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Bipolar Disorder and Self-Love - Duration: 3:33.
Hey guys! It's Hannah.
We're at one of my favorite murals downtown right now. And I just love what this thing says.
And it's really cool and it relates to what we're talking about today,
which is self-love and bipolar disorder.
Self-love and bipolar disorder.
Why the hell is it so hard for us to love ourselves, right?
I want to hear your thoughts.
So please share that in the comments section or do a response video.
And the reason I really want to discuss this today
is because one of my girls who lives with bipolar one disorder,
and she's also an advocate, came over yesterday.
We had a ball.
I mean we were talking about all different kinds of ideas.
And having this unique perspective.
And we both understood each other.
And I looked at her at one point and I was like: "Are you ashamed to have bipolar disorder?"
And she was like: "No! Because it makes me part of who I am."
We are taught to hate this part of ourselves.
So it's like in order to take on self-love with bipolar disorder,
we have to unteach ourselves this.
Before my diagnosis of bipolar 2 disorder,
I had no freaking clue who I was
because I was always being pulled to be one thing or the other;
prom queen, athlete, a student.
You know, be this, be sturdy, be tough, be strong...
to the extent, and this is a really personal part of my story that I don't share often...
When the symptoms of bipolar 2 disorder started really coming up,
I covered the mirrors in my bathroom and in my room
and I didn't look at them for a very long time.
And it wasn't because I was like, "Oh my god! Like my nails don't look right."
Like I just don't even want to see myself.
No! It wasn't that.
I was just so disconnected from the image that I saw in the reflection.
Like I didn't understand who that was and why I hated it so much.
It was frustrating.
And as scary as the mental hospital was
and receiving the diagnosis of bipolar 2 disorder,
one thing that it did for me that I realize now is…
It was like a sense of relief to finally have this official thing
to justify the fact that I am different.
It's just the problem with that is that we're told to hate those differences.
I felt like my bipolar disorder was constantly trying to be erased.
Well, if you erase my bipolar from me, you erase me.
And I ain't trying to get erased anytime soon.
So embracing this part of you...
Looking in the mirror and saying...
I'm different. I'm bold. I'm beautiful and brave. I'm brilliant.
I have something unique to offer to this world.
Tell yourself that every day.
And build self-love and you're raw authentic self.
Because that's the most beautiful person you could possibly be.
Before I head out, I want to share with you one of my favorite quotes.
And it starts out with:
"There are parts of me that will always remain untamable, messy, and reckless;
but I refuse to apologize for it anymore."
Kaitlin Foster.
Thanks for tuning in.
I can't wait to see what you have to say.
And I'll see you next week. Bye.
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[ENG] [99 Second Self-PR] The Unit (더 유닛): Ahreum (Former T-ARA) - Duration: 1:44.
♪ I love you though my heart hurts ♪
♪ Though you are looking someplace else ♪
♪ Like a scarecrow ♪
♪ Like a sad doll ♪
♪ I will always be waiting ♪
Hi, hello~
If I were to describe myself
I joined T-ara as a new member in 2012,
left the group to pursue a solo career in 2013
And here I am meeting you after 4 years
My name is Han Ahreum
Do you remember the song I just sang?
The ones of you who know, might be happy hearing it for the first time in awhile
Of course there are some of you who don't know this song too
It's one of the songs I sang when I was active.
I tried to make it easier to recall me
How was it? Did you remember me a little?
I spent these years going through some rough times
But everyone has their own pains
So I was able to overcome those difficulties
And here I am ready for a new start.
From now on, regardless of the results
While getting rid of the past misunderstandings
I want to meet the fans who waited for me with a bright and healthy self
I wanted to show that closely, that's why I participated in The Unit.
I'll work hard so please show me a lot of love and interest.
Until now it's been Han Ahreum
Please support me, thank you~
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Why Self-Esteem Is Overrated - Duration: 11:36.
I think that everyone wants more confidence and higher self-esteem
and I know that I personally used to think about self-esteem as the pinnacle.
If you had high self-esteem, you're gonna get everything you wanted in your life
and I have since reversed on that position because I've seen that, actually, high self-esteem — when it becomes the focus —
can be detrimental and it absolutely has been to me.
So I want to share with you in this video a mindset that not only incorporates self-esteem but I think
supersedes it and is quite frankly, more important that you can incorporate.
In order to get there, I kind of have to talk about what self-esteem is and how it differs from regular confidence
so in order to do this, think of a scenario where you are approaching someone.
Now, this can be someone that you're interested in romantically, it could simply be that your standing at a party,
there's somebody next to you and you'd like to talk to them but that moment of anxiety kicks in.
The person who lacks confidence, their mindset is — "I will be kind to myself as long as this situation goes well. And I don't think it's going to go well."
So in the scenario where they do finally muster up the courage, their mental track is —
"You don't have anything interesting to say. They're probably not wanting to talk to you. Oh my god, that was dumb.
What will you say next? Don't say that; that's stupid." And of course, because they're thinking that,
they behave that and the interaction goes poorly and the cycle continues.
The person that has confidence actually has the same exact mindset which is — "I will be kind to myself as long as this goes well."
The difference is that they have practiced enough times that they think it's going to go well.
So maybe they've watched the channel, they know what they're going to say to
begin with, they have some things that will revive conversation if it goes stale,
and because of that — they feel good, they walk up with a smile on their face
and typically the interaction goes well, and that cycle continues. But of course,
it doesn't always and when it does, the person who lacks or just has confidence beats themself up
which is where we move to self-esteem and this is what I thought was everything.
Self-esteem isn't concerned with necessarily the outcome; it's concerned with the process.
The person with self-esteem says — "I will be kind to myself simply by living up to my own principles and values."
And if you're like me, your principles are authenticity, honesty, doing your best...
so as soon as they move to approach that individual, they have already won —
they're living up to their values, they're trying their best, and when they arrive
there whether or not they know what to say — they feel great, it radiates from them, and that interaction tends to go well;
that's why self-esteem is so powerful.
Now, it's been amazing. This is a level for me that changed my life.
This took me from in-a-job-that-I-didn't-like to pursuing something that I was truly passionate about.
It had me traveling the world with my best friends. It keeps me involved in activities
that quite frankly, I don't have a ton of natural talent in like music and I do it because I love it.
It's not about being really good; it's about the process and the enjoyment that I get.
But there's an issue with self-esteem and I have encountered it firsthand; it's that
sometimes we do not live up to our values — we don't walk up to that person,
we don't do what we should, we're not honest, we're not authentic, we don't try our best —
and in these situations, what I would do is beat myself up,
"Man, you let yourself down. You diminished your self-esteem there. You're not living up to your own values.
You got to do better next time. You have done better in the past but chop-chop, let's make it happen."
Now, I thought that this was great because this is kind of the stick that motivated me to achieve all of the things that I've achieved in my life.
But I started reading a little bit outside my circle and came across a concept that was very different and that I resisted
and it was this concept of self-love unconditionally.
The difference being that where self-esteem said, "I have to live up to my values,"
self-love was just because for no reason at all, you give yourself this feeling of love.
And I resisted it because I thought, "Wait a second.
All of the things that I've done in my life, I did because I was nervous that if I didn't do it, I was kind of gonna have to beat myself up."
I needed that punishment in order to drive action.
We all know that pain is probably the biggest motivator to change so if I just
keep self-loving myself — maybe I won't approach that person, maybe I won't
move to the next level, maybe I'll just sit and stagnate and heap self-love on myself and feel great but accomplish and do nothing and give nothing back to the world.
I was what I feared but I said, "Okay, I'm gonna experiment with it. If that's where I do wind up, I can always switch back,"
and I have to say it was amazing how things changed.
Far from blocking me from growth, I actually experienced a deeper level
of honesty, of authenticity, of trying my best, and
I want to give you some for-instance examples because it's not exactly intuitive.
So as I started being more self-loving if you will, what I've realized is that
there are certainly scenarios in which I don't do that approach thing that we discussed earlier.
Now, to give myself credit, I do it probably more than 99.9% of people on the planet —
I'm very outgoing, I'm very friendly, and when I see someone that I'm interested in, I oftentimes do that.
But there are certainly times when I don't and what I've realized is that
because I pin my self-esteem and I'd ride on that of doing what I know I should when I don't do it which is inevitable, I sometimes hide the reason for myself.
So for instance, I was in the gym. Sam Harris — who was a guy, if you don't know him, who's an intellectual and I look up to him —
was walking down the stairs and rather than say anything, "Hey, Sam, I like book.
Hey, Sam, I've got this channel. Would you like to participate?" — anything — "Hey," I kept quiet.
And as I did, I kind of just justified it in my head which is — "I'm not a super fan
of his and he is busy. He's got his headphones in or whatever," I didn't want to do it.
As I came back to a place of self-love, what I first realized was —
one, in that moment of course if I was in a self-loving place, I would've just said,
"Hey, man, totally random — I know you're busy. I love your book; it's amazing," and let him go on with his day
or maybe I would have said, "By the way, I have this channel; we're doing a breakdown. Would you like to participate?" Who knows?
But I would have been more authentic and more honest.
And that happens in many other situations.
Another thing that I noticed about myself as I started this self-love
that didn't occur to me when I was just on this level of self-esteem is that I have
pervasive validation-seeking behaviors and they're subtle but they're there.
So for instance, I noticed I was out in a public place, I was talking, cracking jokes,
and I'll perhaps crack a joke with a dark sense of humor and some of the people
will laugh but they'll be one person who doesn't and what I've noticed as I come from a place of self-love and self-acceptance is that
I have a tendency to focus on that person rather than the other people who are laughing; meaning that I will spend more time almost trying to win that person over,
to show them that I'm a good guy rather than just hanging out with the people that I click with and I enjoy with that like my sense of humor
and I'm not saying this person is necessarily a killjoy but I will just be subtly
drawn to them so that the people in the room can have a high opinion of me.
And this didn't occur to me — this is important — at the level of self-esteem.
And I think the reason is because I pinned my self-esteem on authenticity and honesty and when there was little breaches of that, I could correct them.
But this is a pervasive big breach that invades and creeps into so many of my interactions in tiny little ways.
And to accept that, that on a fundamental level there's an inauthenticity, would crush my self-esteem — that is not living up to my value.
But when I come from a place of self-love and self-acceptance instead,
I'm able to see that and now I can adjust and I see it again, I've been dating more,
and one of the things that I noticed is I have a tendency to feel guilty when the date doesn't go well
and I feel this tendency to force a second date so that that other person... I don't know... feels good or whatever rather than simply saying,
"Not a match. Nothing wrong with them. Nothing wrong with me. Let's move on and not waste any more of either of our time."
There's this sense of guilt in there and again that's not authentic so I didn't, I think, address it from a level of self-esteem.
I tell you these examples to say that I thought that coming from a place of self-love was going to lead to stultify growth and it couldn't be more the opposite.
I have felt myself more honest, more authentic, and more like I'm trying my honest
best from this place of self-love then from this place of as-long-as-I-live-up-to-my-values. Now let me be clear, self-esteem is awesome.
Absolutely have values and principles and things that are important to you.
I needed that phase in order to drive to those things so I could clarify that,
"Yes, authenticity does matter to me." Confidence. Know your strategies.
It's cool to have domain-level confidence. What I'm suggesting is that you implement at the base of all of this —
this level of bedrock self-love which is unconditional — for no reason at all.
I don't care how badly you fail; I don't care if you don't try.
That level of self-love will not only make you just feel nice, it will actually push you
to be your best self in ways that are truly and, have been for me, mind-boggling.
Now, this video is already getting long. I want to give you things that you can do
to begin to implement this so I have two recommendations and one announcement.
The first is to say that there are two audiobooks I want to recommend — courtesy of our sponsor Audible who sponsored this video.
Those are Love Yourself like Your Life Depends on it by Kamal Ravikant
and Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden.
And if you've not read either of them, I will tell you a bit about them in just a second
but you can access them via Audible if you sign up with our link below which is audible.com/charisma.
With that, you get a free 30-day trial and you can choose to listen to one of those audiobooks for free if this is your first time signing up.
Audible also has an unbeatable selection of audiobooks and it makes it super easy to
have more books in your life which I think is incredibly important.
It's especially nice because if you have to commute to work where you're driving and
you're in public transportation, you can still feed your brain with these really good gems.
So, Kamal Ravikant's book — excellent primer for self-love.
Nathaniel Branden's Six Pillars of Self-Esteem — even though it has self-esteem in the title,
I think it borders on self-love especially the parts about self-acceptance and self-consciousness
and those have fantastic exercises for cultivating this and developing it inside of you.
So if you want to sign up for Audible, you'll get access to a huge, huge library of audiobooks
and you get that free one with a 30-day trial so I highly, highly recommend checking out one of those two.
In addition, this is the announcement — I've been working probably for the last year, nearly, and a half on a course called Emotional Mastery.
I am super excited for it and I'm going to launch it next week
and it really does deal in part with this concept of self-love.
It's a tough course to describe because, really, in the same way that I didn't see these issues prior to doing these exercises, that's kind of what the course is about.
There's things in our life that we don't necessarily recognize our holding us back
and when we do see them, it's shocking that they've been there all along but they surprise us
and when we remove them, there's a level of happy and joy and freedom and achievement that flows from that
that's just tough to conceive of beforehand so that's really as difficult as I describe what the course is about.
If you're interested in it and want to know more, you can sign up for our email list
where we'll be releasing that course next week so I hope that you have found this video interesting.
Let me know. This is the kind of stuff that I've been thinking a lot about lately.
And of course, if you like this video, subscribe to the channel.
We're going to have a new breakdown coming out on Thursday and then
some more in this vein probably next Monday so I hope you like this and I'll see you in the next one.
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[ENG] [99 Second Self-PR] The Unit (더 유닛): Hyunjoo (Former APRIL) - Duration: 1:43.
Mirror, Mirror
Who will you pick from The Unit?
The one with the twinkling eyes like stars,
the always hardworking and full of charms,
with the pure and bright energy,
Hyunjoo is your pick, right?
To be honest, me too~
Hello
I'm from DSP media,
19 year old Lee Hyunjoo, who's refreshing and sweet like an apple
I want to achieve the dream I couldn't before through THE UNIT
And become the best girl group, giving and receiving a lot of love.
For that to happen
I will always work hard (x3)
and show you all of my charms!
Do you see my charm?
My never-ending charm no matter how much you peel
I'm confident I can pull off everything
So please view me prettily, support me and remember me!
And please make sure to vote for me!
For Hyunjoo, who's sweet and refreshing like an apple
Vote, vote, vote!
Fall for Hyunjoo please~!
Please vote for me~
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[ENG] [99 Second Self-PR] The Unit (더 유닛): Namoo Actors Lee Jung Ha - Duration: 1:45.
Guys, is Lee Jungha from The Unit really good at soccer?
Oh- Where you just talking about me?
I'm really good at soccer, watch!
Pass!
Anyone can make a mistake so
I'll show you something else
Can you stand on this ball and stay still?
I can do it, watch carefully
What do you think? This is hard but I can do it
I'll show you until here
Hello, I'm Namoo Actors rookie Lee Jung Ha
As you saw, I played sports & worked out when I was young
So I have a good stamina and sturdy thighs
I really liked to sing and dance when I was young
but I had a really low self-steem
I thought I wouldn't be able to learn and always ran away
Since I've never learned professionaly, I'll be lacking compared to the others
But I won't ran away anymore and take on this challenge.
Using my great stamina, I'll practice more than anyone else
I'll put in so much effort and make this work
Please show me your love and support
Thank you!
Lee Jungha, fighting!
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On Self-Important Arab/Turkish Muslim Nationalists and Iranian Nationalists - Duration: 10:54.
Silly me i meant Hulagu Khan
Did they really? or is this revisionist history like everything else they claim? I'm sure that most scholars say it came from Indians. So Indians can say the same thing
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North Korea pledges regime will pursue 'self-rehabilitation' in face of sanctions - Duration: 0:42.
North Korea remains defiant in the face of the international community's sanctions on
the regime, and has pledged to continue pursuing what it calls its "revolution of self-rehabilitation."
In a column said to be written by a professor in Monday's edition of the state-run newspaper
Rodong Sinmun, it describes the sanctions as useless as waiting for the oceans to dry
out.
It adds that scientific advances are its greatest weapon to undercut the sanctions and that
the North Korean army and people will show the world their determination.
The latest UN sanctions were passed in September, and the U.S. followed up with its own unilateral
sanctions since.
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Discover the 7 Secrets to Overcome Self Sabotage - Duration: 1:08.
Hello welcome, if you're here you're probably dealing with Depression
Disordered Eating or Self-Sabotage. My name is Lisa Lieberman Wang
and I'm no stranger to that. I spent the better part of my life and Dis-Ease with myself eating compulsively binging purging
13 years to be exact and it's now 25 years that I've been free and abstinent from hurting myself.
And I know that there are so many people looking for the answers, and I put this together for you.
I would love to share with you the 7 Secrets to Overcome Self-Sabotage so you can live an authentic life,
happy, healthy, and free!
All you need to do is fill out the form before below and
Opt in we will give you an amazing video I put together and if you share this with your friends
I'm going to give you a free copy of my number one best-selling book find a fab and
Fine is how I used to feel and that was F'd Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
and I thought FAB Fabulous, Awesome, Beautiful be better. I'd love to share with you. How you can take this journey too?
Opt-in now, and I'll see you on the other side.
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North Korea pledges regime will pursue 'self-rehabilitation' in face of sanctions - Duration: 0:40.
North Korea remains defiant in the face of the international community's sanctions on
the regime, and has pledged to continue pursuing what it calls its "revolution of self-rehabilitation."
In a column said to be written by a professor in Monday's edition of the state-run newspaper
Rodong Sinmun, it describes the sanctions as useless as waiting for the oceans to dry
out.
It adds that scientific advances are its greatest weapon to undercut the sanctions and that
the North Korean army and people will show the world their determination.
The latest UN sanctions were passed in September, and the U.S. followed up with its own unilateral
sanctions since.
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Putting Our Self-Advocacy Skills to Use - Duration: 4:11.
[Instrumental music]
Darcus Nims: Me and Betty, we asked to
go to a conference in Washington, DC again.
This time, we didn't have no helpers.
We could go on our own.
Betty Williams: And we thought we knew where we were going. And we thought we had all the information,
but we didn't when we got there. We were under the impression that somebody was picking us up at
the airport. Well, when they didn't show up we started getting nervous, but we sit there and we
tried to figure out well what are we going to do next. And what we decided was that we sit
there for about an hour to see if the people would show up, and they never showed up.
Darcus Nims: I had some money on my calling card.
I kept on calling all these hotels and stuff and see if they had someone -- had us registered.
Nobody had us registered.
Betty Williams: So then we decided to get a cab and just to go somewhere close to the Metro so
that we could get on one of the Metro trains the next day. We just kept walking until we
found a hotel that we thought fit what we needed. So we -- I had at the time credit card
so we used our -- we used my credit card to get a room. And so the next day we got up and
tried to call the number that we had for the people that was supposed to pick us up. And
they were already gone so we had to find -- we had to -- they -- there were some people there were
still some people there that told us to just go to the Metro and to -- that we would see
people with disabilities on the Metro so to just follow people with disabilities then we'd
find the rally that we were supposed to be at. Well, we did that and we were able to find --
at least find the rally that we were supposed to go to.
Darcus Nims: And that -- then, we got there to get our home and got booked into a
storm [laughter]. And then we had to switch planes and stuff because the plane
that was supposed to take us wasn't going to take us home and stuff.
But, if we didn't know about self-advocates and how to do this and stuff, we wouldn't know
how to book a hotel or how to get to the place we were having the conference and stuff
like that because we always depend on our helpers and stuff, and -- or depend on other
people to help us.
There was nobody there to help us.
We had to depend on ourselves, something that nobody thought we could do.
Really, we didn't think we could do it ourselves and we thought -- we were shocked we did it.
Betty Williams: You know, we knew, we know that if we hadn't had self-advocacy skills
that we wouldn't have been able to survive that because we -- we were really scared
because we didn't know what to do. We were ready to go back home. We were ready to get
back on the plane and go home, but the airport told us we couldn't go home because we had
to wait until the next day to get our plane tickets. So we really did have to rely on the
skills that we had learned to be able to survive that night. So I mean we always tell people
that we credit self-advocacy for that because we learned how to rely on ourselves and have
confidence in who we are and what we believe in through self-advocacy.
[Instrumental music]
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D4L Orientation Week 2: Self Determination Theory - Duration: 4:10.
Most of you are at least familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. And we know that if our basic
physical needs are not met, there is very little chance of advancing up the hierarchy towards
self-actualization, that is, true personal growth and fulfillment as a human being. And
that's why we make sure that kids in schools have their physical and safety needs met before
we even expect them to be able to learn. And why support for breakfast programs and for lunch programs in schools
is so very important. Well, going beyond those physical and safety needs, there are also
psychological human needs that we all share and these needs tremendously impact our ability
and our motivation to learn. So this lecture is about theory. But in the Foundation Module,
you'll get to put some of this theory into practice, practical strategies, when you think about
instructional design and the strategies that we can employ.
The theory I'm going to talk about is called Self-Determination Theory.
And it's one of the most studied theories of motivation and of human psychological needs in the world.
It was originally put forth by Drs. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan
from the University of Rochester, but it has since been researched by literally hundreds of scholars
world-wide, including myself. It's been used across many domains including medicine
and education and it's been found to hold up cross culturally, as well, which is very important.
I wanted to share some of this theory
with you because it has enlightened my own work in designing and evaluating online learning
environments. And so I believe that it is also going to help stimulate your thinking, as well.
Again, Self-Determination Theory holds that all human beings have certain psychological
needs and that these needs beg to be satisfied in order to feel healthy and well-adjusted.
As I mention these needs, please be thinking about what this all means in terms of our
roles as instructors and particularly when we are no longer face to face with our learners
but rather we are interacting with them in cyberspace.
The first of these is the Need for Competence. We need to feel that we can be effective.
Deci says that if a person doesn't feel competent, you can actually predict negative psychological
consequences, and this has been proven.
So, what can we do to help learners feel competent as online learners?
The second need we are going to look at is relatedness. We are social creatures.
We all want to relate to one another. To belong.
And the third need is autonomy. We want to feel we have control over what we do.
We have the desire to regulate our own environment, our own learning.
And when we feel that sense of control, we become engaged. We're motivated.
We're willing to expend an effort and some energy on learning.
But what happens if you are an online learner in
an environment that is poorly organized, you can't find your way around, some of the links
don't work, there are not many choices?
Now, how is that going to affect your sense of autonomy?
And your sense of being able to control your online learning?
So, while content is king, so to speak, our roles as instructional designers will also mean
that we have to support a learner's sense of competence, autononomy,
and relatedness in an online learning environment.
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