oh that's really interesting, well tell me some more. So do I have my own room?
Yes, there's plenty of room. Do I have to have sex? No, not unless you want to. The
point is: tell me more. When would we do this, how much would it
cost me to go? It won't cost you anything, I've got all this money. All of a sudden
the offer seems to be really very interesting. May work, it may not work. But
the first woman said no. Never even got to hear the possibilities, using a sexist
simple silly story, but the point is pretty clear.
Same thing with: I would like to have some experiences, I would like to go on
vacation. Husband, wife talking about how do we make this happen? What's possible?
So when you understand you can always go to no and you start to embrace it in
your concept, in your planning, the ability to plan a couple of times, the
ability to say, "Tell me more, how is it possible?" when the great question is: How
would it be possible? The reason it's a great question is, there is-- the answer "No"
doesn't fit into "How would it be possible?" Well how would it possible? No,
you can't do this. Well I know I can't do it but if I could do it how would it be
possible? And the person can't keep saying no because there's --it's not a
yes/no question. And quite often the person will simply say, well I guess you
could do this. And in that context I remember a long time ago I got a ticket
or at least I got stopped, and I said to the cop, how would it be possible that
you don't give me a ticket? Well you were doing whatever. I know and, but how would
it be possible just to give me a warning? And I asked two or three times and
finally he said, all right, whatever. You know, slow down, or whatever.
To be careful. And no ticket .So this ability to basically recognize you can
always go to no, ask the question how would it be possible,
give yourself some freedom. Well exploring any new thing or exploring any
decision, that strategy allows for more. It allows for greater understanding and
the, the piece I'm thinking of is, look-- going for a job and checking out a
company to work for. And so you, you, most people find out about the company before
they walk in the door or apply for the interview and they they want to fi--
can I work here? Mm-hmm. Yeah and a lot of times if you go in to
that situation from the 'how would it be possible and I can always go to no' is,
you start interviewing the person about why I would want to work here, rather
than giving up your seniority and have them ask you all kinds of questions, some
of which you'll answer which in their game plan is the wrong answer.
But you could have said it a whole nother way, so the process is: know you can
go to no, and you ask a better question. And it's really amusing when you start
to play the game of: can we do this? what would it take? You know: "How can I
convince you to go with me to the Caribbean?" type of thing. It's freeing.
Yeah. And coupled with planning two or three times, asking a better question,
knowing you can go to no, really opens up the ability to enjoy your exploration
without having to come to a conclusion right from the very beginning
without having a full exploration. Okay now these may sound like simple little
concepts but the simple concept gives you a huge range of freedom that without
the simple concept many people don't know how to get out of
the box that they're in, and consequently can't answer the question: how would I
like to experience myself? How would I like to create? You stay stuck.
This is very much an 'unsticking' set of concepts. I don't think that's a word.
I just made that up. How would it be possible that it could become a word? How would it be possible? So
hopefully this is helpful. These little strategies, these little concepts really
begin to be the linchpins that unloosen the 'stuckness,' the limitations that we
put ourselves in. And again, this Shift is providing really, really fascinating
opportunities if you can step out of the noise and start to say, how would I like
to experience myself? So we'll stop there for today but we'll come back next week
with one more little strategy.
you
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